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Jetta

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OK I'm recovered from a breakdown. I'm broke. Back at mom's. Lost everything. So rebuilding. Met a semi-famous guy online indirectly through facebook. He wants to meet. I even feel ugly these days. Lost some weight which is good but my clothes don't fit right. I can't afford anything really broke. My hair is awful lately i even fried my bangs.

 

He wants to send me a car. I only needed to pay the delivery fee. Well he sent me a check to cover it and more. Remember ex totally abused my credit. Bank is verifying the check which is taking a week because I just opened an account. The banker called first to see if they could open it, said not to use it, i have by depositing the check. But i couldn't cash the check too large for this neck of the woods. Guy was hoping to be here this weekend and if all was smooth he would be. But lots off glitches. Lots. We've been in communication since March.

 

I don't want him to think I'm blowing him off. I totally want to move forward I can't even believe it's been so challenging to meet. I also can't believe he's dealt with my recovery the messages I must have sent. He's very busy. His time is tightly scheduled. But we chat almost daily, video chat, rare phone call. I keep saying things like God's timing, but what else can I say? I'm dying to meet him he said his gifts have to arrive before he does. Which bugs me because it's been so challenging. But I get there's a reason for it.

 

Really pissed him off when my family said he was a scam to him on video chat. I was supposed to pay the nominal delivery fee. He got tired of waiting. Oh yeah I'm trying to show I'm not totally dependant and have an interview Tuesday. Though therapy I'm learning I'm a codependent type. Um they'd teach me how not to be but its a 6 month program and a job which gives me what I need; income, would mean I can't make that therapy. I hear there's another one though. Also he wants to whisk me away he says.

 

I prayed about it. Good things. Minus homesickness. But I'll get through it. He knows all probably too much. But I wanted to be honest.

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I would take a long, long, long break from dating and the need to be with a man, or finding a man. Take some time off and get yourself sorted out in all aspects, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially etc etc. All these things need to be taken care of before there can be success and a healthy relationship in general (imo).

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Well I can't end it. I'm already involved. And giddy with love most days except right now because of the conditions on his arrival. Which I admit it would be really hard to go to a virtual strangers home. Besides what you're saying are basically my life goals.

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Your family is right!

 

This story has so many holes in it! Does common sense tell you that someone who is sending you a car cannot pay the delivery fee. C'mon. You can't be that gullible.

 

It doesn't sound like you learned from the last experience. Wake up!

 

Focus on a job and getting your life together, not this nonsense. And, stay away from men for a long while.

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Yeah, once you send that "delivery fee" you'll never hear from him again. And that check he sent you will never clear, then you'll be stuck with a bad check fee from your bank.

 

That's such a common scam I'm surprised you don't know about it.

 

Then again, a woman I work with sent money to a Nigerian prince. Another one married a man so he could stay in the country. She hasn't seen him in over two years.

 

These people prey on lonely women. Please do not do any more financial transactions for this guy!

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Jetta is this why you needed $2000, as per your previous thread?

 

Agree! On May 30th you needed $2000 because you life depended on it.... if this is why you need it then wow...

This is a scam, wake up! The last guy already took your money, everyone warned you abbot that as well but you went ahead with him anyway, so i feel you won't listen this time either.

But remember if something sounds too good to be true it usually is.

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This is how the scam works:

 

The person offers to buy you a car/rent your spare room/rent you an apartment. They will send you a check for more than the amount of the car/deposit/down payment. All they want you to do is send them the extra amount (in cash, of course!) or pay a processing or delivery fee (payable to them, of course!).

 

Then, after you send them the money they disappear. And of course the original check they sent bounces, so you're out the "extra" amount plus the delivery fee plus your bank will fine you for depositing a bad check.

 

It seems you are extremely susceptible to scams and scam artists. Do you think this is because you badly want to be loved? Or to be rescued?

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Girl, come on now.

 

This is clearly a scam. Nobody "sends" a car to a stranger they met online. And if they did, and were who they claim to be, they would be paying the delivery fee.

 

This guy is not who you believe he is. You're going to get yourself in trouble if you go along with this, because the bank will be coming to you for the money when that cheque bounces - note I said when it bounces, not if.

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Oh no...

 

I got about three sentences into this and I knew -- just knew -- what it was.

 

This guy is running a con on you. He knows you're vulnerable, and desperate for love. He's taking advantage of that big time.

