NC 6 weeks

[Katout]

Hey guys

So this guy ghosted me was together for 4 months. Really thought we had something going. He opened up to me and I felt he wanted this more than I did. I guess I was played.

Anyway it's been 6 weeks of NC and just wanted to say it does get better. You just have to hang in there. It's made me a better person. Just don't think I could trust anyone again.

My gut tells me he will come back and when he does I will be telling him where to go. The only thing I'm finding difficult at the moment is not knowing the reasons why he did what he did.

Stay strong guys xxx

[Broomwood]

Katout,

 

I am glad you're finding it better after 6 weeks of NC. But I don't like the sound of "Just don't think I could trust anyone again". You should get over him hurting you, forgive him and move on with an open heart. It won't work otherwise if you want to create a loving relationship. Your mistrust of men will get in the way.

 

Rather, think how you can find out the reasons behind him ghosting you, and learn from it, so that it doesn't happen in the future. From my understanding the reasons are all pretty similar. He just wasn't that into you, but a coward to tell you that. They all are, or most of them. Well, he had his reasons, perhaps he thought you were going to cry, "kill yourself, him or both". See how you can make sure you know next time when a guy genuinely likes you. What you can do to make the relationship really enjoyable and safe place for both. And things like that. Good luck!

[Hollyj]

Block the guy! He's a jerk! He will not care about anything you have to say .

[Annia]

That's great that NC is helping you. Don't say that about not trusting again, not all men are coward jerks like him.

 

I had a guy ghosting me after about 5 months. Well, I don't know if a slow fade + totally vanishing is called ghosted, but he simply disappeared and we even had plans that he simply ignored because he vanished. He came back almost a year later or something like it was nothing and invited me for a coffee. Of course I didn't go. And he even commented with a friend that he didn't get why I was mad at him. Are really some people with so much lack of self awareness? lol

 

In my case I deleted him and NC all the way too.

 

Don't let him influence you capability to love in the future. He doesn't deserve so much importance.

[Katout]

That's great that NC is helping you. Don't say that about not trusting again, not all men are coward jerks like him.

 

 

I had a guy ghosting me after about 5 months. Well, I don't know if a slow fade + totally vanishing is called ghosted, but he simply disappeared and we even had plans that he simply ignored because he vanished. He came back almost a year later or something like it was nothing and invited me for a coffee. Of course I didn't go. And he even commented with a friend that he didn't get why I was mad at him. Are really some people with so much lack of self awareness? lol

 

In my case I deleted him and NC all the way too.

 

Don't let him influence you capability to love in the future. He doesn't deserve so much importance.

 

Did'nt you want to know the reasons why he ghosted you?

Everyday I keep thinking why? Keep going through my head all the things he said to me and the time we spent together. How can someone all of a sudden just disappear, without no feelings?

[Annia]

Did'nt you want to know the reasons why he ghosted you?

Everyday I keep thinking why? Keep going through my head all the things he said to me and the time we spent together. How can someone all of a sudden just disappear, without no feelings?

 

At the time I wanted to know, but I think it was because of another girl that showed up. I never really asked him why after he came back with the coffee invitation. It bruised my ego at the time but then it passed. I think it was because I wasn't that emotionally invested. I mean, I liked him and enjoyed being with him, but I think that in the back of my mind I knew that this would be a short term thing and before the ghosting he had some attitudes with me that now looking back I should've seen them as red flags and just have left him myself.

 

In my experience, but I could be wrong, when someone disappears like this out of the blue, there's usually another person involved. From what I've experienced and watched in other people it was usually: "they were still playing the field and found someone they liked and wanted to pursue it" ; "they realised that they wanted to play the field but are too coward to break up properly" ; "An ex that they weren't completely over came into the picture". Does this excuse the coward act that it is ghosting people? No, but these are the most common reasons I've observed.

