Ziggy123 Posted June 3, 2017 Author Share Posted June 3, 2017 You know something Ziggy. When I read some of these threads I am forcefully reminded of: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Sorry I haven't heard this quote, what do you mean? Link to comment
LaHermes Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 A biblical reference. I think it is evident what it means. A woman found in adultery was about to be stoned............. Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 Many relationships that end due to much smaller problems never get back together. Link to comment
Ziggy123 Posted June 3, 2017 Author Share Posted June 3, 2017 Many relationships that end due to much smaller problems never get back together. That is true. I guess at the end of the day if both people aren't invested then the relationship is over, no matter the reason. My ex isn't invested anymore and there's nothing I can do unless he changes his mind himself Link to comment
LaHermes Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 That's about it, Ziggy. We tend to forget that no one is perfect, we are creatures of evolution, with all that implies. The concept of "choices", well I don't know. That idea has been debated and tons of paper and ink used and well, it is a discussion for another day. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 Yes I definitely see what you are saying. Maybe in my head I was justifying it as it was happening, example: I'm not doing anything wrong we are just friends, or it's just a bit of innocent flirting... etc. A lot of affairs start this way, with people allowing themselves to get caught up in the thrill of the situation, denying that something inappropriate might be happening. Yes I realize the warning signs looking back and where I should have stopped it before it went too far next time if I develop a crush on someone I will cut contact with them as to not let it turn into cheating as I learned it can sometimes be a fine line between being friends with someone and flirting/leading to more Unfortunately, you had to learn this the hard way. But, as Maya Angelou said, when you know better, you do better. I have spent a lot of time reflecting on it and I think I was drawn to the other person because he made me feel good about myself, where as that is an issue I was having with my ex (he would jokingly put me down a lot) and in general I tend to have low self confidence. So it is something I'm trying to work on now so I don't have to look for it outside myself. I know it hurts now, but maybe he wasn't the right person for you. Obviously there were much better ways to deal with his behavior than cheating. But sometimes even the best ways of dealing with it don't work because the other person isn't interested in changing. I once had a boyfriend that had a mean sense of humor like that. On many fronts we were absolutely perfect together and I did truly love him. But he a bit of a cruel streak. Although we broke up over other things, in retrospect I recall how stressful it was to have to constantly parry that humor of his. I wouldn't go out with someone like that again. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I couldn't figure out how to explain it in my own words, so here's an excellent explanation from Wiktionary: "only those who are faultless have the right to pass judgment upon others (implying that no one is faultless and that, therefore, no one has such a right to pass judgment)" Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 A biblical reference. I think it is evident what it means. A woman found in adultery was about to be stoned............. I have always been curious about the reference and story. I mean, where was the guy......? Link to comment
LaHermes Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 PwL: It was a very long time ago. VERY long ago. Kind of 2000 years........ Present day parameters did not apply. Link to comment
Hell_On_Heels Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 That is true. I guess at the end of the day if both people aren't invested then the relationship is over, no matter the reason. My ex isn't invested anymore and there's nothing I can do unless he changes his mind himself Ok, I'm gonna be a mom here and say stop painting your ex with a rosy glow. There were serious problems in the relationship. You wrote that the person you cheated with made you feel good about yourself, while your ex was making you feel bad. Don't forget about that part. The fact is there were 2 of you, and each of you made mistakes. You are learning and growing from yours. Yet, you're putting everything on your shoulders. What about his mistakes? I'm not saying to blame him for your choices. I AM saying to look clearly at both of you, and see if he was really someone you want(ed). If you are truly honest, I think you will discover the answer is no. I doubt that you want to be with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. As for the cheater reputation and online attacks, they are venomous because they are in pain. It's not an excuse - just a reminder to look at who and what is behind the hurtful words. As for you, it takes a lot of courage to admit when we've screwed up, and to change that about ourselves. Brava to you! You will be fine. Link to comment
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