I dont know how to contact my ex... its a long story

[TigerTiger906]

I met this girl in January 2016 and we starting dating in March. Everything was great but towards October I began to feel she wasn’t acting the same and behold she broke up with me. I was devastated I was so in love with her. She was dealing with a lot in her life and said a relationship wasn’t something she could deal with at the moment. She told me she still wanted me in her life but couldn’t be in a relationship and had be selfish and focus on herself. Long story short I convinced her to meet up and talk again about a week later and after a lot of talking she saw how much I cared and wanted to be there for her, we decided to take things slowly and not officially label it “dating”. It was to much pressure for her to have a boyfriend. She told me it would be a long time until she felt ready for a relationship and I accepted that because I loved her, but thing where still basically the same. Id sleepover at her place all the time, nothing was different. She even told me one night how lucky she was to have me and would even consistently talk about being together forever. She would say to me she never actually wanted to break up with me.

 

I suffer from anxiety and in December I started to have bad anxiety attacks and was having a really hard time. One night when I was over she asked me to to start dating again and I told her I couldn’t yet, which I know must of really surprised her but I explained I was dealing with a ton of anxiety which she obviously knew about and I needed to fix that first. I reassured her I wanted to be with her and its not that I don’t want to. I felt I wasn’t ready to be the boyfriend she deserves. We continued doing what we where doing and then there was one night in early January that I slept over and left early in the morning because I was going to visit a friend at University. Everything seemed totally normal and nothing seemed wrong. I was texting her when I got to my friends and snapping her and nothing seemed off. But the next day I didn’t hear from her for about 6 hours which was unusual. I asked her if everything was okay and she assured me everything was fine. I was coming back the next day and I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie with me and she agreed to. My plan was to ask her to starting dating then as I really worked on my anxiety and it was nice and calm but the morning of she texted me saying she didn’t think it would work out today which was odd and she never did that before so I was a bit worried. I kind of pushed her a bit because my plan was to ask her to be my girlfriend again but she got annoyed and said she had to do work and will talked to me later. I later apologized to her over text and she accepted it but told me she needed some “space”. Not knowing the significant of what she ment I let her be for the rest of the day and didn’t talk to her until later the next day. She then again told me she needed space and wasn’t feeling the same way she was before. She also said part of the reason for this is because she needed space to work on herself and focus on herself which she wanted before but we kinda got back together which was interfering with goal to fix her problems in life. She told me this time it was for real and I was not going to convince her to keep me around. She said I did somethings that annoyed her and that also diminished her feelings. We did continue to talk and she said maybe in the future things can work out but right now a relationship is not what she wants. But she still wanted me in her life. I was heart broken, I was about to ask her to be my gf and now this happened. And by the way this was all over text, non of this was in person. She said we would talk about it in person at somepoint but that point never came. She did say she still wanted to talk and we did for the next few days but then we just stopped. The next day I sent her a long letter explaining my feelings for her and everything, and how I know she will get out of her tough spot and I believe in her and she messaged me back saying she really appreciated it and that she loves me. Even though we stopped texting, we would snapchat eachother everyday because we had a streak we wanted to continue but one day I couldn’t handle it and just didn’t snap her. She asked me kind of why I didn’t and I said it was really hard for me to try to move on when I keep seeing what your doing everyday without me. This was mid February. Since then ive sent her a few snaps and she has back but nothing directly to eachother. In April I contacted her asking if we could try and be friends and she answered saying she didn’t want that right now. Im still very upset about this. I hate how I haven’t seen her and everything was done over texting. We don’t talk to eachother at all anymore, I am scared to talk to her because I don’t want to be hurt but I love her so much and miss her so much aswell. Its now June and I still haven’t seen her and don’t think I ever will again. Ive been thinking of contacting her to try and to see if we can talk but Im so scared ill be rejected. I care about this girl so much and it bother me so much how things ended. I really don’t know what to do… its been 5 months now and I miss her so much and want her back in my life… btw I do notice she always views my snap story but i dont think that means anythign at all

[Hollyj]

If you have to keep taking breaks from one another, THERE IS NO FUTURE. I strongly suggest that you move on from this woman, as your relationship is not sustainable.

 

Lastly, you cannot be friends, when there are feelings.

[TigerTiger906]

If you have to keep taking breaks from one another, THERE IS NO FUTURE. I strongly suggest that you move on from this woman, as your relationship is not sustainable.

 

Lastly, you cannot be friends, when there are feelings.

 

This is the only actual break we have taken, we havent taken anyother breaks but now. The other one before last like 4 days

[Hollyj]

You have taken three breaks from the relationship: she did not want a commitment, then you did not want the commitment, and now you have been split.

 

A Healthy relationship means full commitment, not something ambiguous.

[shessofly]

My advice is to stop sending and viewing snaps (delete her, and block so you can't see that she has viewed yours). In order to get past this on the big steps is to cut all contact. I do not recommend reaching out in your fragile state. Even just the tiny bit of contact on snapchat is messing with your head.