Boyfriend lying to me about smoking

[brianna99]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now, we live together and when we first started dating he was never a smoker and was in fact against smoking. However he now hangs out with people who do smoke, and started smoking. Now he knows that I am completely against smoking, it's grimy, it makes your clothes stink and I never got to meet my granddad because he died when my mum was just 6 years old as a direct result of smoking.

 

So I found out he started smoking as he kept coming home smelling of it, when i questioned him he was honest and said yes he had been smoking, and made a promise not to smoke anymore as i meant more to him than smoking. However a few months back i discovered a massive stash under the bed of ciggies, baccy etc. So...he had been lying and broke a promise, once again he promised no more. However today we went to a bbq with his mates from work and one of his colleagues let the cat out the bag slightly, and since i do not trust him at all i checked his phone earlier and there you have a message to a work colleague "my girlfriends coming and she doesn't know i smoke so please don't mention it"

 

So of course I questioned him and he is straight up lying to my face saying he doesn't smoke anymore!!

 

I am at a total loss, i love this man with all my heart but right now i am hurting so much because I've lost all trust and this is the third lie, the third broken promise! I really don't know what to do, I really don't want this to be the end of us

[abitbroken]

I think this is the result of moving the relationship too fast. You live with him already, yet you only dated a year. In otherwords, you moved in right away without truly knowing him. He could have smoked before he met you and protested smoking so fervently because he wanted to date you and you were passionate about it. maybe he took a break from smoking or what have you. This is who he is. So, you are living with a smoker and a liar. He didn't just smoke once - he is asking his friends to cover up for him. And by the way, the same mates would cover for him if he decided to cheat, too. Yes, it may be should be the end of you - find someone who is honest and doesn't smoke since that is something very important to you. Its not like he was a chain smoker and you tried to change him - you purposefully were trying to date a nonsmoker.

 

I honestly think you should move out, or he should and you should going forward not rush into a relationship so fast.