firstluvstruck Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 So I'd like some advice. Went on a first date last night with someone I'd like to get to know more. There weren't fireworks but I don't think it was a fail either. I can't tell if it was too dry or thats just the way a first date goes sometimes. I'll ask her if she wants to hang out again and I guess that would be my best guage. So maybe I don't need advice but...does anyone have any advice on how to maybe let her know that I was nervous or that a second date would be more fun than the first (without being explicit). I don't know..basically...help a brother out who wants to get to know this girl but isn't sure how the first date went. or any anecdotes of how your first date was a little awkward but you were able to turn it around? Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 First dates are normally nerve wracking and don't always work out like you would have liked them to. That's totally normal. Don't over think it. Just talk to her again and ask if she'd like to go out again sometime. Concentrate on getting to know her as a person, focus more on building a good friendship with her. (This will take some of the nerves off and hopefully help you not be so nervous). There is no right or wrong when it comes to dates, just try to relax, enjoy each others company and see how well you can get to know her. You might find out that you're compatible or you might find out that you're better as good friends. Best of luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstluvstruck Posted June 4, 2017 Author Share Posted June 4, 2017 cool, thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careerchoice Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 I don't know..basically...help a brother out who wants to get to know this girl but isn't sure how the first date went. or any anecdotes of how your first date was a little awkward but you were able to turn it around? I remember this one first date I went on years ago. It was 2000. I got her number at a club. We went to this a little bit upscale restaurant and had dinner. We talked and it was a pleasant first date, but I was nervous as hell. I was not "fun". She even made some comment on the way out along the lines on "Come on, I know you're fun." I got a second date out of it and it was a lot more fun. I wasn't so nervous. I think that was the date I kissed her for the first time too. She was a nice girl. Very pretty. Don't let her know that you were nervous on your first date and ensure that a second one would be more fun. You have nothing to apologize about and you don't want to come from the frame that she's the one who needs to be entertained. Your only job is to let her to get to know you as completely and efficiently as possible. You're there to enjoy yourself. Good job getting out there btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted June 5, 2017 Share Posted June 5, 2017 Call her up, tell her you enjoyed her company & had a great time, and you would like to see her again. If all is positive from her end then make arrangements straight away. Good luck!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstluvstruck Posted June 5, 2017 Author Share Posted June 5, 2017 So I was trying to think of a song yesterday but couldn't. Found it and sent it today. She said cool thanks just now. Should I call tonight? Tomorrow? If i knew it went well I wouldn't be nervous to just call today. Wondering why Im nervous anyway..afraid of rejection I guess! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careerchoice Posted June 5, 2017 Share Posted June 5, 2017 The general rule to follow is to call when you want to call. You're not going to change the ultimate outcome by calling a day sooner. Assume it went well. It probably went better than you remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstluvstruck Posted June 5, 2017 Author Share Posted June 5, 2017 ok cool, I want to call tomorrow. thanks for the positive energy everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sportster2005 Posted June 5, 2017 Share Posted June 5, 2017 So I'd like some advice. Went on a first date last night with someone I'd like to get to know more. There weren't fireworks but I don't think it was a fail either. I can't tell if it was too dry or thats just the way a first date goes sometimes. I'll ask her if she wants to hang out again and I guess that would be my best guage. So maybe I don't need advice but...does anyone have any advice on how to maybe let her know that I was nervous or that a second date would be more fun than the first (without being explicit). I don't know..basically...help a brother out who wants to get to know this girl but isn't sure how the first date went. or any anecdotes of how your first date was a little awkward but you were able to turn it around? Thanks I would say with my best charming smile, and a twinkle in my eye; "I sure was nervous on that first date, when I relax you'll see I'm a pretty awesome|cool|funny guy." Just don't be nervous when you say it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstluvstruck Posted June 5, 2017 Author Share Posted June 5, 2017 Let's first see if she agrees to see me again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstluvstruck Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 I called yesterday and left a voicemail. I figure if she is interested she'll get back to me. anyway, I've moved on for now but maybe she'll hit me back up. whatever happens, that date was exactly what I needed to get over the ex; it let me know that there are other really cool down to earth women out there. something clicked and I totally snapped out of my funk when I got home...didnt even think of her once during the date. and haven't been upset about it since hopefully she calls back haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careerchoice Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I