NG110491 Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 I'm not the best in the dating scene and I've found myself in a fairly complicated situation. Since the beginning of the year, I've been finding myself more and more attracted to one of my coworkers. We've known each other for about a little over a year but only started interacting way more since January. Since then, we've hung out twice outside of work in a group with a few co-workers and after each time, we both went out of our way to say we generally enjoyed each other's company and had a great time hanging out specifically with one another. When we talk, we get along great and our personalities seem to match one another, and we have quite a few things in common. I helped her out getting through a difficult time she was having with another co-worker and we got closer because of it. Despite the fact that we're close - or seem to be close - I've heard from one or two people who knew her from before she started this job that she has a "reputation" and a "totally different side to her outside of work," as if I'm pursuing someone who's way out of my league. I've heard some bad stories of what she was like years ago but I never got even of a hint of that side of her at all from her the couple of times we hung out, though I guess that doesn't mean anything. From the sounds of it and from what I can piece together, it sounds like she used to be a very different person before she started this job two years ago and she now changed to the person I talk to now. Yet, there are a couple of people at work who constantly warn me about getting too close to her and tell me I need to be careful with her. Again, I don't get this at all from her and we talk a lot so I feel I would have gotten at least a hint of that by now and I haven't. At the same time, it's hard to confirm what she's really like outside of work because she also doesn't like going out too much (which was also confirmed by the same people who said she has this supposed bad reputation). The last time we hung out was last month and she's said since then - multiple times - we should hang out more in general. Yet every time I've asked her about meeting up since then, she mostly chooses to stay in over the weekend rather than hanging out and kind of shuts down when I try making plans with her. Keep in mind, each time I've asked to meet up, I ask as a friend and did not say we should go on a date. She claims she's burned out from work and not in the mood to go out whatever weekend it is I ask to meet up. The fact she's rejected making plans multiple times would normally make me think she's not interested. However, we work in an environment that requires putting in long hours at least a few times during the week so she may be telling the truth when she says this but at the same time I'm not sure. It's odd because outside of talking about hanging out, it's not like she's short with me or gives off the impression she dislikes talking to me. Her personality when we talk does not match the one other people described to me. Even as of late, we started either buying each other coffee in the morning or buying lunch for one another. She doesn't come off as being just being polite or that she's fake with me. There are so many factors that play into this situation it almost makes my head spin. We seem pretty close and I think I have feelings for her, which I'm hoping isn't my mind playing tricks on me just because we see each other every day. I get warned that she's essentially out of my league and that she's trouble, even though she doesn't give off that impression literally at all. And it's hard to tell because we don't typically hang out outside of work or text to each other on our days off, and it's been difficult making plans with her recently. She could easily think of me as a friend but once again it's hard to tell. Does it sound like I'm in way over my head? That I should stop trying to pursue and just be work friends? Am I just overthinking things? Part of me feels like this situation is way too complicated yet it's hard to move on when I see and talk to this person every day at work. Link to comment
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