Ex's new girlfriend made him delete me off all social media.

[laelithia]

Hi everyone,

 

I just found out through my ex that he has deleted me off all social media at the request of his new girlfriend. Although I am slightly upset by this (I don't see why it's necessary), what I am more upset about is that he obliged her request, yet while we were dating, he continued to speak to his ex wife regularly even though I expressed that it worried and upset me. It seems like a slap in the face that he has severed all ties with exes for this new girl (whom he began dating right after/possibly during our relationship).

 

I feel animosity towards this new person, simply because she was given love, care and respect I never was. I don't understand why I wasn't afforded the same.

[mustlovedogs]

Hi everyone,

 

I just found out through my ex that he has deleted me off all social media at the request of his new girlfriend. Although I am slightly upset by this (I don't see why it's necessary), what I am more upset about is that he obliged her request, yet while we were dating, he continued to speak to his ex wife regularly even though I expressed that it worried and upset me. It seems like a slap in the face that he has severed all ties with exes for this new girl (whom he began dating right after/possibly during our relationship).

 

I feel animosity towards this new person, simply because she was given love, care and respect I never was. I don't understand why I wasn't afforded the same.

 

It's normal to not speak with your ex's, and it's normal to not have them on social media.

 

Do him and his ex wife have a kid? I think it's normal to speak with an ex spouse, if only to work through things still lingering - perhaps shared finances being ironed out, kid issues, etc.

 

I can tell you're bothered more that he's moved on than that he unfriended you. Take this as a small blessing and work to stop thinking of him. Start the work to move on.

[Starlight925]

this new girl (whom he began dating right after/possibly during our relationship).

 

My guess is, you're exactly right: he overlapped you with her, and this caused security/trust issues with her towards him. She probably feels a little threatened by you, or any other of his exes, because she realizes that he is just one click away from starting to chat again with someone. Because he didn't give it an appropriate enough time between relationships, she feels she is "just another girl", so she stepped up her boundaries.

 

He's in the honeymoon phase with her, so he obliged. Remember, he just met her, she's new sex, it's all shiny. So he was like "sure!" when she asked him to delete you.

 

That being said, I'm not sure why anyone needs to stay Facebook friends with their ex, unless that ex is their co-parent. It just keeps things too messy.

[PaintWithLight]

Don't play the comparison game. Look at how this is affecting you? She has been given more care and respect than you were....no! That is not true. This is a good move because in the long run, it will avoid any possible future drama.

 

He is out of your life. You do not need to stay in touch.

[Seymore]

I can totally understand why he deleted you - no offense, but he's moving on. The fact that it affects you tells me you haven't.

 

I'd never keep an ex as a friend, even on social media...come on now - being a friend on social media doesn't even equate to being a friend, so why care?

[laelithia]

Thanks for your replies, everyone.

 

I can assure you, I am 100% over him romantically (I would never get back with him even if he wanted to), but what bothers me is that he has remained friends with almost all his exes in the past (he did not have children with his ex wife), and it seems particularly harsh to me to be singled out, especially since we were more friends than exes and he said he would always cherish my friendship.

 

I have most of my exes on social media (and so does he), it doesn't bother me. What does, is that I was singled out, and that obviously my friendship did not mean as much to him as he once said, but he never had the decency to explain any of this to me, just went from being my friend to not. I think the fact that he said it was because of this new girl is just an added sting.

[nsolo]

"Ex's new girlfriend made him delete me off all social media."

 

"I feel animosity towards this new person, simply because she was given love, care and respect I never was. I don't understand why I wasn't afforded the same."

 

"...what I am more upset about is that he obliged her request..."

 

This is exactly why you don't keep old skeletons around. Because they'll keep on rattlin' you until you lose your mind!

 

I would end all contact and most likely never talk to him, look him up, etc. for the rest of my life.

[catfeeder]

Speaking only for myself, I wouldn't involve myself with anyone who's still in touch with an ex in any way, shape or form beyond shared children. While it doesn't make someone a 'bad' person, it's old business, and I don't have room in my life for anyone who's still dealing with that stuff. So if a guy wants to pursue a relationship with me, he's either done with exes, or he can keep them.

