I can't shake this feeling of emptiness

[Grad17]

Ever since I graduated high school I occasionally have this feeling of emptiness inside. I start to crave being emotionally and physically close to someone (not in a sexual way.) I had been politely turned down by my crush about 4 months ago, we are still good friends and I try not to think about my feelings for her, but I can't help but feel these feelings for her. She had left the door open for a relationship in the future, as she was busy with school and trying to find work, and I want to ask her out but make sure she knows that she wouldn't hurt me if she decided it wasn't right after we tried it. I just think it's too soon, and that she might have been trying to let me off easy.

 

There is also another girl that's always been really nice to me, and we have a lot of common interests, but I would never ask her out for two reasons. The first is that my best friend has a crush on her and I would never want to hurt his feeling. The second is that I think my crush might think that my feelings for her were just me wanting a girlfriend, and that I was just chasing girls.

 

On top of that, the heartache isn't caused by not having a social life. I have friends I hang out with from time to time, and talk to over the phone almost daily. And I have many online friends through video games. This pain isn't helped by doing those things, I still end up feeling like I'm missing something, or someone. The most I can do is try to distract myself with exercise or video games.

 

I struggle because the heartache hurts whenever the emptiness starts, but it would hurt more to hurt my friends. I was hoping someone could give me some pointers on how to lessen the pain. I start a new job soon so I'll have another thing to distract me from it, but I can't distract myself all the time.

 

Post Script:

For anyone who is reading who is worried about this stuff, I don't have chronic depression and have never thought about self harm. I'm just a man who feels he's missing a piece of his heart.

[blindfold]

You need to get active about dating if that's what you want. Get on tinder, on dating websites, whatever, and create a dating profile, go on a few dates, let loose a bit! It seems you're way too young to be feeling like you have to commit to someone you already know - just go out there and have fun. I'm not saying having promiscuous sex if that's not what you're into, I'm just saying maybe you'll get to meet someone other than these 2 women you mentioned. Please remember that you can make someone your soulmate by loving them and being devoted to them, but there are PLENTY of people who will be your soulmates. It's about how you treat the relationship, not about some mysterious cosmic power that determines there's only one person out there for you. Relax and enjoy your dates!

[Grad17]

I understand what you're saying, but what I'm feeling isn't just wanting to have a girlfriend. I want someone to be close to,and even if I did do what you said I live in a small town where if you meet someone new you probably know someone they know. I just don't think it would work for me. Thank you for your supportive words though.