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Girlfriend no longer wants sex


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I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years. I just turned 21 and she will turn 20 this year. When we started having sex 2 years ago things were great. Pretty much every time we got to see each other we took the opportunity. But as time has gone on we have had sex less and less and it has gotten to a point where we are lucky to have sex once a month.


I have talked to her about this and her response to me is that she simply doesn't enjoy sex, and when we do have sex it seems she just wants it to be over with. I have tried changing things to adapt to what she wants but as time went on it just seemed that what she wanted was no sex. Now I don't even try very often and I have built up a lot of frustration. I don't want to leave her because I love her with every part of my soul. I want to have a life with her and leaving her for something like this just doesn't seem right. But for me once a month just isn't cutting it. I feel like I am pushed up against a wall and I would just like some more perspectives on this. Thank you.

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I mean, there's a possibility that she just suddenly became asexual. A slim one. Almost non-existent.


The likelier case is that she slowly decided that she didn't enjoy sex with you specifically, which means there are other things at play in the relationship. Sure, hormones lead to more sex near the beginning of a relationship, but partners should continue to enjoy at least some sex with one another barring health issues of some sort.


Has she recently changed any other behaviors with you?

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Do you focus on pleasing her? Do you take care of yourself phisically?


Have you tried making one session just about pleasing her? Give her a massage, put effort into music,light and scents, and make her associate sex with something good.


How are things going in other aspects of your life/relationship? Does she feel safe in your relationship? How much time do you spend together? Does she have a chance to go out and spend some time with her friends without you?

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