Should I tell her how I feel?

[Fracturedheart]

Hi,

 

So long story short a girl I fell for ended up moving away and would not do a LDR, citing she didn't believe they worked. Although she didn't want to do a LDR I ended up getting strung along while she was seeing other guys. After I ended up telling her how I felt about everything she ended up apologizing for how she treated me and all that. I forgave her.

 

Looking back now I suspect she only apologized cause she felt guilty and wanted to clear her conscious. I thought she was being genuine but now I'm not sure.

 

Anyway, it looks like she is in a LDR with someone else and needless to say I'm hurting. It's hard to not look at that and see I wasn't good enough and that I was just being used until she found someone better and it looks like she finally has.

 

I'm going through so much emotions right now it's hard to comprehend: sadness, hurt, betrayal, anger and much more.

 

We haven't spoken in well over 3 months but part of me wants to reach out and tell her that I think she is an awful person and is very selfish. I know I shouldn't do it and I won't however I just don't know what I've done to deserve to be treated so bad. I don't want to give all the details for privacy reasons but I'm a very giving and loyal person and it's terrible to think someone I cared so deeply for could and would want to take advantage of that.

 

Part of me wonders if she even thinks about me anymore. I wonder if she realizes that she told me I wasn't worth the effort to make things work while then giving someone else that opportunity.

[Blueboy1878]

3 months? You gotta learn to let things go and not be bitter about it, you know you was true to yourself and allowed yourself to fall for her whilst she fed you lies and was dishonest, so how was this girl waited for someone better than you? When u was the one better than her to begin with, there's plenty of girls out there for you man this ones not worth any of your time thinking about, she's done you a favour not getting with her, deserve better than her

[Hollyj]

3 months? You gotta learn to let things go and not be bitter about it, you know you was true to yourself and allowed yourself to fall for her whilst she fed you lies and was dishonest, so how was this girl waited for someone better than you? When u was the one better than her to begin with, there's plenty of girls out there for you man this ones not worth any of your time thinking about, she's done you a favour not getting with her, deserve better than her

 

You need to take your own advice.

[Hollyj]

Op,

 

I'm sorry that you are hurt. it has nothing to do with you not being good enough. Sometimes the connection is not mutual, and with the distance she realized this.

 

I would block her, and in time you will move on. Please do not reach out to her.

[Careerchoice]

It's hard to not look at that and see I wasn't good enough and that I was just being used until she found someone better and it looks like she finally has.

 

Don't do that. A couple of different ways to look at it. One view is that of "fit". If you two weren't a good fit, it has nothing to do with your inherent worth as a man or human being. You just need to find someone who is a better fit.

 

Another view is that of your perceptions of the world and how you communicate with others. You could do some self improvement to make you better able to attract the opposite sex.

 

We haven't spoken in well over 3 months but part of me wants to reach out and tell her that I think she is an awful person and is very selfish.

 

For your own personal growth and for your own closure, I think it would be a good idea to do this. Get better at speaking what's on your mind.

[boltnrun]

She will most likely ignore you completely.

 

You won't get an apology, she won't say "Gee, you're right. I made a terrible mistake! Let's get back together!"

 

Even if you say that's not what you want, deep down inside I think you want her to regret her decision and rethink it.

 

Anyway, you sending her a nasty gram will do nothing except make you 1) feel foolish or 2) send you back to Day One of the hurt and pain.

 

Instead of focusing on her, how about realizing there is a woman out there who won't make you feel awful?

[Fracturedheart]

I'm not sure I'll be good enough for anybody. No matter what I do, it's never enough.

[boltnrun]

You'll be "good enough" for the right person. But you'll never make it work with the wrong person. She was wrong for you.

[catfeeder]

I ended up getting strung along while she was seeing other guys.

 

Naaah, you strung yourself along. It's never wise to view our own voluntary behavior through a passive lens that claims it's something that's been inflicted upon us. That's a victim mentality, and it will beat you up your entire life if you don't correct it.

 

When someone says 'no,' that's all any self respecting person needs to hear in order to walk away. Sticking around to play the martyr friend is the opposite of self respect, and so, it will prompt the opposite of respectful treatment.

 

...part of me wants to reach out and tell her that I think she is an awful person and is very selfish. I know I shouldn't do it and I won't however I just don't know what I've done to deserve to be treated so bad.

 

Telling yourself that people take advantage of you because you're so giving will just set you up to repeat the same pattern until you learn to stop manipulating. I'd reach for my best dignity and move forward with confidence that you'll never repeat the same mistake again.

 

Head high.