Trying to Reconcile with my ex scorpio

[treatherbetter]

So i broke up with my ex scorpio of 8 years 4 months ago because he broke my aqua heart.

 

BACKSTORY:

 

we met at age 21 and we were good friends. The chemistry was undeniable to all outsiders and our friends acknowledged the relationship before we did. We remained in denial for a long time and then decided to make it official. The moment it hit FB everyone were either shocked we finally committed to the relationship officially or were so happy.Everything from year 1 to 5 was straight..minor yet hardly any disagreements and we couldn't keep our hands off one another. We were long distance for 1 to 5 years literally but we visited each other frequently and spent full weekends sometime even weeks together all through out school and adult life. The boundaries my ex had was we are each other's best friend, over the time i had to step away from my male friendships so he would be more comfortable so he ended up being my only male friend. At the time i agreed to do this because he didn't have female friends (From what i was aware of).

 

HERE's WHERE THE ISSUE CAME:

 

Near the end of year 5 the financial dynamic changed. I ended up financially carrying the both of us and supporting his career. I didn't have a problem doing so because I love him tremendously. I wanted to hold down the fort until he was able to get completely back up. The problem aroused when we had a falling out over me being overwhelmed and me needing him to do more to pull his weight. This began the downward spiral of the relationship. Ever since this falling out happened he held a grudge and i saw it in his actions towards me. He became distant emotionally and soon physically. It blew my mind like really!???? So with minor sex and emotional stimulation, year 2017 came and I ended up seeing text messages of him flirting with other girls! Girls he worked with and some he doesn't. it pissed me off! So on top of you being disconnected from me,not pulling your weight and not being intimate, you flirting and i can't have male friends oh no! so i broke up with him! it hurt because i want to be with him but he was not giving me what i needed nor did he take my threats seriously. I had to stand tall so he would finally take me serious and stop taking my bluff.

 

HE's BACK:

 

So I broke NC not even a month in to express how hurt i still was but even at that point i was still worried about him and his feelings because i love him still. He didn't entertain the conversation, he sounded like he needed to clear his mind and he said he'd call me back but never did. At that point i assumed it was completely over, time to move on and never look back. Started the healing process and the idea of him not being apart of my life.

 

4 mnths later he initiates contact a couple of times expressing his feelings and his hurt. I was never expecting to hear from him again so this not only caught me off guard but gave me hope we could eventually get this right because we both care and love each other. he even went as far to ask if i was intimate with anyone and i haven't and expressed i wasn't as eager to get back out with just anyone. As soon as i initiate contact he seems real cool and collected and more about doing things that make him happy and going where the wind takes him. I told him how i want to work on us but not forcing back into a relationship but working towards it. He expresses how he doesn't know and we haven't spoke in a week.

 

I then try to contact again because my heart is quite open but he doesn't answer nor returns the call. what is going on?!? was this a mental mind game or does he need time? I'm so confused

[Taanyatiya]

So i broke up with my ex scorpio of 8 years 4 months ago because he broke my aqua heart.

 

Something like this happened to me when the guy I broke up with wanted to know if I was happy in my new life. I ended up telling him that I wasn't and I missed him too much- I think the reply was satisfying enough for him to leave again. So if you ask me maybe he is playing mind games with you or just wanted to see if you will take him back. That was the main motive why he contacted you.

[glitterfingers]

He expressed he was hurt, you guys were together for a long time so that is to be expected. At no point does he appear to have expressed regret that things ended or a desire to work on the relationship and continue it. If he had been continuing the conversation and saying he missed you, then he might have been trying to open up a discussion on whether it's possible to continue. It sounds like he feels it was the right decision to break up. Perhaps he was already looking for a way out when he started texting those other girls. I don't think it was a mind game that he sent you a message to check up on you, men often do come back though not necessarily because they want you back, rather just to clarify things in their mind. Maybe he hated the thought of you being with someone else, but he's enjoying his newfound space.

 

You should go back to no contact, don't break it this time. I am sure this hurts a whole lot but it doesn't sound like he wants to be chased right now. He knows that you want him and if he wants that too he will come back. Until then you should keep your distance

[Hollyj]

First, don't EVER give up platonic friendship for a partner, as this is a red flag

 

Second, you should not have been supporting this guy. Why wasn't he working, or had his family help out: another red flag

 

Third, "Near the end of year 5 the financial dynamic changed. I ended up financially carrying the both of us and supporting his career. I didn't have a problem doing so because I love him tremendously. I wanted to hold down the fort until he was able to get completely back up. The problem aroused when we had a falling out over me being overwhelmed and me needing him to do more to pull his weight. This began the downward spiral of the relationship. Ever since this falling out happened he held a grudge and i saw it in his actions towards me. He became distant emotionally and soon physically. It blew my mind like really!???? So with minor sex and emotional stimulation, year 2017 came and I ended up seeing text messages of him flirting with other girls! Girls he worked with and some he doesn't. it pissed me off! So on top of you being disconnected from me,not pulling your weight and not being intimate, you flirting and i can't have male friends oh no! so i broke up with him! it hurt " What a big mess!

 

Fourth, HE CHEATED ON YOU!

 

This has toxic and unhealthy written all over it. Why in the world would you want this creep back? You need to love and respect yourself, as this guy did not. Don't you think that you played his bank/doormat long enough!!!!!

 

LADIES, VALUE YOURSELVES!!!!

[daydreaming33]

I agree with Holly J. Keep pressing ahead.