Cannot Enjoy Myself Around GFs Family

[hooblemm]

Hello everyone, it has been quite a while since I last posted here and I am happy to say that my relationship of almost 5 years is as amazing as it's ever been...and it has been this way for quite a while and we both have not been happier. BTW, I am 19 and she is 20.

 

Anyways, I recently went on a small trip with her and her family for a few days and it made me start to think - for some reason I just cannot enjoy myself fully while around her family...I start to feel bored, like I am expecting "more" out of everyday interaction. For example, while on this trip we went to a "famous" bakery with really good food that my GF has been wanting to take me to for years - something I would usually be excited for - however, with them I just felt bored and felt like I wanted to be somewhere else.

 

They are nice, laid-back people, similar to my own family, however they live a bit differently and have different lifestyle. I'm not sure if it is even something for me to be worried about, I just have a strange feeling that I cannot put my finger on for some reason. I have spoken about this with my GF and we think maybe it is that we just want some privacy, as we only get to see each other about 3 times a week due to work/distance, and we are typically not afforded much privacy during those 3 times and are often surrounded by her family (we both still live at home). I am thinking that maybe instead of "feeling like I want to be somewhere else" it is "feeling like I just want some privacy without her family"....Just curious about everyone's thoughts about this. Thank you!

[melancholy123]

It may well be you are wishing silently for privacy, which is understandable. Be thankful that you get along with her family as much as you do! Consider the alternative, if they were mean or rude to you! Boring is the least of the evils you could have to deal with!

[Keyman]

Well, you can't change her family else I'm suree most of us would have sold off ours long ago.

 

And if you have spent so long with her, you must be at least used to them by now. I know that around my exes parents I was always a different person, a quieter less me version of me, so this could be that, you don't have the space to be yourself when you are with them.

 

Things will likely change when you two move out from home and possibly begin living together and you get your own space. Until then, you just have to suck it up and accept it. You could suggest more outtings with your gf for just the two of you?

[itsallgrand]

Nothing strange with young people preferring not to spend so much leisure time with parent figures

 

It's great they are nice. That's a real bonus !

[Rezie]

You've gotten older and need to do a different couple-like things than when you were 16. You want independence for your relationship. Unfortunately if you both live at home you can't really change it too much. Maybe go on holiday the two of you. Do either of you have any plans to move on your own?

[Andrina]

While on the two day trip, it would've been fine for you two to go off on a half day jaunt without the family, and meet up later for dinner, etc. Don't you have a car and go on dates the two or three days a week you get together? When I was a teen, my parents always needed to meet someone I was dating, but other than that, I rarely spent time with my bf and parents at the same time. If your gf goes overboard with family time, it's time for a discussion that you need some quality time apart from them. If it's just a pattern you two have fallen into, it's time to break it.

[Seraphim]

Having her family be nice is great ! And every family has different lifestyles and lives differently there's nothing wrong with that . I also don't know a lot of 19-year-olds that want to hang out with their parents so being bored is normal .

 

Sounds like you guys are doing fine to me .