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Feelings disrespected


Meko

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You're in a relationship where communication, which is key in any healthy relationship, is not possible and where you're being disrespected. Even if you were being annoying or anything, that's no way of talking to someone we love. Not knowing any of the back story and just based on this I'd say dump the guy and find someone less immature and disrespectful.

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Anytime there's a disagreement he uses the "I will break up with you" or. "Do you just wanna break up" I'm telling you, you better shut the F up or else" and when I tell him that what he says is hurtful and disrespectful he says I don't give a F. I've told him ppl who love each other don't speak to each other that way and he will say oh so now I don't love you, your crazy. He told me I "needed to learn and comprehend and until then he will not apologize for the way he talks to me because he is not changing and I need to adjust to how he is.

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Meko.

 

What drew you to this individual, and, what on earth do you get out of this verbally abusive relationship?

 

He didn't show his ugly side for several months. I guess I keep thinking he will see what he is doing is wrong and hurtful and make a change.

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Meko.

 

That is a classical scenario. He is at the demeaning stage, and will proceed to the destructive and discarding stage,

 

He is not going to change. The ugly side was always there, but he probably appeared "nice" at first.

 

You deserve better than this.

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He didn't show his ugly side for several months. I guess I keep thinking he will see what he is doing is wrong and hurtful and make a change.

 

Abusive people always start nice. Then they like to vary between being mean and abusive with being nice so that the other person stays with them in hopes that they'll show their good side again.

 

I could understand if a person was rude one time during difficult times... but this? No, this is who he is and he won't change. If you wait around it'll be much worse. If he doesn't respect you now, he won't respect you more if you keep putting up with it.

 

I can almost bet that if you told him to "eff off" and broke up with him by your own initiative, he'd run after you all nice and romantic, like the immature abusive person he is. Then he'd behave like this all over again once he saw that he had you in his hand again.

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Frankly, if he's threatening to break up - let him!

 

Using the entire relationship for the purposes of emotional blackmail is manipulative and abusive. Hanging on in there in the hope that the person you fell in love with will reappear is what keeps abusive relationships going; let yourself know that he was putting on an act in the early stages, what you're seeing now is the REAL him, and it isn't going to get better.

 

Let yourself know that the person you fell in love with DOESN'T EXIST. So go and find yourself someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Looking for this from him is like looking for diamonds in a sulphur mine; it just isn't going to happen.

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