called yesterday and left a voicemail. I figure if she is interested she'll get back to me. anyway, I've moved on for now but maybe she'll hit me back up. whatever happens, that date was exactly what I needed to get over the ex; it let me know that there are other really cool down to earth women out there. something clicked and I totally snapped out of my funk when I got home...didnt even think of her once during the date. and haven't been upset about it since hopefully she calls back haha If she doesn't get back to you, feel free to reach out to her in a couple/few days. Now get on some other girls pronto. You want to build on the momentum and not lay back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstluvstruck Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 definitely! i'm talking to other girls!. in the case of this one..text her something funny? simple 'how are you'? call again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careerchoice Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 text her something funny? Yes. Good instincts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jibralta Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I don't know..basically...help a brother out who wants to get to know this girl but isn't sure how the first date went. or any anecdotes of how your first date was a little awkward but you were able to turn it around? Sort of the opposite, but I think it applies. I left the date kind of meh about him, and he knew it. He emailed me after and made a joke. I can't remember exactly how it went, but he said something like, "but if you want someone who does xyz and makes your life a constant f*cking riddle, I'm your guy." The "constant f*cking riddle" part made me LOL, and still does. It's stuck with me still after 10 years! But actually, there's a little more to it. I started seeing someone else (unbeknownst to the riddle guy) but I still talked to the riddle guy on the phone. He made me laugh a lot. One day, my uncle was in a terrible accident and the riddle guy was so awesome about it. He was just sooo good to talk to. Eventually, I broke up with the other dude. I started dating the riddle guy a little while after that. We dated for 7 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 I would call her one more time just in case she missed the call to show you are interested - but after that - leave her be. Also, do NOT ask her to "hang out". Ask her on a date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careerchoice Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 I would call her one more time just in case she missed the call to show you are interested - but after that - leave her be. Also, do NOT ask her to "hang out". Ask her on a date. No don't put a label on it. That makes it too serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstluvstruck Posted June 7, 2017 Author Share Posted June 7, 2017 She got back to me, said she didnt feel the potential for a romantic connection. I kind of got that feeling half way through - it's been a while since I've gone out and just had fun (studying 24/7). I'm grateful she was honest and didn't leave me hanging. She was really cool and attractive(!) but there are many more women. Could I have been more relaxed and found a real connection? Definitely. and defniitely bummed a little. But I'm grateful for the experience. She opened my heart and mind to the world again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 No don't put a label on it. That makes it too serious. Asking a girl to "hang out" is exactly the same as asking her for "netflix & chill". Dont be that guy, ask a girl on a real date!!! IM sorry things didnt work out with this girl, but you now have a lot of useful info for next time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsolo Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 "So maybe I don't need advice but...does anyone have any advice on how to maybe let her know that I was nervous or that a second date would be more fun than the first (without being explicit)." I have gotten plenty of second dates, and I never mentioned being nervous, awkward, or anything like that. Simply give her a call or text (I like calling) on Friday or so and chat for a few minutes. Then ask when are you free to get together next? Then set a date with a time and place. I might say something like, "I wanted to check out this one place. I'll send you the address and all that." Then I'll text, "555 Pacific Dr., etc. 7:00 p.m." I cant' stress enough for you to take it as easy as possible with the texting, even if she seems to want to text, text, text. If she is like that, text once a day. Maybe twice. Staying off the phone lets her know you have a life, which is a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careerchoice Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Asking a girl to "hang out" is exactly the same as asking her for "netflix & chill". And where did I recommend to say that? Please quote me. I said don't put a label on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstluvstruck Posted June 7, 2017 Author Share Posted June 7, 2017 My first request was "would you like to hang out this weekend" seemed to be fine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careerchoice Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 On a side note, sometimes I will call it a date, sometimes I'll say hang out. Other times I'll ignore the description entirely. It depends on what I'm sensing out of her. But forcing the description on her will scare some girls off. Sometimes they're not at the point yet where they can handle that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.thumb.jpg.a7437edbcaa5924fb077b36bf6653986.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.619cbf9ada685acba712967edfb3e7aa.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.65c4c15f72ce59b381ef6ad97046db0f.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.