[Annia]

And as to "how can someone out of a sudden just disappear, without feelings?" . I sincerely don't know and it's one of those things that I never understood. I can understand some sort of "ghosting" after one or two dates maximum in which the "ghost" is not feeling it, even though it's always better a text saying something like "I had a good time but I don't think this is going to work/whatever. Wish you well". However, I could never understand or respect ghosting when people have been consistently dating for a while, regardless if they are in a committed relationship or not (if they are, then it's even worse).

 

In this case of stringing someone along for months and dating them and one day simply disappearing it's just coward and immature. Not that I condone or approve texting break ups, but in the modern era people don't even need to break up face to face, they can simply send a message or whatever explaining. So simply disappearing and letting the other person wondering, worried or having to realize by themselves that it is over, it's simply beyond my realm of comprehension. But these are people with whom we wouldn't want to be in relationships with anyway.

[Katout]

And as to "how can someone out of a sudden just disappear, without feelings?" . I sincerely don't know and it's one of those things that I never understood. I can understand some sort of "ghosting" after one or two dates maximum in which the "ghost" is not feeling it, even though it's always better a text saying something like "I had a good time but I don't think this is going to work/whatever. Wish you well". However, I could never understand or respect ghosting when people have been consistently dating for a while, regardless if they are in a committed relationship or not (if they are, then it's even worse).

 

In this case of stringing someone along for months and dating them and one day simply disappearing it's just coward and immature. Not that I condone or approve texting break ups, but in the modern era people don't even need to break up face to face, they can simply send a message or whatever explaining. So simply disappearing and letting the other person wondering, worried or having to realize by themselves that it is over, it's simply beyond my realm of comprehension. But these are people with whom we wouldn't want to be in relationships with anyway.

 

I've known him for years, we both said he were soulmates I guess not.

I don't hate him think I hate myself for trusting him. I opened up to him and he did the same.

Yes his a coward not a man. I just have to learn from this experience.

I would of taken it with a big heart if he was honest me.

I guess everything he said was all lies which hurts me the most.

[Annia]

I've known him for years, we both said he were soulmates I guess not.

I don't hate him think I hate myself for trusting him. I opened up to him and he did the same.

Yes his a coward not a man. I just have to learn from this experience.

I would of taken it with a big heart if he was honest me.

I guess everything he said was all lies which hurts me the most.

 

You don't have to hate yourself for trusting him, especially regarding that you've known him for a long time and he told you those loving things. Most of us would've done the same. We live and learn. I know it's hard when we're hurt, but don't close your heart to other opportunities. This is not a blueprint of your future.

[Zee30]

hey I'm trying to cope with no contact rule with a girl I been with for 8 years she broke up with me saying she doesn't see a future with me also her dad didn't approve of us getting married she said a lot of things to hurt me she said we are wasting our life we need to think of future I feel like I don't even know her anymore how do I deal with no contact after having this person with me for 8 years we spent all our youth together and have so much history how do I just deal with no contact and will it get easier ?

[LordRorek]

I was ( Kinda ) ghosted on after 6 years together and I never got any clear answers either.

 

But you know what I have finally figured out?

 

The reasons are irrelevant because, no matter what reason they give, it still won't make any sense to us.

 

We would never even consider doing something like this, so any reason they give will only serve to confuse us even further.

 

I pray for your healing, health, and happiness.

 

- LordRorek

 

P.S. If you want to know more about my story I posted it here

[Katout]

hey I'm trying to cope with no contact rule with a girl I been with for 8 years she broke up with me saying she doesn't see a future with me also her dad didn't approve of us getting married she said a lot of things to hurt me she said we are wasting our life we need to think of future I feel like I don't even know her anymore how do I deal with no contact after having this person with me for 8 years we spent all our youth together and have so much history how do I just deal with no contact and will it get easier ?

Hi I'm really sorry your going through this. 8 years in a very long time to be with someone. U cant make her want to be with you. Maybe if u give her space she'll relize what she's missing. I'm not gonna lie it will be hard, try to keep yourself busy. Block her if u feel u can. That's what I had to do otherwise I was constantly checking my phone All the time. At least she was honest with you and you've got closure.

It will get easier just take each day as it comes.