WombatShadow Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I try to stay positive about my chances with my ex, but sometimes it's good to be shot in the foot with a dose of realism. If you want to read the whole torrid affair it's available through my profile (warning: I write novels), but I'll give the basics here. My ex broke things off in February after more than three years of a good/great relationship (save for a few months near the end). We had some very minor disagreements (usually he would fall off on contact because of work stress/LDRness and I'd call him on it or vice versa) but no actual fights until after we broke up. We've been friends since we were 11 and have always had a really good friendship and just gotten on swimmingly. Even now that we're broken up, we still finish each others' thoughts and jokes. It has recently come to light that we both had the same immediate reaction to breaking up: texting/calling all of our mutual friends and our families and telling them to take care of the other, only to pester our poor friends for details on the other's well-being thereafter. We had a meeting last week that was explicitly to talk about what went wrong. On my side, there were two things: my birth control made me crazy (true story) and I wasn't able to move down to his city and resolve the LDR (we're about two hours away from each other and would see each other anywhere from every week to every 4 weeks depending on our schedules). He revealed during the conversation that he had begun to feel like seeing me was a chore (which I think is related to the BC craziness; he's unsure why but agrees that could be it) and that he was afraid that it was just going to get worse until we stood no chance at salvaging anything. He also revealed last week that he has missed me terribly, that he was an absolute wreck until a few weeks ago, that he's still immensely physically attracted to me, and that he has never written off us getting back together someday. I was surprised at all of these confessions, especially because I didn't ask leading questions or anything. He just came out and said this stuff. He did say that he's not dating or intending to date anyone at the moment, and seemed surprised (maybe a little hurt?) that I was on a dating site and had been on a date. We're both on the same page at the moment in that we don't feel that jumping back into a relationship right now would be a good idea. I suggested that we do what we did to get into the relationship in the first place: start hanging out more without the mutual friends around, keep in closer touch via text, and see if any feelings regrow. He agreed to that, but said he's still not sure if we're meant to be in a relationship or if we're better off as close friends. We then spent the rest of the night catching ourselves flirting, and we kept finding excuses to get closer to each other at our friend's house. The night ended with a lingering hug. And that's where we are now. We spent about six hours together that night (three alone, three with a friend), saw each other for a further two hours the next night with our group, and have texted here and there. We both agree that we want to hang out again in the nearish and do stuff like finishing our Netflix show (two freaking episodes left in the season when we broke up!) and playing Pokemon Go, but right now our schedules ain't gonna allow that. So, ENA, this is where I invite you to come in with your ice buckets and douse me in reality. What are the chances that this will actually develop into a relationship again? I'm not holding out waiting for him and honestly will be fine if we decide that we're better off as friends, but I still dwell on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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