Post here instead of contacting your Ghoster!

[katrina1980]

Only 2 real dates, but we spent 2 other days together.

 

As I've said, I really have no idea why I've attached myself to him so much, but I'm moving closer to acceptance. Anger is just part of the process.

 

I'm going out tonight, so I am getting out there. 😉

 

Fair enough and great you're going out tonight, enjoy!!

 

Moving forward, some introspection into why you become so easily attached might be helpful.

 

I do a lot of introspecting after experiencing disappointments. Looking within. How my own behavior may have led (or contributed) to the disappointment. I think it's important, and I've learned a lot by doing so.

 

It also helps in not becoming bitter and jaded. Feeling less like a victim of someone else's actions, but instead looking at my own. Owning my role in it.

 

Anyhoo, just my $.02 on a Saturday afternoon.

 

Heading out myself soon! Drinks, appetizers, concert downtown.

 

Have fun tonight!

[Tygerlyly53]

I'm not sure if this thread is healthy.

 

I guess posting here is better than sending it to your ex, but ideally what would really help you move on is getting to a place wherein there is no need to post, vent or lament at all.

 

All this continuous lamenting/posting does is keeping you STUCK. Which is actually preventing you from moving on.

 

This forum is great, lots of support here to get you over those initial hurdles.

 

But there comes a point wherein you just have to ACCEPT that people can be thoughtless, and okay cowardly, has nothing to do with you personally, and that whatever you shared together is just over.

 

There is no point and serves no good purpose to keep dwelling on it, I mean JM I understand you were hurt, but seriously, and I mean no disrespect, but you had two real dates.

 

Your intense emotional response to his rejection, which has now escalated to insults and anger, is not healthy and instead of dwelling so much on what a "coward" HE is, look within and determine why it is YOU are unable to let go of an experience you had with someone you had two dates with.

 

For Tygerly, I agree with catfeeder. Shut down this pity party, it's gone on too long.

 

No man has the power to make you feel unworthy and unloveable. That is all on you. Focus on that and healing yourself.

 

I apologize if this sounded harsh, but come on now ladies.

 

Gather your strength and courage, learn from this and take steps to MOVE FORWARD.

 

It's not even about these guys anymore, whatever is going on within you, your feelings/emotions, are all on you.

 

Wishing everyone a beautiful weekend, do something fun!

 

Get outside, enjoy the summer!

 

Head high and spirits UP!

 

Peace and love.

 

I guess I am just not as strong as most of the women on here. I am sorry my postings have become annoying. I am not dealing with things very well lately. I have been doing things to keep myself busy but I can't do that 24/7. There is still a lot of time to feel the pain of what has happened with regard to my love life (or lack thereof). I am not trying to host a "pity party." I would absolutely love to have good news to share or actually have someone make me feel like I matter. A person can only take so much hurt, you know?

 

Anyway, I will try not to post anymore.

[katrina1980]

I guess I am just not as strong as most of the women on here. I am sorry my postings have become annoying. I am not dealing with things very well lately. I have been doing things to keep myself busy but I can't do that 24/7. There is still a lot of time to feel the pain of what has happened with regard to my love life (or lack thereof). I am not trying to host a "pity party." I would absolutely love to have good news to share or actually have someone make me feel like I matter. A person can only take so much hurt, you know?

 

Anyway, I will try not to post anymore.

 

Tygerly, it's not that you shouldn't post. I just don't think it helps to continue to post how this man makes you feel so ugly, unworthy, unlovable etc etc etc.

 

Like his opinion is the be-all-and-end all of your very existence. IT'S NOT!

 

You have received so much positive advice on this thread and others about steps you can take to feel better about yourself.

 

Why not begin taking those steps? I don't mean dating other men, in fact at this point, I don't think you should be dating. At all. It only makes you feel WORSE, so why do it?

 

Instead, take some time to introspect and learn what makes YOU tick, what triggers your reactions, and why, and what motivates you.

 

Strive to become your best self, or a better version of yourself.

 

I have a relatively high self-esteem but I still do that! I am always striving to be a better person.

 

I don't blame others for what happens to me and take responsibility for my own happiness.

 

I would love to see those types of posts from you.

 

Shyt happens, and yeah I've been hurt too. We all have!

 

But have you ever considered that the way you feel about yourself, the negativity, is actually leading to the hurtful situations you experience?

 

This has been said so many times, but no man will ever love you if you FIRST don't love yourself.

 

Learn to love yourself Tygeryly. Take those steps.

[katrina1980]

^^ To add to above post re steps to take to raise your self-esteem, start with volunteering.

 

Look into it. I've done that and by helping others, I was actually helping MYSELF.

 

It's been documented that doing things for others is a great way to raise one's self esteem.

 

Or take a class in something that interests you. Start reading!

 

Become a well-rounded interesting person in general!

 

You might be surprised how much better about yourself you will feel!

 

And men will be drawn to you like bees to honey.

 

Men love women who are positive. Women who like themselves.

 

Women who can bring something to the table other than her looks and sexuality.

 

Men value women like that and want relationships with them.

 

Strive to be that person.

[Tygerlyly53]

^^ To add to above post re steps to take to raise your self-esteem, start with volunteering.

 

Look into it. I've done that and by helping others, I was actually helping MYSELF.

 

It's been documented that doing things for others is a great way to raise one's self esteem.

 

Or take a class in something that interests you. Start reading!

 

Become a well-rounded interesting person in general!

 

You might be surprised how much better about yourself you will feel!

 

And men will be drawn to you like bees to honey.

 

Men love women who are positive. Women who like themselves.

 

Women who can bring something to the table other than her looks and sexuality.

 

Men value women like that and want relationships with them.

 

Strive to be that person.

 

Thanks Katrina. Honestly, I already do a lot of the things you suggested. I volunteer with several different organizations on a regular basis, I take classes on occasion if I find something that interests me, I spend a lot of time with friends and family. I think I am a well-rounded person all in all, I just have rotten luck when it comes to the opposite sex.

 

I know people like a happy woman over a sad sack and I am not gloomy when I am around other people. But it is hard to be positive when your heart is constantly being broken.

[Honeycomb8]

I guess I am just not as strong as most of the women on here. I am sorry my postings have become annoying. I am not dealing with things very well lately. I have been doing things to keep myself busy but I can't do that 24/7. There is still a lot of time to feel the pain of what has happened with regard to my love life (or lack thereof). I am not trying to host a "pity party." I would absolutely love to have good news to share or actually have someone make me feel like I matter. A person can only take so much hurt, you know?

 

Anyway, I will try not to post anymore.

 

You don't need anyone to show you that you matter.

You should KNOW you matter just by knowing you're you.

 

You have many great qualities, so please focus on those. Not about how unlovable, unwanted and doomed you are.

We are what we believe in. Stop dating and spend at least 3-4 months focusing on yourself. It'll be good for you.