Sasasmile Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 I need a big help. I met a guy on his vacation. We spent together for almost 4 days with full of fun and great times. After he is back to his countries, he kept calling and texting me a lot saying how much he missed me. He nagged me to come visit him for 3 months (at that time I quit job and stayed with my parents). He was so attentive and initiated for doing visa for me. But just before I decided to visit him for 3 months, I got a new job offer and I accepted so I had to change my visit to him for only 3 weeks instead of months. He was really disappointed. But I told him we needed to see how we feel when we are together again. During my visit to him for 3 weeks, we had a great times and great intimates. He was so caring and we even spent times with his friend’ family and he introduced me to his best friend. He talked about the family things. I am normally cool girl and not nagging or clingy girl who needs her guy around every time. When times came to me to leave him after 3 weeks holidays, I asked him that how he felt about having me with him. He said it was great to have me with him. After I m back to my country, I mostly occupied with my new job and I complained about my job a lot to him. He called me sometimes and said he missed me and how I looked great on facetime. Sometimes he talked about his visit to me. After almost two weeks after my visit, he started being cold and distance, no text or calls often but when I checked him up, he did not take long to reply my texts and said how he is busy( yes, he is super busy with his job even we were on holidays, he was still working on his laptops). I left him without texting him for at most 3 days. Then I checked him last week Friday, and he replied me that he was at funeral of his friend. And will call me tomorrow. I was waiting for his call but he did not make it and so I left msg to him that I was waiting for his call and worrying that what is happening with him. and let him know I am always here for him and if he does not communicate then I wont know. (we have 5 hrs time difference: he is an European and I am an Asian) He replied me that He is just too much under pressure at the moment and not really good in communicating and his job is too much now. He said, he shouldn’t but he wants to be for himself without talking or listening. He continued that he is strange sometimes, especially when he has to handle too many things at the same time and said he is sorry to tell me that. What I responded was “okay, I got you! Wish him the best, take care and rest well.” He did not reply to this. Then one day later I saw the new about bomb in London and I texted him and asked him where is he, coz he needs to travel to London a lot. He replied that “hey princess, I am doing good and in berlin. Thanks for asking” we started talking a bit about this tragedy and then literally he stopped texting me again for almost two days. So now I am thinking that I should write him an email saying how I feel about him and I will cherish our sweet memories. I respect whatever he decides or make it clear to me for our relationship. ( I will not beg or cry over him). I know he is so busy but he found time to keep in touch with me before we entered into this thing called relationship.(he claimed himself as my boyfriend). He still calls me princess in text and when I called last time him to wish birthday wish, he answered my call and even called me princess, sounded like nothing happened but the call was short coz he was preparing to go to lake with friends. I felt so hurt and right after the call he texted me”I'm so sorry to behave like this at the moment”. What does it mean?? I replied him “talk to me when u feel u can.” next day, I texted by askin had a fun birthday? wish I were with you. no reply over two days. I decided to send some comfort text " literally making me letting go my emotions off coz I am not made of stone and I feel hurt when you are treating me this way". again no reply over two days and finally i decided to call him. but he did not pick up my call. texted me right after the call by saying "he is in meeting and had diarrhea for two days where he slept. he blamed on time differences and he then asked to call me tomorrow morning." He continued long text "he is so bad at talking about things like that, but he has no solutions for the current situation, hence he runs away. This is everything else then mature, and he said he knows but he knows how our conversion will look like and he is sure he wont be able to give me answers". I replied him " I m really sorry to hear that. I wanted to check whether he has received my BD presented or not. and said I am really concerned for him since he did not reply y text. wish him to recover soon. call me when you feel better" NO CALL/ REPLY over three days . I am so devastated. please help me . I will take hint he is trying to break up with me rather than he just needs alone time? I want closure at least. I never thought he would hurt me that much. I decided not to contact him anymore Pyone He used to be so attentive and sweet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Yes, he is trying to break up with you. He is being a coward about it, but that's what's happening here. The truth is that you don't know him very well. I understand you used to communicate a lot and spent 3 weeks together, but you still don't know him on a very deep level; I say this because people often assume that the person they see at the beginning of the relationship is the person is exactly who the person really is. But it's usually not. We are all on our best behaviour in the beginning, naturally, but we all have several more layers to our character and behaviour patterns. He is showing you now who he is and where you are in his list of priorities. I would follow your instinct not to contact him anymore. He's lost interest for whatever reason, and it's going to be too difficult to try to keep it going. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, I know it's hurtful. Closure comes from you, though, not him. You can decide for yourself that this isn't working anymore and you can work on closing this chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyman Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 This is not a break up, just the end of an intimate fling between two people from different places. Close it off and walk away. Go find a boyfriend in your own region and forget about him. You both had fun, dragging it out in hope something mroe will happen will only make the memory of it worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broomwood Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 I am sorry that you're in pain and confusion. Closure can be achieved without physically talking to him, or finding out the exact reasons of his behaviour. You can mentally imagine him, and talk to him and tell him everything you want to tell him, yes talk it all out. Then ask for forgiveness for anything you've done wrong to him, wish him well, and forgive completely. Forgiveness may not come immediately, and you'll need to try this a few times, but when it does you'll notice by how at peace you feel. The sense of peace with yourself and the situation is where you need to be aiming at in your exercises in forgiveness. Good luck! I know you will heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasasmile Posted June 9, 2017 Author Share Posted June 9, 2017 Thank you. I wrote him an email 10 days ago and told him my feelings about him and asked him to make it clear. He called me when he saw my email and i missed hi call when I tried to call him back, he was on flight for business trip and after all that it became worse and no answers for my calls and slow reply for my texts. I believe if we are meant to be together, we will be. but now I am totally in pain. At least I could delete his contact number and every photos of us and him on my mobile. I will be okay in the end. but needs time. I truly love him. I never had such a great connection and intimate with any guy before. Thank you so much for your kind comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyman Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 I truly love him. I never had such a great connection and intimate with any guy before. Thank you so much for your kind comments. Just don't think that you will never meet someone better, you will, but he will b different from this guy. You will survive and look back on this one day as that bit of fun you had that year with that foreign guy from... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasasmile Posted June 12, 2017 Author Share Posted June 12, 2017 thank you, Keyman. I am trying to mind off from this . and finally his silence says it is closure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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