How to recover from a sudden breakup?

[corrineg95]

Hello. I suffered a very out of the blue breakup months ago, and it still is effecting me today. My boyfriend and I were very close, and had just recently bought a pet together and were making plans to move in together the week we broke up. I woke up one morning to him throwing up, telling me that we needed to break up. He cried hysterically,ran around my house, called all of our friends and even my parents and sobbed "It's over,it's over". He also rolled on the floor hysterically and told me we can't speak again. It was quite a shock to me, given how his attitude never changed. There were no signs that he had lost interest. I found out later that his friends had pressured him to not be in such a serious relationship at such a young age.

 

I was his first serious relationship, and also,convenietly,the relationship he seemed to get over the quickest. With his last girlfriend, who he had a very tumultuous relationship with, and wasn't very close to,he met up with her later to explain the breakup. With me,he told a mutual friend he can not call me or see me in person because he doesn't want to cave on his decision. It hurt a lot to see someone who was so caring-almost obsessively so- when we were together not give a second thought to you after. He became a different person overnight. He was cold and refused to speak to anyone about the breakup.

 

He even started dating quickly too, which shocked his family and friends. He met an exchange student from Russia,who will be returning home soon anyway. Even though the chances of this relationship going anywhere is slim, it is still very hurtful to see how he moved on within a week. With the other girlfriends, he took 5-6 months before he believed he was ready to date again. His best friend told me it was almost like he was suppressing the incident as if it was something traumatic. 9 months after the breakup, I found out that he is making family members remove all pictures of us. It is very hurtful. I have no idea what changed-we barely fought and he acted as crazy about me at the end just as he did in the beginning. I don't know why our pictures would effect him.

 

In retrospect, I see how abnormal his behavior was. That last week he was crying over me leaving him. I made a pun off the song "Say Something I'm Giving up on you" and he erupted into tears. If I was ever quiet, he would break down and cry too,thinking something was wrong. I remember rolling away from him in bed once and he started crying. It was odd, but I knew he was very emotional. Just that week I told him I may just stay at my university instead of transferring to his,which made him sob thinking I was going to leave him. He is extremely irrational and unstable really, but the breakup has still severely hurt me.

 

He was my best friend, and we spent everyday together. There were no walls up between us. It just hurts me to see how someone I knew so well could change overnight. He had both of our families and friends fooled too. Everyone was shocked that he did this, and I even had his parents call me to tell me how surprised they were that he did this. When we were dating, he was the perfect boyfriend. Everyone believed we would marry, and I'm scared now I will never meet anyone who I got along with so well as him. anyone have any advice on how to recover from a very sudden breakup? Just the shock of it made hard. I don't want him back. Frankly,I just want to be able to move on, and learn how to trust again.

[reinventmyself]

As much as this hurt, especially because you didn't see this coming, you'll look back and thank him for leaving some day.

He sounds very immature and unstable. He is no where near being ready for a mature relationship.

I don't think it's much of a surprise that he dated someone that was leaving soon either.

 

And you will move on, not as fast as you might like to but you will. Be patient and just know that everything you are feeling is normal.

[corrineg95]

I should also add that we have not spoken since the breakup. We went no contact and I have never broken it or called him. I've only seen him once in passing, where he stopped and started at me. Once he asked to attend a small social event that I was going to be at, but then backed out at the end because I was going (which he knew in the first place)