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Constantly looking at EXs social media how do I stop?


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Is there anyway to stop this ridiculous obsession? She blocked me and I've blocked her but her accounts are all non-private so I can just go on google and look, and I do, atleast 5+ times a day. Why can't I stop? I know she is already seeing someone new, why can't I just stop it!! Its stopping me from moving on. Constant urges to look, and I'll say to myself no, don't look but I end up looking.

 

Anyone have any ideas?

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That you are aware of it and are looking for a means to stop it happening means you are already on the path away from it. Stating you have a problem is the first stage of dealing with it.

 

Find other thingsto do, try to stay off social media for a while. Delete flapbook, instaspam and twatter from your phone and do something else. It might only be for a couple of weeks or a month, but you need to distance your from the habit you ahve formed in doing so.

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Is there anyway to stop this ridiculous obsession? She blocked me and I've blocked her but her accounts are all non-private so I can just go on google and look, and I do, atleast 5+ times a day. Why can't I stop? I know she is already seeing someone new, why can't I just stop it!! Its stopping me from moving on. Constant urges to look, and I'll say to myself no, don't look but I end up looking.

 

Anyone have any ideas?

 

Start by deleting all social media APPS from your phone. These are the easiest way to 'check up' so make sure that's not possible.

 

The google thing is strange. You need to restrain yourself. Get an elastic band and put it on your wrist. Pull it hard whenever you even consider going to search for her on google. And I mean hard. Eventually you'll associate the action with physical (as well as emotional) pain and won't want to do it anymore.

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I've made that mistake and hurt myself in a masochistic way looking at his social media and his girlfriend social media. Not so many times as you, but once or twice was enough to hurt me deeply. But then I had to stop because this sets back the healing a lot. I'd try to do a 30 days detox of social media snooping like many people here do the 30 days NC challenge. Each day you congratulate yourself for not doing that until somehow you'll stop the addiction and won't even count the days.

 

Some things that might also help: delete everything about her from your browser history and install a "block site" extention on your browsers in which you block her page and other websites you might want. I know this might seem ridiculous and that it has to come from you to stop this, but sometimes we need to do all it takes until we get back on track on our own.

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I did the same thing and it hurt me as well and prevented me from moving on. All I can say is stop it. You have more self control than you think.

 

I unfollowed her at first which didn't work. Still checked up on her. Then unfriended her which also didn't work. I then blocked her but also found ways around that. I eventually had to deactivate all my social media accounts. Twitter, FB, Instagram, Snapchat. I deleted a lot of my apps! I kind of just detached from the world. I don't even look at my news app which has nothing to do with her. But I had an addiction to my phone which always led to me finding a way to check up on her. Now I've deleted all that stuff and am back in the Stone Age. I use my phone to text/call people, listen to music, and check email. That's it!

 

And it's helped me quite a bit. Not only to help me stop checking up on my ex but it's been nice not being so reliant on my phone in general. Like I said I'm kind of just living in my own world, focusing on me, and not caring what anyone else is doing.

 

Not saying you should go to that extreme but do whatever you have to. Again, you have the power to stop. You just have to decide to.

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I did the same thing and it hurt me as well and prevented me from moving on. All I can say is stop it. You have more self control than you think.

 

I unfollowed her at first which didn't work. Still checked up on her. Then unfriended her which also didn't work. I then blocked her but also found ways around that. I eventually had to deactivate all my social media accounts. Twitter, FB, Instagram, Snapchat. I deleted a lot of my apps! I kind of just detached from the world. I don't even look at my news app which has nothing to do with her. But I had an addiction to my phone which always led to me finding a way to check up on her. Now I've deleted all that stuff and am back in the Stone Age. I use my phone to text/call people, listen to music, and check email. That's it!

 

And it's helped me quite a bit. Not only to help me stop checking up on my ex but it's been nice not being so reliant on my phone in general. Like I said I'm kind of just living in my own world, focusing on me, and not caring what anyone else is doing.

 

Not saying you should go to that extreme but do whatever you have to. Again, you have the power to stop. You just have to decide to.

 

This.

 

Detach. Live.

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It's also a force of habit. I do this too! Don't beat yourself up. Even when you are totally over them, you like seeing how lame they get over time.

 

In the meantime, get rid of Facebook in your search history, so it makes it hard for you to sporadically go on there to look. Or if you are tempted, go to another website, or get up and do a lap around the office, say hi, or get coffee, or use the bathroom. Anything to break the habit.

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If you had something better to do and more interesting women to date you'd have no time for nor interest in this. You are leaving voids.

 

Gotta get me some, because I've been feeling huge masochistic social media snooping impulses too lol

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Treat it like a habit! If you ever have an urge to look at her profile, divert that urge to something more productive – like hitting up a friend or doing 5 push ups. especially since you are so cognizant of it, its helpful to identify what "reward" or gratification you get from looking at her profile. Emotional release? Reminder of your relationship? Some times after a break up, the pain and sting of it is all we have to remind ourselves that the relationship was real, and we crave it. Over time it will cease and sometimes you actually miss it, so once again, divert your energies to something healthier. Also it helps if you wear a rubber band on your wrist and everytime you look at her profile, stretch the rubber band so you become conditioned and avoid her profile. Another way is to tell yourself, if you are going to look at her profile, you have to go to the gym – probably healthier than just a smack on the wrist!

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