Ghostbusted broken heart, please help!

[Mern17]

Thank you in advance for you advice.

I met someone a year ago while in a very very unhappy in a marriage, (divorce in process). I feel totally in love as did he (he also is divorced).

We spent all the time we could together from April until September, while enduring the hardships of our lives (me divorce, he has a 4 yo and is going to school FT for a different degree. I am 45 he is 41. During that time we spent together (4-9) we were totally in love and planned to spend the rest of lives together

In September, he wanted to see me, (OH he also has major trust issues from his childhood etc.) He said to me " My heart is telling me to never let u go, but my mind says I have to" He went on to explain FT School (Chiropractor), his daughter, my marriage had not ended, his lack of funding etc. He said you will find someone that will make you happier.

I was devastated. I thought that my soul mate had arrived. I have never been in love with someone like that,

as he said the same thing.

We could not separate it is too hard so we made a schedule of when we could see each other and still maintain school, work, etc. That seemed to be working, but at the end of October, he became a ghost, all through November (i had left gifts for his daughters bday at his house with letters to him)Nothing. No email no calls no texts. I had been ghosted. I was so depressed.

Dec 30. we had a chance encounter where we literally bumped in to each other on a sidewalk at night. He seemed good and I was starting to feel better as well. I could see intensity and love in his eyes. he asked if I wanted to go for a hike in the snow, NYE day (next day). We did and had been back together completely in love until the middle of April when he ghosted again then 4 weeks later I received a text stating" I cant see you anymore, my life is completely Fkcdojf up, you deserve someone so much better than me" and I have not heard from him since. I love him and I believe he loves me. Should I make an effort (he totally ignores any text and in fact I may be blocked) or start the healing process? PLEASE ADVISE.......

[reinventmyself]

I get the sense that there is something he's not telling you.

Do you have guess as to what that might be?

[HeartGoesOn]

Should I make an effort (he totally ignores any text and in fact I may be blocked) or start the healing process? PLEASE ADVISE.......

 

No. While going through a divorce, it's not the time to be looking for a soul mate/relationship, (imo). Not only do you need the time to heal, you need the time to get your life back together.

[SooSad33]

The first few months, to year of a relationship, is the honeymoon stage. Is so often Always so good!

But, also, in that time, do you both see IF this is going to go on.. or not.

 

Sadly, sounds like too much for him to handle.

 

And might I suggest to NOT jump into it all so fast, when you meet. Take time to get to know them.. and caution with your Heart.

 

YOU were not happy with your marriage and were opting out of it. But. you're not all out of it.. yet.

IMO.. I feel, becuase of all that negativity.. yes, getting involved again with someone new.. was awesome!

But now... reality is hitting. And sounds like he just isn't up for all of this.

 

Best for you.. is to move on. And work on accepting this isn't going to work. He keeps backing away.

 

Work on yourself now. At working on accepting the facts.. and healing.

Don't chase.. beg, etc. That's not appealing.

 

Respect his choice.. and don't be his go-to.. should he want to have a go at it, again.. cause he is bored.

You know now, it's not what he is wanting.

 

Sorry