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Unsent Letter to Ex


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She finally contacted me (email) after almost 4 months hard NC with a few unsolicited updates on her life and also if I wanted to hang out with her and her best friend at some point ... to let her know.


I didn't respond to this friend-zone request but here is what I would have liked to have sent...


Dearest Ex

I was clearly lulled into a false sense of security about the solidness of our connection... with you often suggesting "one of these days when you move in this" & "one of these days when you move in .. that".


Based on the above false sense of security, even though we never formalized a plan, I really felt that we'd stay with one another & grow old together in peaceful harmony and that one day we would both sell our homes and buy something together. Boy was I wrong! I had some doubts early in our relationship but I worked through them on my own and I really came to love you more and more with each passing season. Your dissatisfaction final email and all its very specific points were in my opinion nothing insurmountable with some work thrown in by the two of us. Now we have nothing between us... What a horrible shame that you derailed us from our lifes trajectory and torpedoed our relationship all with the precept that there was nobody waiting in the wings. This I have a huge problem with... 1. because I have lived through this exact situation before (and they always lie that there's nobody else on the horizon) and 2. because I know you well and that you cannot be alone for 2 bloody seconds without climbing the walls. and 3. because I accidently saw you spilling your guts comlaining about me to your orbiter friend on Facebook chat last fall and him asking you to let him know "when" you are single. REALLY "WHEN" not "IF"... I was so stunned that you would go outside the relationship to discuss our issues (basically and emotional affair) that I chose not to confront you about it on the spot and also because I needed time to absorb the shock. I resolved that it may have been wishful thinking on his part but for you to initiate such a discussion you really caused me to lose respect for you at that point. I guess it was all downhill from there.


After 7 years of loving & dedication to us as a couple I guess what I'm trying to say is that I had no agency in the end with you selfishly ended things in a 3 minute one-way conversation as if you were late for a bus and I was making you late. No respect and very undignified.


I just wanted you to know that I consider you a dishonest, selfish, cold hearted devious liar for the way you conducted yourself and that is not a person I can respect or remain friends with. Sorry but NO you don't get to choose which parts to throw away and which ones to keep around.

Have a nice life.

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Good on you for letting out the anger here bro, and by the sounds of it there is more to come. Keep letting it out and also go on you for not replying to her contact. No need to let her know what's going on in your head and no point being friends. There will be plenty of time to be friends in 10 years when the relationship is a distant memory.

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