Broke up with someone i loved no choice...

[Evo109]

Hi i hope im in the right place....i was with my ex for 11 years and i blew it.however since halloween id been dating this girl i was so in love with id had my rebounds after long relationship this one i thought was real....she fast became my best friend and we did sleep together first nite at party....im so gutted shes always said she loves me but man oh man does she have a hell of a temper....if i ever catch her out doing something wrong i better not csll her on it or i will get abuse u wudnt imagine....ive long believed she was narcissistic but this last one was it for me and i really need help im struggling so badly....she went on a trip camping w8th her friend and her bf the week before my bday and fought with me over nothing the nite before she left...then zero contact from then i had no fking idea where she was and there was no reception where she went.she knows i have trust issues so it killed me i spent the whole weekend panicing literally cudnt sleep....anyway i got by it and let it go so we cud continue....im no saint i have my issues but im loyal to a flaw wud never cheat i hatr wen i hear other ppl do n i call em on it....but then i went to log onto fb on my comp and she was still logged in and up pops a chat window where she complained our sex was good but she cudnt get there and wanted to talk to a doc....this is absolute bs she orgasms like craxy constantly and also squirts like mad abd ive had her literally shaking like she said this to a girl my confidence wud be shattered if i didnt know this was complete bull so at least i know that cus if i didnt itd destroy me....but why say it that girl will tell other ppl and her bf etc so im mad labeled there she says she only said it cus the girl she was talking to was a weirdo loser and she wanted to make her feel less weird....continued attacking me very aggressively and said if i believe that i can right off and get out of her life etc such harsh u wudnt believe....by the way this girl snoops my phone and facebook etc CONSTANTLY but ive nothing to hide so i dnt care!i didnt snoop it was all open and i saw it i cant unsee it....anyway then the trip she went on some pics came up on fb that were not posted ao i dont know how they got there but tje boyfriend had taken pics of them both totally naked infront of a waterfall....im the guy who worries her shirt is too low (i know im jealous....) and she knows this very well and always reassures me saying ive never anyrhing to worry about etc and shed never disrespect me and all this crap...then i see that and call her on it and i didnt get mad i was so numb i cudnt react...she starts cussing me out again calling me a oiece of again and her defense was 'i told them this better not appear on social media or anywhere cus my bf will lose his mind ' so knowing this why the fk wud she do it?absolute crap im sorry but thats too much for me and thats only what i saw god knows what else happens....i caught her doing cocaine a few times behind my back also and let that go so is she just a party girl ?that guy got to see my gf naked infront of him and i dont even like ppl seeing her cleavage like what the actual fk od never dream of soing something like that to her....so what else does she hide that id freak about if i saw? Even if it was harmless fun it wasnt to me and im devestated anout it and she knew i wud be...anyway she continued to attack me sooooo harshly and still i didnt react....then txts day later saying shea sorry and loves me and shudnt have done it asking to come use my computer?!am i fking crazy?this is the latest in a long line of things i almost left over this one is too much for me im destroyed and broken....yes im sensitive but that girl was my world i dunno wat to do hence registering here and asking advice....am i being stupid?i cant help it it killed me....she knew it wid so y do it?then she breaks up, not me....then asks for 200 back she lent me despite me lending her the money for the fking trip in the first place. I knew the trip wud be our undoing from the beginning....shes obsessed with money and ive spent sooooo much on her i give her money all the time buy her rings pandora bracelets etc....so upset shell just go someone else i bet i have zero trust and i cant change that. Have i made the right choice?my friends all already tell me this girl is terrible for me and wanted me to leave her ages ago...im so distraught and broken please some advice guys....

 

Ty for listening i needed this off my chest

[SherrySher]

Can you break this up into paragraphs, please? It will make it easier to read.

[Clio]

....we did sleep together first nite at party

 

she have a hell of a temper....if i ever catch her out doing something wrong i better not csll her on it or i will get abuse u wudnt imagine....ive long believed she was narcissistic

 

she complained our sex was good but she cudnt get there and wanted to talk to a doc....this is absolute bs

 

why say it that girl will tell other ppl and her bf etc so im mad labeled there she says she only said it cus the girl she was talking to was a weirdo loser and she wanted to make her feel less weird....continued attacking me very aggressively and said if i believe that i can right off and get out of her life etc such harsh u wudnt believe....

 

by the way this girl snoops my phone and facebook etc CONSTANTLY

....im the guy who worries her shirt is too low (i know im jealous....)

 

...she starts cussing me out again calling me a oiece of again

 

i caught her doing cocaine a few times behind my back

 

then she breaks up, not me....then asks for 200 back she lent me despite me lending her the money for the fking trip in the first place.

 

....shes obsessed with money and ive spent sooooo much on her i give her money all the time

 

 

So to recap: she lied about you, she abused you again and again, she doesn't respect your privacy, she uses cocaine, she is milking money off you and you are still wondering whether you made the right choice in breaking up with her...WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

Plus, this is a girl who slept with you the first night you met (i.e. she is comfortable with sleeping with strangers) and she was ok having nude pics taken of her by a stranger. Yet you expect her to be dressed conservatively and be dependable. You need to stay single and fix your issues. See a therapist. You knowingly chose someone who is likely to make your worst fears come true and you tried to change her into something she is not. That means that you need to see a therapist to address whatever is broken inside of you or you will continue to fall for girls that trigger your issues. Whatever you do, DO NOT go back to her.

[Evo109]

Thankyou.....its easy for u to say but i dO love her hence needing to hear u say that....seriously ty

[Clio]

Thankyou.....its easy for u to say but i dO love her hence needing to hear u say that....seriously ty

 

You are welcome. You made the right choice. Now you need to stay strong and NOT go back. This can be a very helpful forum in supporting you through difficult times but you do need to try to write in paragraphs so that it is easier for people to read what you write. Good luck!