MC87 Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Everything was fine until my husband left me without an explanation. I sat and cried for several days, posted things on social media until my ex fiancée saw it and messaged me. My ex has made me forget my pain and has been nothing but supportive. I am finally smiling again. It has been 12 years since I left my ex fiancée but he still cares enough to help me in my time of need. I am about to go visit my family and my ex fiancée back in my home town. We have talked about the reason for our break up and realized it was a mix up in communication. He meant one thing and I took it another way. We have decided to get back together after all this time but my family does not know about him yet/ at all. When we dated 12 years ago I was not talking to my family at all. It was a year after the break up before I saw my family so I never mentioned him. How can I hide him from my family until we are ready to open up about the whole situation? His family already knows all the details including that he is ready to pick up where we left off. My family has always wanted me to be with a certain type of guy and he does not fit their criteria due to a disability that is not his fault. He was a victim of a hit and run as a child while riding his bike. He spent a month in a coma and was left physically disabled. He is also coming home with me on my return flight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Oh God! Don't you think the healthy thing would be to process the end of your marriage, not jump to another man! Sounds like you have difficulty being alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominique Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 I would suggest not hiding him. He's the man you choose to be with. Your family needs to be given the chance to be on board or not. It's not healthy to start a relationship in hiding. You should respect your family and your relationship enough to be open. If they choose to not accept him, too bad for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC87 Posted May 27, 2017 Author Share Posted May 27, 2017 The marriage was over the second my husband decided to leave. I know he is not coming back and I have filed for a divorce. This was not my first marriage. It was 3 months of talking to my ex about everything with the divorce and my husband before we decided to rekindle our relationship. I have been healing for 3 months and my husband has not tried to come back or even check on our child. I don't need someone because I don't want to be alone. I'm willing to give him a second chance because he has been a support system. Yes I do hurt because my marriage has ended, but don't I deserve some happiness. PS my husband already has another woman and she is pregnant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC87 Posted May 27, 2017 Author Share Posted May 27, 2017 He knows I'm afraid because my family would be hard on him. My family that lives near me has seen the changes in me over the past few months. The family where i live now knows. I want my family back home to get to know him for him and not hate him just because he is a boyfriend or someone else that could possibly hurt me. I am planning on telling them all at a family reunion after a few meetings with the hardest nut to crack in the family AKA my mother. My father passed away when I was a kid so she had to be tough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominique Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 I wish you the best. Be happy in this life. You deserve that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 This post has red flags galore. I have been healing for 3 months and my husband has not tried to come back or even check on our child I'm willing to give him a second chance because he has been a support system. Yes I do hurt because my marriage has ended, but don't I deserve some happiness. PS my husband already has another woman and she is pregnant. These statements say one thing to me: r e b o u n d. You're hurting. Your ex has rushed into another relationship, so you're running to low hanging fruit - a guy who still has a thing for you. Do him and yourself a favor and SLOW DOWN. Otherwise someone's going to wind up hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 How do you hide a person because they have a disability??? You don't . If your family gives him a hard time you tell them to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. You do not " hide" a person. I have a son with a developmental disability and if someone wanted to hide him because family would not approve I would tell him to run hard and fast from the ableism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 It sounds like you are using this guy as a rebound. Deal with your divorce, and if it's meant to be, contact him when you are no longer married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Deserving happiness is not synonymous with jumping in to a relationship you're not ready for. I predict in 3 months you come back on here lamenting your failed relationship and asking what you did wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordRorek Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 My advice to you would be to tell him that you are really vulnerable right now and if you guys could take things slowly. Start as friends for awhile and see where things go from there. You are in an extremely vulnerable state and as such are not in the right state to be making decisions about your love life right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominique Posted May 28, 2017 Share Posted May 28, 2017 Do what you need to do to be happy in this life. If you feel this is right, then give it your best. I wish you love and peace and light. I wish you the best of happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted May 28, 2017 Share Posted May 28, 2017 This just screams of rebound. You haven't seen him fort 12 years. Do you know for sure if he's in a relationship or not? You really need some time out to get over your marriage break up. Time to heal, not jump into the next relationship without coming up for air. You're shooting yourself in the foot here, but I guess that won't stop you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted May 28, 2017 Share Posted May 28, 2017 You would be far better to process the end of your marriage and learn to be single and happy. Jumping into a rebound won't work and won't bring you happiness. It will only mask the underlying pain you are too afraid to deal with, but that pain will bubble to the surface eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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