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Why am I so afraid to let go?

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Why am I afraid to let it all go (her, hope, etc) and accept it? I can feel myself about to accept the situation but then I stop myself. Is it because I'm afraid to feel what comes next? Has anyone else felt this long after it's clear that it's over?


Yes. You just delay the grief, that's all.

You can deal with it now or later but it's always there waiting for you.

I just as soon get it over with.

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It's been 5 months since it's been clearly over for me and I'm going through the same thing. It's normal.


How unhealthy/healthy is it to wait to deal with it until I've started dating again? At least then I'll have a distraction and something positive to shift my focus. It's what my ex did/is doing after all


I think waiting is overrated. Tomorrow is never promised and every day you wait to move on with your life is one day less that you have to find someone new. Other girls are a great distraction and can provide you with the ultimate solution. Give it a whirl.

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I've found it helpful to be more gentle with myself than trying to bash myself with acceptance. I just put it on the back burner while I focused instead on trying to show my strength to my family and friends by spending lots of time with them--and making that time about them, not me. Isolation would just drill a deeper hole to climb out of, and I while I wasn't able to enjoy much myself, I could at least enjoy a goal of creating great memories for loved ones. I was shocked to learn how much this healed me and kept me focused on healthier thinking.


Most suffering comes not from what we're not getting, but from what we're not giving.

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I've nearly lost my life a few times, that gives perspective. I don't trust nor love easily yet I'm willing to put myself out there. Losing trust is easy, losing love isn't. Yet life matters beyond all, the only life we can live is our own. I've had my heart broken many times, I live and learn. Stay strong and true to yourself. That is self respect and is irreplaceable.

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I know what you are going through and how you are feeling.


Distract yourself with friends & family. Keep yourself busy.


When you can't distract yourself, I found it helpful to make a "Pro/Con" list of the relationship. Write everything down objectively (perhaps recruit the help of a friend or family member).

I also made flash cards of all the painful things my ex did in my life.


Hope this helps.

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