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Waiting for the call


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I had this experience several times -great first meet and vague references to another date (or even "want to see --- movie next weekend?') and no follow up. I think it's totally fine that he changed his mind and didn't contact you. You met one time and hadn't had an official date yet. Silence = lack of interest. Do you really want a follow up "you're AMAZING but I don't think we have enough in common" or "sorry I didn't plan that date I mentioned, I met someone else I liked better". Sure if you'd gone out 3 or 4 times on actual dates, he probably should tell you if he changed his mind but after one meet, not necessary. And better that way IMO. Next time no waiting -unless there is a time/place date planned there is no next date or first date -no matter what references he makes that aren't time/place. Then move on and get back on line or get back out there.

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So...I decided I didn't care and dropped it.


But then I got super curious about it and sent a message, because I gave up on him and thus had nothing to lose. Here's how it went:


"Hey J, am going on a last-minute trip on Friday and am not sure how many days I'll be gone. It was fun hanging out and hope to see you when I'm back!"


I work in a sales role and have to travel a lot for work, often last minute, and am gone until the jobs get done--he knows this.


And he wrote back saying he had fun, too, and to text him when I'm back "so we can try to set something up."


Hmmm...not sure I will, and not sure he wasn't just responding to be polite, but interesting that he responded. I almost wish he hadn't because now the ball is in my court.

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It is not in your court because you wrote in your post they you don't want to see him again. At most he is lukewarm. If he was enthusiastic about seeing you he'd want to close the deal so you don't get snapped up by someone else. Sometimes extending a first meet isn't the best approach - better to do shorter and sweeter and leave him wanting more.

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