Just when you think you made progress

[Meko]

I posted earlier this week about a situation and thought that I had made a step towards the positive when later the next day he apologized. Then this happened ....this morning we are sitting in the couch and while watching a movie a man in a scene gets angry at a young child for asking him questions. He finally yells to shut the F up. He then turns to me and says yeah that's right if you keep asking questions that's what you get. You need to learn to shut the F up. You get what you deserve. I said ok where did that come from? He said what I'm just telling you. I said ok that was unnecessary we were supposed to be past this point you shouldn't have done that. And he starts says yeah ok I can see this relationship between us probably ain't gonna work cause you probably gonna leave me one day. And just walks away. What am is supposed to make of this? Sometimes think he like to argue.

[WombatShadow]

He's dancing the classic abuse waltz. Super nice, then horrifically mean out of the blue, then apologetic, then super nice, then horrifically mean out of the blue...he's likely going to continue to escalate. I mean, you two were just watching a movie and he used it as a chance to belittle you and hurt you.

 

You should take him up on his thought about you leaving and skedaddle.

[LaHermes]

Meko:

 

Where is your self-respect, your sense of self-worth!

 

He then turns to me and says yeah that's right if you keep asking questions that's what you get. You need to learn to shut the F up

 

He is plain abusive. Verbally abusive. What is so good about this individual?

 

Get this book:

 

"Why does he do That" by Lundy Bancroft

 

"Bancroft, reminds readers that each year in this country, two to four million women are assaulted by their partners and that at least one out of three American women will be a victim of violence by a husband or boyfriend at some point in her life. His valuable resource covers early warning signs, ten abusive personality types, the abusive mentality, "

[ParisPaulette]

Classic abuser lines. He was happy to see someone in a movie "emulate" the type of behavior he agrees with.

 

Why you are staying with this guy expecting him to be a normal person is beyond me, no one who is sane tells others to shut the F up when they keep asking questions. But abusive people think that's "normal."

 

He's right, a relationship won't work between you two, because - and I really hope this is the case - you won't let him be abusive. Dump his butt and never look back is the only advice I'm going to give you.

 

He's dancing the classic abuse waltz. Super nice, then horrifically mean out of the blue, then apologetic, then super nice, then horrifically mean out of the blue...he's likely going to continue to escalate. I mean, you two were just watching a movie and he used it as a chance to belittle you and hurt you.

 

^^^^^ THIS! ^^^^^ It's called the Cycle of Abuse and you are already in it. The Lundy Bancroft book is great BTW. My fellow ENAers have given you gold advice, we hope you take it and end things and walk away, because this will only get worse.

[Jeetsun]

He sounds like a douchebag. You don't deserve that kind of abuse and if you allow it, it will take a seat in your subconscious and will destroy you from the inside out. I would implore you to get out asap.