Jump to content

Need some advice here


Floorguy

Recommended Posts

Soo after a month of my gf and I being back together sh wants to break up again...everything was going good the past month and she went to her friends house last night for drinks and texted me saying she can be with me anymore..she can't ge past the mean things I said to her in the past.. have lived together for 2.5 years and I jus don't know what to do anymor I love her to pieces and she loves me but I feel as if I don't have a chance this time...do I move out and just le her to do I try and convince her to stay I. Lost any feedback woke help plz

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Breaking up with someone is a huge step that most people put a lot of thought into, and is usually done because either they don't love you enough and you weren't important enough to try everything before calling it quits, or because they love you but you possess deal breakers. Past behavior predicts future behavior, which is why getting back together most often ends in another breakup. History is repeating itself. I don't know what epiphany or changes in behavior either of you could've had in a month, so when the newness of trying again faded for her and reality set in again, she was out of there.

 

On again, off again relationships signals that the person isn't the right one for you. She's not a good risk for your heart. Move on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've been doing everything I can to be better and I feel that I have been doing good....she was with a friend last night that absolutely does not like me and I know she was bad mouthing me to her....even her parents think we have a special relationship and want us to be together forever...I'm just lost and confused right now and being with out her is the worse feeling ever

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A person who you have to coerce, cajole, and convince that they should be with you is not the key to relationship success. The right person is 100% confident in being with you, and cannot be persuaded to break up with you because of what one friend thinks. It's going to take you a while to mourn and heal from this, but you will with proper closure, which means moving out and zero communication.

 

She is your past now, and you can eventually cherish the memories and see it as a good part of your life, but know that your fate lies elsewhere. Take this time to hang out with guy friends, get a new hobby if you don't already have one, and learn to be happy solo again before trying to date again. Learn from this relationship about things you need to improve on to be a better partner, since you say you said mean things to her that she couldn't get over. There is a way to argue without belittling a partner, so read some articles or books on relationship communication skills like the book, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Take care.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's not the friends decision it's hers the friend is just being supportive.

 

Start doing practical things like moving out, severing your finances. She has to come back and move out or get you to move out so you will see her again.

 

Do not stalk her or get her family involved, they do not call the shots. Stop the end runs, it's controlling and manipulative..

 

They clearly are on her side and will view this as a continuum of the obsessive, possessive and jealousy issues she left you over.

I've been doing everything I can to be better and I feel that I have been doing good.....even her parents think we have a special relationship and want us to be together forever.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

...do I move out and just le her to do I try and convince her to stay I. Lost any feedback woke help plz

 

Why should you move out? That's on her if she wants the breakup. Never operate against your own best interests.

 

I'd ask her to move out, and I'd stay off of her radar--it's the only shot you've got for her to miss you someday. If you try to convince her of anything right now, you'll work against yourself by making her feel resentful and manipulated. Skip that, let her go, and if the two of you were ever a meant-to-be deal you might meet again on higher ground someday.

 

Enough time and distance needs to occur before then, because nobody is interested in resuming the same exact relationship with the exact same person they just broke up with. Growth and change needs time to occur, and by staying away from her, you allow for fond memories to inspire some sentimentality down the road. If you attempt to pressure her, the opposite will occur--she'll snap away from you like a rubber band and feel nothing but relief that she got away from you with zero chance of sentimentality influencing her in the future.

 

Make it a private goal to surprise everyone, including yourself, with your resilience and ability to bounce back from this to create a whole new life for a whole new you. That's your percentage play, because it will inspire curiosity in her, and if she chooses to come back on her own, you'll be more able to trust that. If she never chooses to come back, then you'll already be on your best possible path to healing.

 

Head high.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the replies to everyone This is really hard for me...I'm trying to give her space but it's hard ...we love together and had a deep love for one another..:she has gone to her parents and is texting me but they are very brief messages and short...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The mean things I would say where along the lines of jealousy I know it's a turn off but I couldn't help it my emoations got the best of me .. has been a few months since I've be like that tho I've been nothing but sweet and nice and all off a sudden boom she dumps me for it I'm just lost and confused

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She told me she's doing this for her and it's the best thing for her and she has to do it for herself...she doesn't wanna see me right now cause she's trying to get through the week and seeing me would be very very hard...what should I do...not talking

to her at all is too hard I'm just soo lost right now...in the past I wouldn't care and would just move on but it's different this time I was about to propose to her in a few weeks now that's clearly not gonna happen 😢

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...