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Sudden break up with strange reason. Hurting and confused.


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So, my ex and I have been dating for 6+ months, and we clicked the day we met. We both are religious and try to lead a life following God's teachings. I am her first serious relationship, and she is my 2nd, she turns 25 this year I turn 27. We enjoyed a lot of the same things, and were both very chill, just hung out had a good time together, we both believe in no sex before marriage so there wan't pressure from that. We had made plans to go camping and to a festival and stuff, which i normally didn't do often because why go alone you know. So, like i was saying we clicked right from the start, and it was awesome, we both told each other how great it was, and how everything we did was fun.


When i first told her i loved her it was after 4 months, and I had said that it may seem crazy but that is how i feel, and she said the same thing. It was almost like we were meant to be together, because of the circumstances of how we met. So from that point everything was the same except about 2 or 3 weeks after, she had brought up marriage to me, which scared me a little, but i loved her, and wanted to spend my life with her, so we had talked about it, and set a date for may of 2018. From that point we talked about kids, and pets, and a couple of random things. Overall though, everything was still perfect, we talked about how we loved each other, and nothing changed.


Well two weeks ago she said she wanted to talk, and i panicked and asked if she was breaking up with me (both things over messaging), part of that was because that is how it went the last time i got broke up with and that is like the classic starter question. She had told me yes, and she didn't want to do it like this, she wanted to tell to me in person. She felt like we didn't see eye to eye on some things and that she didn't think we wanted the same thing out of the relationship. I was floored, we had never argued about anything, and she didn't ever act distant. I asked if i did something or if i could change something and she said no. So at this point i'm just super confused and very hurt. I asked what reasons she felt like we needed to split up.


So the reasons she gave me were as follows, and I'll explain them as i put them in. First she said that she loves dresses and wants more than 35 even if she rarely wears them, so this we had a conversation about where i was not worried about it because it seemed silly and i kind of joked about it, she had talked about wanting 100 dresses, and then we talked back an forth and settled on 35, and i was more joking than anything, because i don't really care about how many dresses she has, and it was just a random thing that came up when we were driving out of town.


Second, she said that if she found an animal that was a stray or something, she wouldn't want to have to try and convince me to keep it, we had a conversation about having 2 cats and a dog or 2 cats and 2 dogs, and she asked what if we found a stray, and i said we can take care of it depending on how many pets we have, or we would take it to adopt a pet, but we agreed that it didn't matter until we knew where we would be living. We talked about this on that same drive, and again i'm not too focused on it because it is very far into the future. P.S. We had talked about not moving in with each other until we were married, so this is at least a year from now, and it depended on where we would have been living.


Third, she said she felt like i didn't respect her because kept trying to give her a kiss when she was sick for 2 weeks, and she didn't want one because she felt gross, and that she didn't like when i had joked saying "if you love me you'll kiss me" which was exactly that a joke, but i see that it was in bad taste. She also said that i told her i didn't believe she was sick, but i have no idea where she got that from?? When this was happening, she didn't get upset when i tried to kiss her, and i ended up kissing her on the head or cheek or something, and we had wrestled around a couple times where i was acting like i was going to kiss her, but didn't and we were laughing about it at the time.


Lastly, she said if she found her dream job in xxxx state, she would want full support from me to take that job, and i've made it clear that i would never move. Here i'm confused as well because moving got brought up in a light conversation where i had said that i didn't really want to move, but at the time we were early in the relationship, and it never got brought up again until now.


After all this i asked for a second chance, told her if i had known that these things bothered her so much and that they were important to her, they would have been important to me too, and we can work through it. I told her when i said i didn't want to leave nebraska was because i never had a reason to before, and spending a life with her is all the reason i would need. I told her i didn't mean to belittle her if that is how she felt, and that i didn't mean to hurt her. I'm still confused at this point as to how it got to here. She didn't bring up any of this before this point, except the one time where we had any kind of argument or she had been upset was when i joked about the "if you love me you'll kiss me".


So she told me she would sit and explain things but i needed to give her some time. So I'm just very confused and have come to the conclusion that this can be a couple things, and i'm scared of which it is. It could be that everything was new and exciting and great, and once it got serious she realized that it wasn't new anymore and she didn't really want to be with me at that point. The other one it could be is that it was amazing and carefree and we loved each other, and it got serious and we had a few discussions about the future, and i had said things that she didn't agree with, or that upset her, but went along with it, but then she panicked thinking that i would be controlling, and would never move so she would be stuck here and so she called it off, and she needs some time because i told her that i loved her and that if those things meant a lot to her then they meant a lot to me too.


It hasn't been a long time, only two weeks, but all of this from the initial breakup text happened through text, and i had been overbearing somewhat since it happened because i was trying to get her to sit down and talk so we could fix us. Her friend told me that i needed to stop trying to talk to her, because any chance i have of getting back with her gets worse every time i try. That she said she wants space so i cannot try to talk to her at all because she doesn't want anything to do with me right now and she feels like i'm smothering her. Once i got that text i backed off realizing that i cannot do anything else at this point as i have told her how i feel and how the issues she had were ones that we can work through. I gave my key to her apartment to her friend telling her to give it to her because i didn't want her to be uncomfortable that i had it or have it be awkward asking for it back.


I'm working on myself moving on and filling the gaps that i have now with Christ and worship, giving her some time and space to figure out what is going on with her, and obviously hoping that it is fear or emotions, and that i didn't ruin it by telling her how i felt. I'm just very lost right now because i wanted to spend my life with this person, and everyone i know is shocked because they saw how happy we were after we started dating and that we both had talked about how great each other was. I don't know, I guess i'm just needing to vent, it is very hard because we were best friends, and we talked every day, so I have to make myself not ask how her day has been, and how she is feeling. It will be a long time before i am over her, and i still want to know if something happened, because the reasons she gave me seem a little small, well unless she built them up because of fear. I'm going to continue working on myself and getting back to being a happy confident person while hoping i get a response from her in the next month or two to sit down and either get closure and end it, or talk through what happened and make sure it doesn't happen again and move on.

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