trickshotmen24 Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Hello everyone! This is my first time on here and I'm using my phone so forgive me for how this is formatted. I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read this, comment, etc. Anyways I'm making this post about my girlfriend and I. Sunday made 11 months that we've been dating. I'm going to be a Freshmen in college, but she is only going to be a Sophomore in high school. So, here is what I want to talk about. There has been both good and bad in our relationship. Since we've dated(especially early on) there have been times that we were like a power couple. Never cheated on each other, we've shown our love vividly, told each other secrets and trusted each other. I could go on, and I know that sounds great and all, but sadly it's not. Every guy that my girlfriend has dated in the past apparently broke up with my girlfriend because of her mom. That being said I told myself I would never break up with her because of family. The thing is at times she has let her mom rub off on her.. Her Mom is crazy. When we first started dating and to this day her mom buys me a bunch of stuff almost trying to keep my locked in the family. My girlfriend would say she felt bad because she didn't want me to think that they were buying my love. Next all her mom does is ask if I'm going to break up with her daughter when I go to college. She's even said she would be mad if I broke up with her. Now here's how her mom has rubbed off on her. First, her mom has affected her trust for me. When I went on Senior Trip her mom would tell her I'm going to cheat on her. Several times her mom has told her that and she's told her I'm going to mess around with this girl I used to date some before I started dating my girlfriend. I've talked with my girlfriend about it, but she always says her mom is the one who makes her feel bad and she's always fine until her mom says something. Next, her mom is so negative that it makes my girlfriend negative. This happened a lot last month. My girlfriend would say negative things about me to my face just to make me feel bad. She would apologize later, but it got old. So, we talked it out and that had not been a problem since. The bad thing is it's always something else. Like yesterday she started talking about how when you have sex(we have) with someone for the first time you will always compare them to the first. I'm sitting there like wow she really is insecure about me leaving her. She has recently mentioned marriage and that sort of thing to me and I'm thinking to myself that there is no way I could marry her with that crazy if a family(mainly her mom). Her mom always talks about me marrying her daughter too and a lot of it has to do with the fact that she got married in a month of dating her husband. Next, my girlfriend has mainly guy friends and I used to trust her with everything, but now I'm confused why she can't have more girl friends. I barely talk to girls anymore thanks to her. She explained to me how all the women in her life like her grandma and mom treat her like crap and she has a better connection with guys and it made me feel bad. It seems like everything she does goes back to her negative family. I feel like I can't blame it on her, but at the same time it rubs off on her, but she always apologizes and recognizes her mistake. Like with her immaturity. She acts so childish and annoying sometimes like I hate to say that I wonder what it would be like dating a girl my age or just hanging out with girls my age again. I really miss it sometimes, but like I said I feel bad and just want to love my girlfriend. I will be going to college soon though and that may be the end of us. Seeing all the other girls there at my orientation made it hard too, but I fight it. So guys do you all have any advice? Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socalgal94 Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 I feel like she wouldn't let her family or mom get in her head if she really wants your relationship to work. Maybe she needs to spend less time at home to clear her mind. Maybe you two need to sit down some more and talk about it. If you really want to be with her then reassure her that you do and you won't let anyone get in between you guys. Your young and she's young so it's easier to let people get inside your head. You can also suggest some time off and still remain exclusive to her until things seem to get better if not. Don't put yourself through it. This sucks! I'm sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trickshotmen24 Posted June 21, 2017 Author Share Posted June 21, 2017 Thank you so much. I talked to her today. We stared off having a good day, but apparently her mom has been treating her bad all day. She buys food for herself and everything but won't ask her if she wants anything. She gets mentally abused and called names and so much more. It then rubs off. My girlfriend would argue with her mom today then get mad at me over silly stuff and we got mad at each other. We talked about it after and she has cried all day because of her mom. She said that she promises this time she won't be mean to me. She said," I'm turning into my mom" and started crying. I feel so bad. I feel like it's my responsibility to help her, but there's nothing I can do. She is so stressed and it makes me stressed. I'm like her only hope. I'm afraid if we ever broke up she would try to kill her self or something. I'm sorry for the rant I'm just lost Thanks for responding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 You are not going to marry this girl and staying with her now when you're clearly looking forward to being single in college is insane. Do not stay with her just because you're afraid she'll hurt herself if you leave. If you are really concerned that she will do that then when you break up with her give her the telephone number of a crises hotline and that of a good psychologist who will hopefully help her to form some personal boundaries that she won't let her mother cross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trickshotmen24 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 Thank you for the response. I can do that, but one more thing I forgot to mention. This was my first real relationship and why I got so attached is because all the girls I've tried to get with in the pass did me wrong or didn't like me anymore. I'm more confident now though, but thanks for the input it helps a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trickshotmen24 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 Also, so I just need to wait in case we break up to give her the hotline #? I just wish she could at least get some help now. At the same time I don't want her to get upset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShatteredMan Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 She's your first real girlfriend. You just happened to get the one that had more baggage than you. Its not your job to "fix" anyone nor is it to carry their baggage. It is difficult to leave people, things and situations behind when you have feelings involved, but in a way, we should learn lessons from what we've been through and reward ourselves by moving on. You're going off to college and you'll be surrounded by plenty of girls. Because you've seen what you've seen, you'll recognize red flags with girls that either don't have much interest (move on!) or girls who have interest because they have emotional problems and need someone to support their out-of-control lives. You'll see these signs and know to steer clear. Its up to your girlfriend to decide when she's ready for help with her situation. There's little that you can do at this point except deciding when YOU have had enough of this. Don't let this girl and her situation ruin your college experience! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trickshotmen24 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 Thank you so much. You have made some great points. Like you said, the toughest thing is having the feelings attached to her. It's not my job to fix anything you're right. When the time comes I just have to be strong and move on. Thanks for the advice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trickshotmen24 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 Whenever that day comes I just want to make sure I end it the right way and we end on good terms if possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.