Why Do People Only Respond With A Few Words When Exchanging Emails?

[David92506]

I read a post on Yahoo Answers, where someone complained that she has to "carry" the conversation with the men she meets with online dating. Why don't the other people (in her case, men) put in any effort or energy when exchanging emails? She will write a nice email and he will respond, "Cool" or "Hey that's neat." and that would be it. It goes on and on like this.

 

I met someone on match.com and we are at the beginning stages of just writing emails. She only responds with one or two words. I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the conversation. I wrote to her and asked her why does she only respond with one or two words, or half a sentence? She wrote back and apologized. She said she is really busy in life. I ask about her life, what is she doing for the weekend, etc. Not much of a reply.

 

From reading posts, I'm getting the impression this is a common theme.

 

Do you believe that the reason people only respond with one or two words is because he/she is too busy?

I completely understand that if a person doesn't respond back it means he/she isn't interested. But they do respond back.

How do you view this?

[SherrySher]

It depends on the person.

Some only respond with a word or two because they are busy, some might not be interested but are being polite to at least reply. Some are rude and thoughtless and lastly, some really don't know what to say and struggle with finding the right words.

 

It's up in the air as to which one of these reasons is why someone is replying with only a few words.

[DancingFool]

Personally, I didn't have any desire or inclination to form connections online. I used OLD for the simple purpose of being introduced to potential dates and then quickly arranging a meet and greet face to face. Either you will like each other in person or you will not and that's that. No amount of writing prose online will change the outcome in real life. In fact, sharing long e-mails and personal info seemed like such an utter waste of energy when 99% of your dates will lead to no chemistry and no interest in seeing each other again even if the date itself was perfectly nice and pleasant.

 

So, quit typing, ask her for a coffee date and that's that. She gave you a pretty strong hint that she is pragmatic and not into writing prose.

[j.man]

Because emailing isn't conversation. A lot is age dependent, too. The older the crowd, generally the less patient when it comes to emails. Even among younger folks, though, it seems online dating has started to disseminate to the point the catfishes, attention / validation seekers, and built-up false expectations are getting old, putting more emphasis on meeting sooner than later.

 

Bottom line is if someone's not replying verbosely, it's because they don't want to. If you're not finding emailing to be effective in getting to know them, try doing it over coffee.

[Scoe141]

Real relationships are done in person, not online.

 

Texting and e-mail should be left to a simple greeting and or confirm something. Anything beyond that can only lead to convolution and ambiguity. And eventually posting to on an online forum asking about the meaning of said e-mail and or text.

[SherrySher]

Bottom line is if someone's not replying verbosely, it's because they don't want to.

 

I normally agree with you 100% on most things jman, with the exception on this point in particular. I actually have a friend who struggles with writing and is nervous and unsure what to reply with.

They really do want to get to know someone and can be interested but have difficulties expressing themselves and saying a whole lot. They are shy.

 

I am not saying that everyone is like that or that's why the short replies, I am just pointing out that not all are just not caring or disinterested.

[Clio]

Imo it depends on the person. Some are not interested, some are not suited to email communication and some believe it's a waste of time given that real communication starts once people meet face to face.

[boltnrun]

I have a friend who responds to EVERYTHING with either "Ugh!" or "Fun!", depending on if I'm writing something bad or good. I seriously think she has those responses programmed into her phone so all she has to do is select it and hit "send". She apparently doesn't want to write a response so she uses these two exclusively. It's frustrating when I put in all this effort to write a message and that's all I get back.

 

But, as for online dating, I agree with the others, send a couple of "hello" messages, then if the woman responds, suggest meeting in person for coffee or dessert.

[katrina1980]

I met someone on match.com and we are at the beginning stages of just writing emails. She only responds with one or two words. I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the conversation. I wrote to her and asked her why does she only respond with one or two words, or half a sentence? She wrote back and apologized. She said she is really busy in life. I ask about her life, what is she doing for the weekend, etc. Not much of a reply.

 

 

Couple of things:

 

1. Do you engage her in convo? Ask questions so she has something (substantive) to respond to?

 

2. Please don't ever ask a girl why she's only responding with one or two words. All that does is put her on the defensive, which is never a good place for a girl to be, especially when you just begin on-line chatting with her or texting. Which is precisely what happened with this girl.

 

Some people are good at communicating (written and verbal) and some aren't.

 

Some are better at written communique and terrible at the verbal or vice versa.

 

Speaking personally, I just love to talk, period! But I am probably better at written.

 

Even at work, I express myself (in letters, emails) to clients much better than when I speak to them verbally (on phone), which is good actually because email is the preferred method of communication at my office.

 

Stop analyzing so much and take each interaction as it comes and adjust your expectations accordingly.

 

If you find she's not one for texting or emailing, then call her, ask her out and talk to her in person.

[abitbroken]

People are so used to texting these days AND are normally replying to emails on their phone. They are not sitting down and writing a thoughtful note on their computer.

[katrina1980]

People are so used to texting these days AND are normally replying to emails on their phone. They are not sitting down and writing a thoughtful note on their computer.

 

Personally I hate texting/emailing from my phone, would much prefer email from my tablet (which is always with me) or laptop.

 

My friends and boyfriend(s) know this about me because I tell them.

 

To each his own though.