 

Aren't you familiar with this scam? It's a pretty common one -- just takes on different forms, depending on the person -- but it's everywhere. In fact, some people on this very site have posted about falling for it.

 

Here's what's going to happen: The check will take forever to clear. In the meantime, you will have sent him money. Then, your bank will call you with the news that the check is either drawn on a fake account (or worse, that the account is stolen) OR that the account is closed OR that the account has no money in it -- some variation on one of these. You will be out the money you sent him, and you will never hear from him again. It's likely that he is running this scam on a number of different lonely women in different places -- places remote from where he lives, so he can conveniently keep his distance while he scams them -- and he's making money off of whomever will send it to him.

 

Jetta, your family AND strangers on the Internet are telling you this is a bad, bad idea. The fact that it's not just your family (because I know how easy it is to dismiss their concerns with "my family is just trying to interfere with my happiness" or "my family members are paranoid" or "they're just trying to control me," or whatever), those of us here on ENA have NO stake in this -- we don't even know you -- and we're saying the same thing. How many people does it take telling you that this is a bad idea for you to realize that this is a really bad idea?

 

Of course you're giddy, you have developed feelings, etc. That's EXACTLY what this guy is banking (literally!) on. That's exactly how this scam works, and some of these con artists will spend MONTHS, even a year, pursuing someone they think they can con. As I mentioned before, he's probably doing this to others as well, so if things fall through with you, there's another one right around the corner.

 

I'm sorry, but....you've been through this before, and look what it did to you! You are, by your own admission, broke, living with your mom, with whom you've had a contentious relationship. It's tempting to use relationships to escape our circumstances, but you've done that before, to your own detriment. My question to you is this: When are you going to start acting in your own best interests? When are you going to start looking out for yourself?

 

This is all very troubling. I have a feeling you'll proceed with this anyway, and all we can do here is know that we warned you about it. I hope you'll reconsider.

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Girl, come on now.

 

This is clearly a scam. Nobody "sends" a car to a stranger they met online. And if they did, and were who they claim to be, they would be paying the delivery fee.

 

This guy is not who you believe he is. You're going to get yourself in trouble if you go along with this, because the bank will be coming to you for the money when that cheque bounces - note I said when it bounces, not if.

 

Yes -- I forgot to mention this in my post -- they'll come after you, for sure, and if you can't pay them, they'll send you to collections (I was once threatened with collections when a scammer roommate of mine in college wrote me a bad check); and, worse, if they think you're part of the scam, depending on the amount, you could be in trouble with the law, to boot, for fraud, and I can guarantee you this guy will be nowhere in sight -- he will have vanished off the face of the earth.

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Jetta,

 

Please. You are about to dig yourself into an even deeper financial hole by falling for a very common fraud - actually this one is a combination of two frauds - the check cashing scam coupled with the "you get this wonderful prize/thing and just have to pay the delivery fees for it." My mother fell for the delivery fee scam again and again. In her case it wasn't a car sent by some romantic interest. It was the "You've won $2,000 in the lottery (although she never paid the lottery) so please pay us $100.00 for a delivery fee to collect your earnings." And she did this to the tune of nearly $2,000 before I caught on and shut it all down after finding out my lovely mother was developing Alzheimer's and getting scammed on this routine over and over. And no, there were never any lottery earnings. None of the people involved even existed. And they were all overseas, so no costs could be recovered.

 

The check fraud scam. You need to read about it here: And then you need to walk into your bank or call them in the morning and tell them to rip up the check, that it's a fraud. And right now hopefully after reading this you will block and delete this guy then go see your therapist and talk to them about how to proof yourself up not to be vulnerable for yet another scammer.

 

Come on Jetta, think the thought through. He's preying on your desperation. It's what con artists do. Even if someone famous were interested in you never having met you, not knowing what you look like or anything about you, they'd order a car locally from the dealership in your town. They wouldn't ship a car from overseas, don't care how good they say the deal is on the car they've got, and they'd have you go pick the car up. IF they were really going to do that.

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Go to your bank (in person) and explain you are the victim of a scam. Ask them to pull back that check.

 

Then, if you've already sent the "delivery fee" stop payment on it if it was a check. If you sent cash or a money order, unfortunately you're out of luck.

 

BTW, a watermark isn't a guarantee a check is legit. I could make a watermark using a decent quality laser printer. There are even fake government checks. Google "check fraud" for more information.

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