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Ex told added my mom on Facebook and told her she still has feelings for me.

Darthzak

By Darthzak
in Getting Back Together

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Darthzak Contributor

Darthzak

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Hi guys, I'm going to minimize the posting alot now. I apologize for the spamming of threads. Anyway my ex returned my text yadi yada. Backstory again we are 20 year olds and were together for nearly 4 years. Graduated high school together and starting attending different colleges (I'm also enlisting into the Military). Anywho few days ago my ex added my mom on Facebook. My mom didn't add her. They FaceTime and my dad told me that your mom added your ex on Facebook. We've been apart for about 3 months and haven't contacted since this past Tuesday. They FaceTime and she tells my mom she still has feelings for me. I don't want to overanalyze but at this moment what really should I do?

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WombatShadow Community Regular

WombatShadow

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Unfortunately, she didn't tell you. If you come straight out and confront her, she might just cut off contact with you and your mother. However, I would take this as a sign that she's interested in you and therefore my recommendation is to get in touch with her and see if she's interested in hanging out. Go from there.

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Darthzak Contributor

Darthzak

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Unfortunately, she didn't tell you. If you come straight out and confront her, she might just cut off contact with you and your mother. However, I would take this as a sign that she's interested in you and therefore my recommendation is to get in touch with her and see if she's interested in hanging out. Go from there.

I'm just trying to figure out what to say. I'd much rather start friendly and maybe take her to a movie or out to coffee. (Catch up etc) I'd never confront her over that. That'll make it awkward!

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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Obviously she did all that so it would get to him... also obviously he wants to try again... why are you advising him to stay broken up?

 

If she truly wants him back - she needs to pull her big girl pants up and call him. She was not dating his parents or cousins or friends. If she won't do that, then she really doesn't want him back badly enough. If someone behaves like this - it may be a sign that they are immature or don't like to face the music. To have an adult relationship and not a high school one like they had, you need to be mature enough to settle things with the person that they need to be settled with and not try to coax their family into sending a feeler out. Its no longer a case where you can pass notes in class.

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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They're only 20! You think he should over look a chance to get with a woman he likes because she wasn't direct?

 

Yes. When I was 20/21, men didn't call my parents to tell them how charming and lovely i was in hopes that it got back to me so i'd run into their arms. If she wants to date him, she needs to be a big girl and call him up herself. Also, "missing someone" is normal when a relationship ends. She did NOT say "i want to get back together with him", btw.

 

Also, if he is in the military, it takes more than sad puppy eyes at the parents to get back together. She has to be willing to step up and be okay with a long distance relationship and be okay with being a military wife down the road. if she is not up for that, it doesn't matter how much she misses him. Missing is just missing. He needs to go through his training and establish himself and she needs to finish school or trade school too and see who they grow into.

 

So - like what was said before - he should file that away for now and continue on with his training in the meantime.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Okay, but they are broken up now and he is going the military. That does not bode well for getting back together. Even solid relationships in the military can falter. I am a military spouse of over 2 decades and it is HARD even if you have a rock solid relationship .

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Darthzak Contributor

Darthzak

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I guess I just feel that when people want advice in the "getting back together" section they're looking for advice on how to do that. If they're way off telling them so is fine but I'm not getting that from what he posted here

Glad you see eye to eye with me.

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Darthzak Contributor

Darthzak

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Okay, but they are broken up now and he is going the military. That does not bode well for getting back together. Even solid relationships in the military can falter. I am a military spouse of over 2 decades and it is HARD even if you have a rock solid relationship .

Even the toughest ones falter yes. But it's true love that keeps those close.

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Darthzak Contributor

Darthzak

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True love doesn't keep things afloat always. That is Hollywood stuff. A real marriage is hard work .

Wasn't saying I was going to marry my ex. I'm just talking about getting back to know her again and inch my way into her life. I mean I was with this girl since I was a sophomore in high school. Just saying!

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Wasn't saying I was going to marry my ex. I'm just talking about getting back to know her again and inch my way into her life. I mean I was with this girl since I was a sophomore in high school. Just saying!

Just because you were in high school together doesn't mean you'll end up in a relationship or stay together . Heck , my parents met when they were 15 , married at 18 and divorced at 25. First love is no guarantee it will be starry unicorns and love conquers all.

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Darthzak Contributor

Darthzak

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I guess I just feel that when people want advice in the "getting back together" section they're looking for advice on how to do that. If they're way off telling them so is fine but I'm not getting that from what he posted here

Update sent a text and reached out and said if you want to meet up for coffee sometime and I'm glad to see your pursuing your certificate. I reached out now just wait and see what she wants to do with it.

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