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Online men not taking me seriously even after meeting, help?


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I am having a problem with online dating. Most of the time when I message men, they don’t believe that my pictures are real. They start calling me a catfish, along with other vulgar words, because they think I am fake, so I end up blocking them. Then there are those very few men that decide to go through with meeting me in person, and once they meet me, they start acting like jerks by saying things like “You’re too pretty to be single, gorgeous girls who are single are crazy or psycho.” They then decide that I am undateable because I am “attractive and single, so I must be crazy.” This really hurts. Then there are those men who say that I’m too attractive to be single so they accuse me of being married or sleeping around with multiple men, so they end up not giving me a chance either. I feel very alone and it hurts to not be taken seriously. I have a good heart and I’m very giving and loving, but no one ever takes the chance to get to know me because they either think I am a catfish or they assume things about me that are not true. Does anyone else have this issue? Any advice on what I can do? I have been single for five years and I would like to have a real relationship one day.

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Make your photos modest. No plunging necklines, duck faces, or skirts. Dress more modestly on your dates. If you don't look overly sexy, they may be more prone to believing you are real.

 

That being said. This is probably sensitive. But if you really are that gorgeous, why aren't you meeting men in person?

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Make your photos modest. No plunging necklines, duck faces, or skirts. Dress more modestly on your dates. If you don't look overly sexy, they may be more prone to believing you are real.

 

That being said. This is probably sensitive. But if you really are that gorgeous, why aren't you meeting men in person?

 

I dress modestly. There is one picture on my profiles where my shirt is a little low cut so a bit of cleavage shows, but nothing exaggerated, however I will remove that picture. The rest of my pictures are modest. In person I dress modest too. No cleavage showing and I only wear pants. I have an hour glass figure type body, so my clothes fits nicely, but even then, my tops are always flowy, not skin tight.

As to your question, I actually don't believe I'm gorgeous. I know I'm attractive but many women I've known are far more attractive and they are in relationships. im an introvert with social anxiety so i rarely go out, and i don't have many friends.

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Have you been casually dating during this time? Or only now trying to date? I only ask because if there has been zero success in 5 years, then YOU are the common denominator.

 

I casually date if I get lucky enough to meet a guy who believes I'm not a catfish, but after we meet they either want sex, or we will text for a day or so, but during that day of texting, they question me a lot and start acting very insecure saying things like "how do I know you're not texting multiple men," or they'll start saying the same things that i mentioned in my original post.

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I casually date if I get lucky enough to meet a guy who believes I'm not a catfish, but after we meet they either want sex, or we will text for a day or so, but during that day of texting, they question me a lot and start acting very insecure saying things like "how do I know you're not texting multiple men," or they'll start saying the same things that i mentioned in my original post.

 

I'm pretty good at online dating if you want to send me a screen shot I'd be happy to look and tell you where the red flags for guys are

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Stereotypically attractive men, in my experience, are more prone to be players.

 

Switch up who you pursue and see if you have better luck.

 

I have done that actually, tried to date men that I didn't find as attractive but they treated me the same way. I know I am the common denominator if I'm having these issues often, so I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong /:

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No, thank you. I do not feel comfortable doing that.

 

Maybe sure your photos don't have skimpy attire. Nothing too sexy. No bathing suit photos. No sexy Instagram style shots. Also, what does your profile read?

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Yeah, you know all these things that you say that men say to you are not very plausible. I mean I never heard of such behavior towards a woman and definitely not towards a pretty woman. At least not so conspicuous and rude. Maybe you are attracted to the wrong guys?

 

But generally speaking there is a notion that being good looking and single is "weird/bad", meaning that there must be something wrong with you. I do abhor this generalization too.

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Stereotypically attractive men, in my experience, are more prone to be players.

 

Switch up who you pursue and see if you have better luck.

Very arbitrary conclusion. Being attractive doesn't make you a player and being average looking doesn't hinder you from becoming one.

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Yeah, you know all these things that you say that men say to you are not very plausible. I mean I never heard of such behavior towards a woman and definitely not towards a pretty woman. At least not so conspicuous and rude. Maybe you are attracted to the wrong guys?

 

But generally speaking there is a notion that being good looking and single is "weird/bad", meaning that there must be something wrong with you. I do abhor this generalization too.

 

I might be attracted to the wrong guys. Maybe it's a personality thing that I am attracting and not their looks that's the issue. Perhaps a lot of these men are jaded due to bad experiences. Though I have tons of ty experiences with dating, but I know everyone handles things differently.

