Lilbirdie Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 Hi, I recently found out that my fiance (together for two years) has recently created several dating profiles. I was using his computer to check my email as I usually do and saw that he not only had an active Plenty of Fish account stating he was single and looking for a relationship, but had sent many messages to women, about twenty total. Most of the messages were him asking them out "tomorrow night", "this weekend", etc. (It just happened to be the weekend when I was out of town). Only one of the messages had gotten a reply, she messaged him back saying hi and he asked if he could come over to her house for sex (in the middle of the night when I was out of town!). She turned him down. I was so hurt and in such shock that I started moving out right after I saw the messages. After I had moved out, I agreed to meet with him to talk and I asked him if he was on any other dating sites. He said no. Well, of course I checked! And I found many more profiles. Tinder, Bumble, Christian Mingle, Zoosk, Match, Eharmony, and also a prostitute review site. All saying single, looking for a relationship, all created recently, while he was with me. Engaged to me, mind you! I confronted him about it, asked to see any other messages. On the other sites beside Plenty of Fish, he didn't send or receive any messages, just had the active profiles. He is deeply apologetic and wants me back. He said that he never actually intended on meeting anyone or cheating. That he was just doing it for kicks, to feel better about himself, to feel attractive, ease his insecurity, etc. We had both agreed early on in the relationship that any type of infidelity is unacceptable. Even though I have no evidence of physical cheating, it's the betrayal and the lying that kills me. I find it very hard to believe that he didn't intend on meeting them when he was so specific asking them out "tomorrow night" "this weekend" during the time I was out of town. He was supposed to be my husband and future father of my kids. Part of me wants to consider going to counseling together, but part of me feels like the trust is ruined and if I go back I might eventually end up screwed over if he did it again, because we both really want kids, so if we get back together, we will definitely have kids shortly after we get married. I don't want to be stuck with a cheating husband with kids down the road, but it kills me to just give up on the relationship. My brain tells me to go, but my heart tells me to stay. My biggest fear is that he would be on his best behavior until we officially got married and started having kids, and then get bored and insecure and return to his old behavior. Any advice would be appreciated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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