So it's over; I do not know how or what to feel

[Stefa16]

So, unfortunately, after a lot of drama, the relationship over. I have decided to go the delete his number from my phone so I cannot carry on stalking his last seen on Whatsapp as this is pure torture. Somehow I feel a bit empty, how will we go about raising our daughter as the sight of him is like a double edged sword to my heart? May I sulk for a bit, do I have to be the bigger person now while the wounds are so fresh. Obviously if he wants to see his child I will not deny him, but I think it is fair to not have each other on a chatting platform.

 

It basically ended after an unnecessary conflict situation whereby he chose to ignore me, for self-preservation I told him I am leaving since there has been absolutely no effort from his side to resolve the conflict or giving in to my request for us to see each other and talk things out (all took place on Whatsapp, wrong I know), I just couldn’t handle it anymore, it was driving me insane. Some would say I should have waited for him to contact me, to bring up the situation. I don’t believe he would have done that. I would have waited and waited and waited… Why would I then want to be with him, after this bad treatment? What is wrong with me?

 

Still no effort made to talk, at least so there can be an amicable environment for us to sort out the issue and move on. The relationship mainly ended due to lack of committing 100%, not giving your all and claiming it just is not working. Currently, by some supernatural power, I am able to keep it together, no crying, I think this is unhealthy because when I allow myself to feel the pain of the break-up I feel it but I immediately stop myself. Like I said: supernatural. We also work together so in the moments when I least expect it…..there he is, I don’t even know how to react then.

 

A friend of mine asked if I think that he has moved on to someone else (based on his behaviour, take note the break-up happened last week), I don’t even want to think about it.

Have any of you gone through something similar? How did you handle it? And how do you effectively move on from someone who you loved more than you thought was possible?

[WombatShadow]

If you're genuinely done with the relationship, it's good to not have each other on WhatsApp. However, you should keep a copy of his number around somewhere because you'll need to be in contact with him for things about your child.

 

He may not be reaching out because he's hurt by this situation. It's painful to be broken up with via phone or text, especially for long-term situationships. On the other hand, he needs to step up for your child at some point. You may need to take him to court for child support and whatnot.

[Stefa16]

Already sorted out the child support bit, no problem there. "Unfortunately" I know his number so that will not be a problem.

 

For him to be hurt though, that I do not get given his part in everything, it felt as if he was indirectly pushing for me to end things due to his complete inaction. Perhaps some of my behaviour was pushy and irrational but it had to be done in order for me to be confronted by his don't care attitude.

 

But, alas, I will occupy myself, luckily I haven't had the urge to save the number again to check on things. Again: supernatural.

 

Thank you for the response.

[MissCanuck]

Already sorted out the child support bit, no problem there. "Unfortunately" I know his number so that will not be a problem.

 

For him to be hurt though, that I do not get given his part in everything, it felt as if he was indirectly pushing for me to end things due to his complete inaction. Perhaps some of my behaviour was pushy and irrational but it had to be done in order for me to be confronted by his don't care attitude.

 

But, alas, I will occupy myself, luckily I haven't had the urge to save the number again to check on things. Again: supernatural.

 

Thank you for the response.

 

You are probably right about this.

 

Some people just can't go the mature and respectful route of telling their partners they no longer wish to continue the relationship, so they indirectly get their partner to do the dirty work.

[Stefa16]

That is such a terrible thing to do, cowardly.