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My self esteem is not that good. They say that people with low self esteem attract bad partners. Slowly I have been working on my self esteem. I've made a bit of progress, but maybe not enough if I haven't been able to find a respectful person. Not that I tolerate disrespect. As soon as I encounter it, I block them, but they usually stop talking to me before I decide to block them because they think single and attractive equals crazy.

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Very arbitrary conclusion. Being attractive doesn't make you a player and being average looking doesn't hinder you from becoming one.

 

I said in my experience.

 

And I can see the basis for it. Attractive people of either gender see more appealing. Average looking people could TRY to be players, but they likely wouldn't have as much success.

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My self esteem is not that good. They say that people with low self esteem attract bad partners. Slowly I have been working on my self esteem. I've made a bit of progress, but maybe not enough if I haven't been able to find a respectful person. Not that I tolerate disrespect. As soon as I encounter it, I block them, but they usually stop talking to me before I decide to block them because they think single and attractive equals crazy.

Do men approach you when you are at a bar or cafeteria? Maybe the old classic way has better results.

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Do men approach you when you are at a bar or cafeteria? Maybe the old classic way has better results.

 

It's rare when I go to bars but when I've gone the men don't approach me, they just stare a lot. I'm shy in person so I look away. I've been told by friends in the past that before they knew me, I appeared stuck up. I have a resting B-word face syndrome, if you know of the term.

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It's rare when I go to bars but when I've gone the men don't approach me, they just stare a lot. I'm shy in person so I look away. I've been told by friends in the past that before they knew me, I appeared stuck up. I have a resting B-word face syndrome, if you know of the term.
I had to google it. To be honest I would never approach a girl with a resting B-word face, not in a million years.( Given that resting B-word face is like the images on google). If you don't have relaxed face I doubt that anyone will approach you. By the way I don't say it judgmentally but the first thing that crosses someone's mind is that "I am going to get rejected by this woman" and the second thing is"she seems indeed a b-word".

 

Maybe that's something you need to consider changing and see if there is a difference.

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I had to google it. To be honest I would never approach a girl with a resting B-word face, not in a million years.( Given that resting B-word face is like the images on google). If you don't have relaxed face I doubt that anyone will approach you. By the way I don't say it judgmentally but the first thing that crosses someone's mind is that "I am going to get rejected by this woman" and the second thing is"she seems indeed a b-word".

 

Maybe that's something you need to consider changing and see if there is a difference.

 

I googled the faces. I don't look that bad lol, but not far from it. I guess you're right. I will have to find a way to change my face, but smiling when I don't mean it hurts lol. And I don't always look like that. I think my social anxiety makes me look that way, and it's when I'm in a crowd of course. When I'm around people I'm comfortable with, I don't look that way.

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It's rare when I go to bars but when I've gone the men don't approach me, they just stare a lot. I'm shy in person so I look away. I've been told by friends in the past that before they knew me, I appeared stuck up. I have a resting B-word face syndrome, if you know of the term.

What's funny is the girl I was just dating was average. And everyone hit on her. My best friend is an ex stripper. She's tall and stunning. Men gawk and stare at her everywhere she goes. She dresses nice and fully covered up. But she can't remember the last time a guy hit on her.

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I googled the faces. I don't look that bad lol, but not far from it. I guess you're right. I will have to find a way to change my face, but smiling when I don't mean it hurts lol. And I don't always look like that. I think my social anxiety makes me look that way, and it's when I'm in a crowd of course. When I'm around people I'm comfortable with, I don't look that way.

 

I understand you.

 

I never said to be smiley all the time, just smile to a guy you like so you look more forthcoming. Maybe a drink or two would help. Good luck

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I understand you.

 

I never said to be smiley all the time, just smile to a guy you like so you look more forthcoming. Maybe a drink or two would help. Good luck

 

I will try! My damn social anxiety and self esteem gets in the way, but I'm glad we're getting somewhere with my concerns with dating

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I dress modestly. There is one picture on my profiles where my shirt is a little low cut so a bit of cleavage shows, but nothing exaggerated, however I will remove that picture. The rest of my pictures are modest. In person I dress modest too. No cleavage showing and I only wear pants. I have an hour glass figure type body, so my clothes fits nicely, but even then, my tops are always flowy, not skin tight.

As to your question, I actually don't believe I'm gorgeous. I know I'm attractive but many women I've known are far more attractive and they are in relationships. im an introvert with social anxiety so i rarely go out, and i don't have many friends.

 

Well, first of all I don't think one has to be gorgeous to meet men in real life.

 

Regardless, if you are an introvert with social anxiety dating in general (whether it begins in real life or online) is going to be difficult. Have you thought about working with someone to help you with your anxiety?

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