Enjoying alone time?

[isaac96]

Hello! I've been dating my wonderful boyfriend for a bit over half a year now and he recently asked for some alone time. He has never brought this up before and has generally been very eager to spend time with me. It is conflicting me, because on one hand I want to give him all the space he needs and show respect for him, and let him socially recover. On the other hand I want so spend as much time as possible with him this summer because I feel like I've let our time slip through my fingers. We met at the school we both attended, but he is three years older than me and just graduated, while I remain there. After this summer things will change, and we will probably not see each other as often as we previously have. This is why I want to be with him all the time nowadays. Is there a compromise? How do I not let my own subsequent alone time go to waste? How do I occupy myself as to not bother him? How do I distract myself from missing him immensely much? Is this the beginning of a conflict or breakup?

 

TL;DR: My boyfriend wants alone time and I don't know how to give it to him. What do?

[j.man]

How often have you two usually been hanging out? When you're apart, are you trying to maintain more or less constant communication?

[isaac96]

Usually we hang out daily. We practically live together, so we spend most of days together. We maintain contact through text and social media when we are apart!

[catfeeder]

I want to give him all the space he needs and show respect for him, and let him socially recover.

 

What about you own social life? You sound at risk of suffocating him, and if he's the center of your world, that will do it. I'd use this time to pursue some interests and friends of my own. Otherwise, you've got an unhealthy dependency, and BF won't put up with that for long.

[Batya33]

He doesn't need to "socially recover" or at least don't assume that. He wants time to himself. That's normal. Give him twice the amount of space he seems to need so that he sees that you are independent and respectful of his need for alone time.

 

There's no such thing as alone time going to waste in the sense that you don't have to pressure yourself to spend it wisely. Stay in touch with how you're feeling and you'll know. And, be proactive as Catfeeder suggested -strike a balance between not feeling like you have to spend it wisely and being mindful of not confusing alone and "lonely" -if you feel lonely, it's time to be proactive -baby steps!