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One Month Into Break Up


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I've posted a few different threads on here about my situation, but it keeps updating and Im still confused and need some input... This is the whole story but Im leaving out a lot of minor details, but they can be found if they are necessary. Thanks in advance if you take the time to read all of this The most recent and my most questioned moves are the last 4-5 "paragraphs" so if you dont want to read everything, look at those please.


My ex broke up with me just over a month ago. We were together over a year and talked about marriage and kids and the whole nine yards. Even two weeks before we broke up I got a long text from her saying she appreciated me and i would never be out of her life. After we broke up, she blocks me on everything and disregards the vacation I bought for us, that was suppose to happen a few days after we broke up. Didnt even tell me she wasnt going to come. Once she sees that I actually still went without her, she contacted me. We talk, nothing too much though. Around this time I hear she has been hanging with another guy a few times since we broke up (this was only a week or two later) but she tells me he is nothing serious. I beg a little for her back, she wants nothing to do with it, so I go on with myself and enjoy the vacation. She deleted everything to do with me off her social media, which was a lot, and started hanging out with friends that are into partying, etc. which she isnt the type to do.


A week after I got back from vacation, we meet up for me to give her her stuff back. She was about to move into my house, and had a ton of stuff here. I think that has a lot to do with her breaking up, but I will get to that later. Everything goes well while we are together. I get her alone (she came with a friend) to talk to her about things. She started crying immediately and I told her to stop. We talked about trying things again in a few weeks and she seemed all about it. We had a long hug and she even stuck an oreo in my mouth like she is comfortable with me still. Later that night she freaks out on me and is mean saying to basically leave her alone, so i did. We texted very short hardly anything the next few days, and then I eventually go no contact.


No contact lasts for a week exactly, and I get an email from her with a letter that is a few pages long. Basically saying that she still misses me and thinks about me and loves me, but now is not the right time for us to be together... which is understandable, but for love you need to make things work so i dont know how i stand about that. She also mentioned that "there will always be a second chance with you" which is weird to me. but anyway, I texted her that we needed to talk and we found a time to talk on the phone later that evening. It doesnt go very well, Im basically begging for her back again reminiscing on the memories and she is just shutting them down saying she doesnt want to be with me. We were talking about meeting to have dinner to talk face to face, but she was making dumb excuses about money and other things that I know were fake. I let it go and just said shes confused and Im willing to help but she would have to let me.


After we hang up I get a long text from her saying she has been hanging with this other guy basically every day and is happier now than she has been in a long time. It hurt me im not going to lie, but I was respectful about it. I asked her if they were dating and she said she knows he likes her, but he also knows that she doesnt want a relationship right now. At this point I told her Im not going to be a doorstop, it isnt fair to either of us or our future partners. She also swears that they werent talking before we broke up, but who knows. I was pretty on top of who she talked to (potentially some of why we split) so I really dont think they were talking while we were dating.


I dont follow her on social media anymore, but my friends follow her and I hadnt told a lot of them about the split. They texted me asking me why she was posting instagram pictures with him and always tweeting about him...


I see every sign that relates to a rebound relationship and "grass is greener" things. He is into the same hobbies as me, she isnt acting herself (partying, not getting a summer job), she was about to move away from her family which she is very close to, we are pretty young (20), and shes super back and forth about me...


Just last week, we ended up texting because she was in a twitter fight, which is also very unlike her, and our conversation got out of hand. I had my fair share to drink, and she was super mad that I was at a bar with my friends. So at the time I felt like it was a good idea to show her new boy her letter about missing me. Didnt go well with her. Woke up to a text cussing me out saying she hates me and to never contact her again. I just replied "didnt plan to" and that was that.


Well, since that happened she has texted me twice now. Once, asking about getting my birthday gift back?? I replied "no" and she sent two more texts that I didnt answer to. Then last night someone tweeted about her, and I favorited it and then she texts me all mad that I favorited it. She had all kinds of attitude so I gave some back, but I stopped replying after she started talking bad about my friends and questioning what I spend my money on.


Im just trying to figure out why she is still contacting me. At this point in time, I dont think I would take her back right now, because we do need some space. But I do miss her, and down the road I would like to try to rekindle things because we both know what we had was special and will always be deep in our hearts. I still think about her 24/7 even when im with my friends. It seems like its never going to stop. She will always hold a special place in my heart and I hate that we are getting off on bad terms.


I plan on doing no contact now for about a month. There is a event we go to every year next month that I know she will be at and I know we will see each other.


Thanks for reading if you made it this far!! Any advice is helpful!

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How old is she? She sounds young and immature.


It sounds like she is playing a lot of games. Sounds like she wants to move on and done her own thing but doesn't want you to move on. Why else would she be "happy" with another guy but keep contacting you telling you she misses you, etc.


Dude go contact immediately, block her on everything. Don't let her string you along and play these child games with you. She'll eventually move on while doing this while you'll be sitting wondering what all this behaviour is like.


If you can't do that, then tell her straight up and ask if she wants to be with you? If she doesn't and says no then tell her you respect her decision and then just block her and move on. Don't play her games, don't let her get to you, and don't let her continue to disrespect you as a person.


Best thing you can do is move on, find a woman worthy of your love and be happy.


Good luck man

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