I keyed my boyfriends car like an a**hole!

[Testing123]

Hi all,

 

So I've been in a 2.5+ year relationship with my boyfriend who I love dearly. Yesterday we got into a HEATED arguement (the worst fight we have ever been in). After screaming and yelling at each other, he threw a hot pizza at me that was still cooling down from being out of the oven. I wasn't burned or anything, but it just really caught me off guard. I took his keys with the intention of leaving our new apartment (because I didn't have my car), and I never had any intention of keying his car. However, when I got to the car and discovered all the pizza sauce on my shirt, I angrily keyed his car on the driver side. I immediately went back to our apartment and starting crying and apologizing. I offered to pay for the damages as well. It seems as though he forgave me that night, but I can't get over what I have done. It was instant regret and I've never done that before, nor do I plan on ever going that far again. I KNOW I took it way too far, you don't have to tell me that. My only concern now is, how do I live with myself? How do we continue this relationship even though every time we go out to his car, it reminds me of how evil we get towards each other. I love this man with all my heart but love can drive a person crazy sometimes.

[Seraphim]

You pay for the damage . It is not enough to be contrite. Being actually sorry is getting his car repainted. That is the moral thing to do.

[ThatwasThen]

I'd mount that pizza covered shirt in a Shadow Box and hang it on the New Apartment wall to remind him that what he did was just as bad as what you did. O.o

[Capricorn3]

How do we continue this relationship even though every time we go out to his car, it reminds me of how evil we get towards each other. .

You don't continue with the relationship, it's dysfunctional. Screaming, yelling, throwing hot food, keying cars....You two sound toxic for each other. Pay for the damage and leave.

[Seraphim]

You don't continue with the relationship, it's dysfunctional. Screaming, yelling, throwing hot food, keying cars....You two sound toxic for each other. Pay for the damage and leave.

 

Absolutely, pay for the damage and move on.

[Capricorn3]

I love this man with all my heart but love can drive a person crazy sometimes.

This is a strange kind of love. In my world, we have never screamed, yelled, thrown hot food at each other or keyed cars. OP, if that's what you call love, I feel really bad for you.

[j.man]

You two would be great on Maury.

[agent1607307371]

love can drive a person crazy sometimes.

 

This is not love. This is a relationship that is about to nose dive into real abuse. You can love someone and still not be compatible. You guys are not compatible. Either break up or commit to couples counselling.

[Capttrae]

You'd be single.

[ParisPaulette]

You've both crossed a line to being violent at each other, not with each other since neither of you landed any blows, but it's coming if you don't do something constructive either by therapy together or ending things. Get out now and don't look back.

 

But that kind of toxicity does not go away without serious counseling and it will get worse if you just keep on ignoring things.

 

Pay for the damage to his car, but just curious, did he apologize for hurling hot pizza at you? It's time to get some sort of counseling and to examine what or why he's making you crazy, because hurling hot food at your significant other and keying a car in retaliation are not normal fights in a relationship. Not even close.

 

Treat this as a wake up call that you both need to address things fast or get out before more damage is done. And no, love is not enough to fix this. Not even close. Love doesn't fix toxicity or incompatibility issues between two people. Therapy and both parties willing to work on it might, but you both have to be willing to examine why the fights, and why they're becoming violent.

[TheKissOfLife]

i hope things get better...this was not ok, but Im glad that you know so

Im not gonna preach to you but it sounds like you two need some space for a while.

[Testing123]

This was the most "violent" that we have ever gotten with each other. We both have very hardheaded personalities and we're both stubborn people. I'm not using this to justify anything but we usually get in each other's faces when we fight, and not in a violent demeanor. I truly believe that we can get over this.. and yes he did apologize for what he did. We both acknowledged our actions and assured each other that we'll work on our anger issues. When I read other threads on here about someone keying their significant others car, most of them are on the verge of breaking up. For some reason, we were able to get over this (well kinda), pretty quickly. I don't know if that's a positive or negative thing..

 

 

Oh, and we just signed a year lease for our new apartment.

[Snny]

I got into some nasty fights with my husband. But we NEVER tried physically hurting each other, throwing objects, or intentionally vandalize/break each other's property. Do you understand that he can now press charges against you for damaging his car? It will be enough to convince his insurance compay to pay for the repairs if he chooses to do so, and if you don't have the money to fix it. You are lucky he has the patience of a Saint... for now... but bet he won't let it slide again the next fight you get into with him.

 

You cannot live together in harmony if you guys cannot control or monitory your arguments. This is a deal breaker in cohabiting relationships. Perhaps both of you need to look into anger management therapy.

 

There is no excuse for either one of your all's behavior. This is domestic violence, and it will get worse the longer you stay with him.

[MissCanuck]

You two are dysfunctional with the conflict-resolution skills of a couple of kids. It's absolutely not a positive thing that you can get over this so quickly; that suggests the both of you aren't really doing anything to resolve the underlying problems between you two and instead minimize and just sweep it under the rug.

 

Screaming, yelling, throwing things and vandalism? No. Just no. That is toxic and indicates you two should not be together.