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Spoke to my ex

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So I ended my 8 month relationship about a month ago, been having very mixed feelings since, a lot of the time I've thought about possible regret at the ending it.


We'd not had any contact until Sunday when I text him about his clothes. He since responded saying he wanted to meet to get some closure. I didn't think meeting would be a good idea at this stage, so suggested a phone call, which he took the opportunity immediately.


We spoke for about 15 minutes, him saying that he didn't want us never to speak again, that as one day turned into another and I hadn't called, that he wasnt expecting to hear from me again so when I did make contact he took the first opportunity to speak to me. He says he's still got some of my things to remind him of me. He's got lots going on with his family at the moment and isn't dating. He didn't ask me whether I was dating, but he wanted to check I was ok and getting on with my life. He said he's sorry that things ended the way they did. He said he will always be there at the end of the phone if I ever need anything.


I guess part of me was hoping/thinking he would say he really misses me and wants to try to work things out. Is that why I feel so upset about it? Because he didn't say those words?


I guess I'm wondering whether you think he still has any feelings for me ?


Any views appreciated

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He said he wanted to meet to get closure and you turned him down. I think you would have had your chance to find out if he was interested, but you aren't even sure that's what you want. What did you say to him during the phone conversation? Unfortunately, you will have to take the chance to find out if he's interested. It sounds like he is open to contact, but you need to decide what you really want first.


You dumped him for letting you down and not thinking of you. What did that look like?

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We had a LDR, didn't get to see each other apart from weekends really and occasionally during the week, but often he would cancel. He says he is sorry it didn't work out and that he didn't get to see me as much as he wanted due to circumstances out of his control - I'm assuming he's meaning he couldn't find a job nearer to me immediately. Given that we didn't see each other a whole lot, I hoped the time we had together would have been a priority for him, but despite us talking about it many times, I didn't really feel top of his list- he would put himself and his mates before me. His mates live closely to him. He would make plans with me and then change them at the last minute, when I had cleared space in my diary to make sure we could spend some quality time together.


On the phone he said that he stands by taking the girl out as we was just helping her, and he wouldn't change that. I didn't really know what to say, as he was the one who initiated meeting/speaking to each other, so I felt I should let him say what he wanted to say. He wanted to make peace and make sure that I didn't hate him, and to let me know that he would always be there if I needed him. He said the option was always there. I said I was getting on ok, things were going well etc. I didn't say too much about how I felt, so on reflection perhaps I gave the impression that I wasn't interested at all, when I fact I was trying to find out where he is with things. I asked him about what's been going on in his life and he was quite open about it all.


I also have to remember that it must have taken a lot for him to say what he said without getting much of a reaction from me. Given that he is a man and would have been unlikely to outpour all his emotions on the phone, I may have been a bit harsh on him on reflection

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So you think something has changed where he will actually make time for you now or are have you just decided that you are okay with sporadic meetings, and him putting himself and friends first?


To me, it looks like all the problems that caused you to resent him are still there. Honestly he sounds kind of indifferent about it all, but maybe I'm interpreting the conversation wrong, or maybe he's just putting up a front. Either way I don't see this arrangement working for you. This is, what it is.

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