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Is this a problem, or am I being crazy?


kaykat

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Hi guys!

This is my first time posting a thread on this site, but have been replying and exploring others.

I have been talking/dating this guy for about a month now, so it's nothing too serious yet but it seems to have the potential to. However, he got out of a long relationship a few months prior, and says it was "long overdue". For the most part, he seems to be over the girl in said relationship and I have brought it up and asked, and he says he is. She's a little on the crazy side, as she has messaged me (I don't know the girl at all prior) when she found out we were talking. He and I both joke about it when it comes up, so it doesn't seem like he has any leftover feelings from it. However, sometimes he'll make a comment about her that will kind of take me aback, like I'll make a comment and he'll reply with "at least you're not as bad as a certain someone". It kind of bothers me, because it worries me that he is not truly over this girl. On the other hand, he could just be lightheartedly joking about it and trying to make me feel better. Or, I'm just being plain crazy, haha.

Thoughts?

Thanks

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I think you are overthinking a little bit because he is with you and I'm sure no longer has feelings for her.

 

Although I feel he may still have pent up anger towards her and that's why he says that. He just needs time to get rid of that anger. Don't worry he's not into her.

 

Lisa

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How did this girl get your contact info?

 

Yeah and what did the ex have to say to you?

 

"at least you're not as bad as a certain someone"

 

I really don't know the context of this comment, but it seems off base. Even if this just joking, he's still inferring (whether he knows it or not) and comparing both of you as being bad/crazy.

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"at least you're not as bad as a certain someone" - wth?

 

Is this one of those cases where a guy tells you his ex was crazy and he doesn't want to have anything to do with her, but then he's the "cray cray" one who is not over her?

 

What did she tell you when she contacted you? Contacting the new girlfriend of an ex shows some craziness indeed, I have to admit.

 

I'm not saying he's not over her and he's with you and not her, but I'm always suspicious of people who talk too much trash about their exes or are always referencing them. I usually feel that I'm not aware of all sides of the story.

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Why is he talking disparagingly about the ex? Also, how did she get your contact info, and find out about you? These two things, in addition to him recently being out of a long term relationship, are HUGE red flags. I would not touch this. You are a rebound!

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No. They don't. If someone is talking about their ex, they are not over them.

 

If they talk about their ex one time or two when the subject comes up is one thing... if one is always taking about their ex or always talking trash about them, it conveys the message that they are not over them. Even if they actually believe that the ex is crazy and want nothing to do with them, it seems like they're not over the whole situation. And if that's so, it seems like they're not ready to be in a relationship yet.

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Hi guys!

This is my first time posting a thread on this site, but have been replying and exploring others.

I have been talking/dating this guy for about a month now, so it's nothing too serious yet but it seems to have the potential to. However, he got out of a long relationship a few months prior, and says it was "long overdue". For the most part, he seems to be over the girl in said relationship and I have brought it up and asked, and he says he is. She's a little on the crazy side, as she has messaged me (I don't know the girl at all prior) when she found out we were talking. He and I both joke about it when it comes up, so it doesn't seem like he has any leftover feelings from it. However, sometimes he'll make a comment about her that will kind of take me aback, like I'll make a comment and he'll reply with "at least you're not as bad as a certain someone". It kind of bothers me, because it worries me that he is not truly over this girl. On the other hand, he could just be lightheartedly joking about it and trying to make me feel better. Or, I'm just being plain crazy, haha.

Thoughts?

Thanks

 

If they're still talking about them, they're still thinking about them.

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