ralphio Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Hi guys, I am getting married in 2 months. We had a long engagement and didn't really start planning until after a year of being engaged. I asked my best man and three close friends to be groomsmen. I never got around to asking the other three friends I planned on having if they would like to be groomsmen. We are going on a bachelor party next week (just the groomsmen and three other guys). Is it too late to ask them on the trip? I don't want them to think I waited to ask them last or that nobody else could be it and they are last resort (which is not true). Will this be awkward and will they feel pressured to say yes? Only reason I am worried is because it is so late in the game. Maybe I could ask them privately after the bachelor party at a dinner. I didn't want to text them or call, I wanted to ask them in person, and we all have been so busy I haven't got a chance to get the whole group together in awhile. I have seen them many times separately since the engagement, just not all together, and also we really didn't start planning until after some time. Thanks for any advice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 I feel it is too late, yes. People in wedding parties usually plan their money and time off according. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaggerJim Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 I'd just throw it out there, and if they decline they decline. Some might feel miffed that they were not asked at all, so if you ask, chances are they will probably say no. It's a 50/50. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 I would ask as well, why not? It's either a yes, or no, and they are your friends after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Seven groomsmen is a bit excessive, no? its way too late if you are already to the point of the bacehlor party (that means the wedding is within a week or two of that, right?") That's a huge expense for tuxes, shoes, etc, for them. Its too little too late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Agreed with the expense thing. It'll put them in a weird place to refuse too so you may be putting them on the hook for hundreds of dollars. Only ask if you're prepared to foot the bill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinydance Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Well I think it's still OK to ask them but if you're asking them to be groomsmen then you should invite them to your bachelor party too, right? Otherwise they might be offended... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Well I think it's still OK to ask them but if you're asking them to be groomsmen then you should invite them to your bachelor party too, right? Otherwise they might be offended... OP said the other guys are going to the party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 how would you feel if someone asked you to be a groomsman a week before the wedding? I am not talking about the situation that my cousin had where a groomsmen died weeks before the wedding and the groomsmen's brother was asked to step in to honor him. This is like doubling your wedding party. And i would feel like i was an afterthought if someone asked me at the last minute like that. How about the bride? is she okay with this - or does she have 7 bridesmaids and you are scrambling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ralphio Posted May 31, 2017 Author Share Posted May 31, 2017 it is 2 and a half months before the wedding. I am also super awkward with asking people stuff which is a whole other topic lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ralphio Posted May 31, 2017 Author Share Posted May 31, 2017 the bachelor party is basically the 4 people I asked (close cousins/friends I've known the longest). Plus the other guys I want to ask but haven't yet. If we are all sitting down at dinner I thought to say something like, "hey since we are all finally together thought I'd ask you all here to be groomsmen". I wanted to have everyone together but with busy schedules haven't been able to do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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