Rust Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 Before anything hello every I'm back after a long break from relationships. Today I'm going to get straight to the point and any questions feel free to ask. So I've being seeing some one for 2 months and last night I asked her to define what's going on between us. she asked me to give her a week to think due to work... (I was straight up I don't like to be mucked around but I said take the time you need to think.) So I've got a two questions one being the situation one being about the talk. 1) did I handle this situation the best? 2) Defining the relationship is it really necessary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeetsun Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 I really don't understand why she needs a week to figure out the definition of the relationship. It's a pretty simple answer. Either you two got something going between the two of you or you don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seanryder Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Who cares what label she puts on it?......are you having fun?.....if you are keep doing so.....don't get bogged down in labels!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsolo Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 "So I've being seeing some one for 2 months and last night I asked her to define what's going on between us" From my experience, leave relationship talk to the woman. The woman is traditionally, in my opinion, the best one to bring up the "where is this going" conversations. Not the guy. Of course some women want the guy to bring it up, but if you think about that, a woman who likes a guy is never going to get fed up with a guy SHE LIKES because he hasn't asked "Where is this going?" For example, a past girlfriend of mine said (before we were officially exclusive) something along the lines of, "This has been really great, and I've really enjoyed this time we've spent together, but unless we're going to be more than just hang-out buddies, I can't keep doing this." So ultimately, I would say you didn't handle the situation the best, and no, defining the relationship is not necessary right now. Let's hope that you didn't scare her off with this talk, and if you keep seeing her, don't bring it up again. Let her bring it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsolo Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 I really don't understand why she needs a week to figure out the definition of the relationship. It's a pretty simple answer. Either you two got something going between the two of you or you don't. I think she's subconsciously testing to see if he breaks and becomes impatient, in which case she'll verify that he's not a good guy for her. Of course she wants him to be a good guy for her, but she's not sure right now. I think that if he remains cool and doesn't bring this up again, then he'll pass her test. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careerchoice Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 1) did I handle this situation the best? No. No one needs a week to decide if they want to be with someone. Unless she was literally in the middle of something that needed her immediate attention, you should've demanded an immediate answer. 2) Defining the relationship is it really necessary? It is for you in this case, and that's all that matters. It is reasonable to want the relationship defined though. Then you don't get blindsided if she's seeing someone else and you know if you can see other people too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 So I've got a two questions one being the situation one being about the talk. 1) did I handle this situation the best? Sure, you handled it fine. 2) Defining the relationship is it really necessary? We each get to decide that for ourselves. I learned at a young age that I bond when I have sex, so I'm not cut out for empty sex. That means it's important for me to learn exactly where I stand with someone--and where I want to stand--BEFORE I invest and bond deeply. It's never a 'bad' thing to want clarity about where you stand with someone. The thing is, you'll need to be prepared with your own answer to the question of what you'll do if you don't get the kind of response you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rust Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 Thanks, everyone the advice helped a lot. 1) it's perspective for each person, yes getting an answer then and there would have suited me much better but for her she wanted to weigh her it (she's been through relationship problems) 2) I do need relationships defined as I have trouble separating sex and emotions. I got my reply not by phone call or in person but via text. "Can we just be friends?" (Stings) This has helped me realised that I was more invested then her. Don't really want to reply to her till I've cooled down just a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 I got my reply not by phone call or in person but via text. "Can we just be friends?" (Stings) This has helped me realised that I was more invested then her. Don't really want to reply to her till I've cooled down just a bit. I can appreciate the need to take your own breather. I'd consider carefully whether you want to play friendzies with someone in whom you have a romantic interest. That's not really balanced and equal, so it's not exactly a friendship, either. Head high, and give yourself credit for being brave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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