Bob2526 Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 I've posted my situation on here. 6 months since the break up, almost 4 months no contact. Her birthday is coming up and I've always looked at this day when I would text her if I felt indifference. I'm not there yet. I still care for her. I honestly believe I would be okay with any or no response but I've been doing so well. She hasn't text or called me and has been seeing someone, I just always thought that not sending a text would definitely shut down any chance at reconciliation even though I think we weren't compatible. Maybe I'm not a spiteful person and want to wish her well. I don't know. Any suggestions? Link to comment
Bob2526 Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 She gave me the best birthday ever last year and maybe that's why I want to send her a message. I truly believe after this day I would finally be whole for some reason. Link to comment
MyLifeMyChoice Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 She's already seeing someone. I wouldn't send the text if I were you. The difference between her giving you the best birthday ever last year was that you were together. You're no longer together, so it's time to move on. Link to comment
nsolo Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 "... I just always thought that not sending a text would definitely shut down any chance at reconciliation even though I think we weren't compatible." Sending her a birthday message is weak. I went through a phase when I was a nice guy like that, and how embarrassing. She's going to be hitting the sack with her new boyfriend not thinking for a second about your birthday text, if you send her one. Live and let live. And believe me when I say that your best bet of her contacting you and wanting reconciliation is if you don't contact her. Not contacting her has a higher chance of making her curious than contacting her, so it's a win-win, if you can stay off the text machine. Link to comment
Careerchoice Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 I just always thought that not sending a text would definitely shut down any chance at reconciliation even though I think we weren't compatible. Don't believe this. You not sending her a text will not change the ultimate outcome. You need to stay out of contact until you stop assuming the burden of keeping any hope alive. Keep talking to other girls. They can give you exactly what your ex gave you plus more. Link to comment
Bob2526 Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 Sex is fleeting and I've been seeing someone else but it still sucks. I've been doing so much better but she still lingers in my mind. Is it strange that a specific date could help me get over her? Just thought early on after the break up we would be back together. I am in a so much better place. It's my first my heart break maybe that's why I'm thinking like this. I know everything will be fine either way. Link to comment
missing003 Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Sex is fleeting and I've been seeing someone else but it still sucks. I've been doing so much better but she still lingers in my mind. Is it strange that a specific date could help me get over her? Just thought early on after the break up we would be back together. I am in a so much better place. It's my first my heart break maybe that's why I'm thinking like this. I know everything will be fine either way. Don't do it. I had the same exact feelings as you last month when my ex's birthday came up. I wished her a happy birthday and got a pretty normal response of "thank you!" Nothing else. I knew right then it was a mistake. I cut all ties very shortly after and have been no contact ever since. My birthday was this past Saturday and guess what, she didn't text me or wish me happy birthday. To be honest I was a little bummed. But also happy at the same time because I knew I was holding true to my no contact and nothing is going to stop me from healing as hard as it is. Just keep going as you have been and don't look back. Link to comment
Careerchoice Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Don't rush your healing. It's not a race. Keep doing exactly what you've been doing and you'll eventually heal. It happens every time with guys who have your frame of mind. Believe it or not, you're in a good place to get through this. It's only a matter of time. Link to comment
Bob2526 Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 I'm truly grateful for all the responses. I can't put into words how thankful I am for everyone who's helped me through one of of my toughest time in my life. 2009 was probably the worst year of my life and I learned how to get through adversity. I'm 34 years old and was never in love and to have my heart torn into pieces almost did me in. I mean I had thoughts and I won't go there but I'm sure y'all get it. I really am in a better place. Dating and being a better person helps. I never had feeling for anyone like this. I will admit that I know how and not to be in a relationship. I came to visit home 600 miles away to visit my family. It wasn't planned, A family friend passed but it's been nice to see people who truly care about what I've been up to. I know I posted this and I've responded to others just know "don't worry about a thing cause every little thing is going to be all right" sorry I've been drinking a little bit. Thanks to you all. Link to comment
saluk Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Her birthday is coming up and I've always looked at this day when I would text her if I felt indifference. Looking forward to a day in which you will feel indifferent is a kind of hope that can get you through some of the hard days. Looking forward to when you will be better. But it can also lead to anxious thoughts, especially when you realize you aren't there yet when you so want to be. Maybe it is time to let go of this idea that on some magical day you will be texting her and not feel the pull of the past. The day when you truly don't feel that pull is the day that you also don't have a need to get back in touch. I don't think it can ever show up if you hold on to the idea of reconciliation. Letting go doesn't make you spiteful, and if you aren't compatible is actually the kindest thing you can do. Give her this beautiful birthday present of no contact, and reap the rewards yourself at the same time. Link to comment
Bob2526 Posted June 14, 2017 Author Share Posted June 14, 2017 Made it through the day and did not send a text! Thanks for the responses again. Link to comment
Careerchoice Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 Good job that really is something to be proud about. Link to comment
Dominique Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 Made it through the day and did not send a text! Thanks for the responses again. Good for you!! I know that was hard. Link to comment
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