 

I'd just consider it a sign that it's time to put your focus fully back on your own life.

 

Head high.

[No1]

why should it care what he does? So he deleted the pictures at the request of his new GF or he is treating you differently than other Xs. So What? How does this change your life? It doesnt. The beauty part of an X is not having to care what or why they do things. Your X is someone elses problem now. You are free to find someone better.

[mustlovedogs]

Thanks for your replies, everyone.

 

I can assure you, I am 100% over him romantically (I would never get back with him even if he wanted to), but what bothers me is that he has remained friends with almost all his exes in the past (he did not have children with his ex wife), and it seems particularly harsh to me to be singled out, especially since we were more friends than exes and he said he would always cherish my friendship.

 

I have most of my exes on social media (and so does he), it doesn't bother me. What does, is that I was singled out, and that obviously my friendship did not mean as much to him as he once said, but he never had the decency to explain any of this to me, just went from being my friend to not. I think the fact that he said it was because of this new girl is just an added sting.

 

You're telling yourself you're over him, but you're not.

 

I did the same thing.

 

I was recently curious about my ex and Facebook stalked him, only to discover he was engaged. I felt nothing about him, just a slight jealousy that he found a stable relationship and I haven't.

 

But otherwise, nothing.

 

Feeling nothing is exactly what you should feel when you're over someone. You so obviously are hurt, which is ok, which is more reason you shouldn't be friends on Facebook.

 

This is good for you. It'll help you heal. It's ok.

 

If he ever wants to get back with you, he knows how to find you.

[laelithia]

You're telling yourself you're over him, but you're not.

 

I did the same thing.

 

I was recently curious about my ex and Facebook stalked him, only to discover he was engaged. I felt nothing about him, just a slight jealousy that he found a stable relationship and I haven't.

 

But otherwise, nothing.

 

Feeling nothing is exactly what you should feel when you're over someone. You so obviously are hurt, which is ok, which is more reason you shouldn't be friends on Facebook.

 

This is good for you. It'll help you heal. It's ok.

 

If he ever wants to get back with you, he knows how to find you.

 

Thank you for your reply. I sincerely hope he never tries to get back with me, I could never forgive him for all that he is done. We dated on and off for a year following his divorce, and basically used me as a bridge from that relationship to the one is his in now. It makes me angry and resentful that he didn't do me the same courtesy when we were dating, that at times I heard him on the phone with his ex wife assuring her that he'd always care so deeply about her.

 

I can't help thinking what about me? What is it about me that has men so enthralled in the beginning and then months later treating me like garbage? He clearly was never truly into me the way he said he was, and instead of believing his actions, I believed his words. I feel hurt and angry that he wasted a year of my life, that he's in a happy relationship now at my expense. He doesn't deserve it, and I feel it is unfair for this new girl to encourage the discard. He was dating me up until March, and I believe she came into the picture before that, and I believe she knew that too.

[catfeeder]

Thank you for your reply. I sincerely hope he never tries to get back with me, I could never forgive him for all that he is done. We dated on and off for a year following his divorce, and basically used me as a bridge from that relationship to the one is his in now. It makes me angry and resentful that he didn't do me the same courtesy when we were dating, that at times I heard him on the phone with his ex wife assuring her that he'd always care so deeply about her.

 

I can't help thinking what about me? What is it about me that has men so enthralled in the beginning and then months later treating me like garbage? He clearly was never truly into me the way he said he was, and instead of believing his actions, I believed his words. I feel hurt and angry that he wasted a year of my life, that he's in a happy relationship now at my expense. He doesn't deserve it, and I feel it is unfair for this new girl to encourage the discard. He was dating me up until March, and I believe she came into the picture before that, and I believe she knew that too.

 

You can blame him for rebounding with you and keep ripping yourself up over that, or you can recognize that you positioned yourself that way instead of walking away and telling him to contact you in 6 months to a year after he's had a chance to stabilize and learn how to be single.

 

Read up on rebounding, acknowledge your own part in the drama, and move forward with confidence that you've learned what you needed to learn about your own responsibilities for selection of good matches rather than viewing yourself as victimized and at the mercy of anyone else's poor judgment.