Ran into my ex after 17 years

[Ivy101]

Hi, I need a little advice as I recently ran into my ex from 17 years ago! We were young, very much in love but it didn't end well (my fault) and he moved on pretty quickly and hasn't really spoken to me since. He's now married with kids and I've got on with my life too and have a partner. We've bumped into each other over the years but never really had a conversation. This time was different, we chatted away for ages and got caught up on life events. He said we should catch up when I'm next free and we left it at that. Is this an invitation for me to arrange meeting up? I'd like to catch up, but as friends only. I thought it was weird that he'd suggest it, a bit out of character for him, particularly as he's married. Any advice would be welcome.

[mustlovedogs]

IMO, you seem too eager for this meeting. You say you want it to be as friends only but you're obviously overthinking who should reach out. Be honest - do you want to catch up because seeing him was exciting?

[RainyCoast]

so... a taken woman would meet to catch up, as friends, but a taken man meeting to catch up surely has more in mind?

 

unless you know it is in his character?

 

how badly do you want to "catch up" anyway? just skip if you are uncomfortable.

[RainyCoast]

i can't think of a goddamn reason i would be interested in catching up.

 

how is the relationship?

 

(has your partner offered an opinion on the suggestion to catch up?)

[Ivy101]

It was a little exciting and there was always a tension there when we met in the past, which I put down to our rather turbulent past! I've no intention of ever pursuing a romantic relationship, I'm happy with my partner and I live 300 miles away (I was visiting family in the area). It was just so out of character for him. No interest in catching up for many years and then this. I am perhaps over thinking it and have the option of not reaching out.

[Ivy101]

Not at all no, it's just he's not expressed any interest at all in catching up ever. I don't know if it's in his character as it's been such a long time since we last really had a conversation.

[RainyCoast]

would it take a lot of effort and planning on your part to meet, since you live far away now?

[kbbcoop77]

Oh God just no. You're both with other people right? Barf.