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Why does my boyfriend watch porn??


paigeylou94

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My partner of 6 years has been watching porn everyday, he lies about needing the toilet when aactually hrs watching porn, I've said to him he can ask me anytime he wants something, he has videos and pictures of us which he know he can have more of if need be but he'd still rather watch porn, is it me? Is it because he might not be attracted to me anymore? It's hurting and making me feel useless!! What shull I do?

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A partner watching porn wouldn't bother me. Having sex and watching porn are two different things and one doesn't invalidate the other nor says anything about his feelings for you. And why is it that having pictures of you has to prevent him from watching other stuff?

 

I'd be concerned however if he watches porn all the time, lies and if he starts to prefer porn to real life sex, because that can indicate an addiction (there are people addicted to porn like there are people addicted to gambling or drugs), and once again if that's the case it has nothing to do with you or your worth... it means that he has an addiction that needs to be addressed through therapy and methods like any other addiction.

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Looking at images of other people does not mean he's cheating on you. We're all always going to feel attraction to other people. If he's doing that in his own privacy thats ok, if he were to be doing that in real life that would be a problem. We all have our private, secret worlds and part of a relationship is to give the other that privacy.

 

He shouldn't be and shouldn't have to be reporting that he's going to the toilet. You know whats been going on in the toilet, which means you've asked him or he's told you. What happens in the toilet, stays in the toilet. As long as its not in real life, its not a problem.

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My partner of 6 years has been watching porn everyday, he lies about needing the toilet when aactually hrs watching porn, I've said to him he can ask me anytime he wants something, he has videos and pictures of us which he know he can have more of if need be but he'd still rather watch porn, is it me? Is it because he might not be attracted to me anymore? It's hurting and making me feel useless!! What shull I do?

 

Why do you take it so personally? It's not about you... its about him and his private time which all people are entitled to even when they are in a relationship. So: Really, why do you take it so personally?

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Hi there, I understand where you're coming from and I wouldn't be okay with that either. It all comes down to YOUR morals and beliefs and what YOU personally will accept in a relationship. For me personally, my partner watching porn would be a deal breaker- other people may feel differently but for me personally it is. If it is irking you I would encourage you to talk it through with him, tell him your feelings on the subject and assess how he reacts/if you can compromise. If this moral of his Is incompatible with the character you want in a man long term, you may need to ask if this is the right man for you xx

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Hi there, I understand where you're coming from and I wouldn't be okay with that either. It all comes down to YOUR morals and beliefs and what YOU personally will accept in a relationship. For me personally, my partner watching porn would be a deal breaker- other people may feel differently but for me personally it is. If it is irking you I would encourage you to talk it through with him, tell him your feelings on the subject and assess how he reacts/if you can compromise. If this moral of his Is incompatible with the character you want in a man long term, you may need to ask if this is the right man for you xx

 

What about violent films, would he be allowed to watch violent films or is that a deal breaker also? Does he have to come home at a certain time? What about his thoughts, what is he allowed to think?

 

Sorry for the sarcasm but what your suggesting here is control and censorship of what someone can and cannot do in their own private space. We don't own someones head space when in a relationship with them, no one has to report in to someone else as to what they watch, unless they are a child.

 

Whether your partner watches porn or not is ultimately no ones business but their own.

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There are actually men out there who don't watch porn. All I'm saying is if she doesn't want a man who watches porn - find him. It comes down to each persons individual standards. These are mine. It is not an attack on anyone else.

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Errr. The OP has been with this man for SIX years. She hasn't just met him a week ago and discovered now he watches porn. Yet six years later the porn watching (which as OP remarks "every day" so therefore presumably over the six years) has now become an issue.

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My partner of 6 years has been watching porn everyday, he lies about needing the toilet when aactually hrs watching porn, I've said to him he can ask me anytime he wants something, he has videos and pictures of us which he know he can have more of if need be but he'd still rather watch porn, is it me? Is it because he might not be attracted to me anymore? It's hurting and making me feel useless!! What shull I do?

 

If you're religious, help him find spiritual guidance. It might help if you explain your feelings about this and how you're neglected and feeling unattractive. This is considered a form of adultery in the Catholic Church, and I agree. Regardless of religion, porn does distort a man's mind away from real sex. Sex becomes about a bodily function and release rather than the beautiful shared experience it was meant to be.

 

Your only mistake was being "cool" about porn and letting him carry on like that. Now, the damage is done and he needs professional and more importantly, spiritual help. Women shouldn't tolerate their men behaving like that.

 

Don't listen to the porn lovers who ALWAYS will defend porn. They lie. Porn is bad for men and marriage.

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Hi there, I understand where you're coming from and I wouldn't be okay with that either. It all comes down to YOUR morals and beliefs and what YOU personally will accept in a relationship. For me personally, my partner watching porn would be a deal breaker- other people may feel differently but for me personally it is. If it is irking you I would encourage you to talk it through with him, tell him your feelings on the subject and assess how he reacts/if you can compromise. If this moral of his Is incompatible with the character you want in a man long term, you may need to ask if this is the right man for you xx

Good luck finding a guy that you actually like who doesn't watch porn.

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Good luck finding a guy that you actually like who doesn't watch porn.

 

There are actually men out there who don't watch porn. All I'm saying is if she doesn't want a man who watches porn - find him. It comes down to each persons individual standards. These are mine. It is not an attack on anyone else.

 

So naïve ...

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ED. Oh, believe me, we are on topic!!!

 

And this institution you are always harping on about, it sure leaves a lot to be desired.

 

However, as you have been reminded on here multiple times this is not a preaching site.

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