I'm not myself anymore and crying out for help...please

[User12340987]

Hello how are you all? Really want to talk about a situation with my ex boyfriend and I..we were living together for about a year and we were so happy. We had fun together and we clicked so well..you can kind of call it "soulmates"..every time I was with him I felt so young and peaceful...but I recently left him because of a stupid miscommunication. We were in the car and had a disagreement about ignoring each other, but I felt like he wasn't trying to communicate and help resolve the conflict therefore I packed all my items and attempted to leave..the same night he told me to stay and come to bed with him and that he would talk about things with me the next day..so the next day came and after after class I told him I was on my way home (which I was 3 hours late because I was out shopping but he didn't know because I didn't communicate that with him so I assume he was upset). So as soon as I got home, he left to go to a concert with his friend and didn't come back home until 5 o'clock in the morning...so that hurt my feelings because he didn't even attempt to fix things with me first just because I came home late..and so I went to work the next day and texted him to let him know I'll be leaving the next day and he replied "we still didn't get to talk.." and I said "you weren't there for us to talk" and he replied "that's because I waited hours for you" and I asked him what he means and he said "nevermind I'll tell you later" and I told him no you need to speak now and he never replied which boiled my blood even more so the next day came and I packed all my things and he didn't even try to stop me...so I left. A month went by and I texted him to see how he was doing and we were chatting for a bit..I asked him to call me two days later and he said he would after he got home so I waited and waited but he never called or even texted me for days...so yesterday I texted him this message: "There is an immense possibility that you're still upset with me and rather not talk..I get it...And I dread doing this via text, but I apologize for everything negative that I've done in our past circumstances. I hurt my best friend and I didn't mean to..I was in a point in my life of confusion and if I could take it back I promise I would. Most importantly I want to say I'm sorry for walking away and leaving you stranded during a very tough time in your life. Knowing you were going through hardships and needed my support...I was just so broken..I needed you to be there to help fix me...but felt like you didn't truly understand exactly. And that unfortunately, was never properly disclosed. However, I still got your back. I've been praying for your wellbeing and hope that regardless of whatever challenges you're facing, you remember that God will heal everything in time without a doubt..follow your mind and heart. Live happy. You know I'm always here whenever or IF ever you decide to communicate, nonetheless I'll understand without judgement..p.s. I'm going to catch a movie this week and it'll be cool if you came..maybe release some stress. Positive vibes. Take care!"....he hasn't replied...I really miss him a lot...I miss him being there for me..I'm having so much problems at where I'm living at now..fights..have to leave by August with literally nowhere else to go...Situations at my job where I have to leave soon..and I feel like he's the only one who really understands me and the only one who was really there to help me during my struggles, however I feel like he doesn't care anymore..did he give up that easily? Did he already find someone new? Why would he not reply even though the message was genuine and supportive? Why didn't he call? It's so hard not having someone by your side through tough times..someone to motivate you when you're doubting yourself..I don't have family or anything like that to turn to so it's very hard on me. I miss that support system, but I don't wanna call and make him feel like I'm needy or he feels like he has control over me..or possibly reject me..What should I do? Thank you.

[DancingFool]

So you had some kind of an argument and your reaction was to pack your stuff and want to leave him. I mean you were over the top reacting and ending the relationship. He basically tried to salvage things by asking to address things the next day when you are both calmer. You agreed and then pulled a totally passive aggressive move by showing up 3 hours late. You basically told him through your actions you that you are done and no longer give a sh$t about working things out, not to mention don't respect him or his time or your relationship. He rightfully headed out for the night. You were being the jerk and then it's your feelings that are hurt when someone doesn't accept your bs???? Do you see that you were in the wrong here because if you don't, you'll keep doing this in all your relationships. He was 100% correct to be done with you.

 

What you do is take a really good look at yourself and how you behave and fix that so that going forward you don't wreck your relationships, be it boyfriend, friends, work, etc.

[MissCanuck]

You were being the jerk and then it's your feelings that are hurt when someone doesn't accept your bs???? Do you see that you were in the wrong here because if you don't, you'll keep doing this in all your relationships. He was 100% correct to be done with you.

 

I completely agree.

 

OP, I'm going to be blunt: You need a serious attitude adjustment. Your sense of entitlement and self-righteousness is quite astonishing.

[Birdie]

OP This is just a small excerpt from your post about a month ago about (I think) the same fight:

 

".I got to the house and I see him packing my things and when he saw me he chocked me against the wall and said "you broke my car!" I told him it wasn't done purposely as I was trying to make sure he didn't pull me out the car..while he was choking me I hit him and he hit back hard so we basically brawled then he decided to call my mother and I b**** so I took it to defense so I hit him again and he hit me back I brought out the iron attempting to hit him with it but he grabbed it out my hand and band my head against the wall..I'm still getting headaches from it...I cried and cried and he left me with bruises..."

 

You are NOT soul mates. Leave this relationship behind for good and I would look into some counselling.