Jump to content

Thoughts, Rants, and Musings


Jibralta
 Share

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, luminousone said:

How amazing that you have those old pictures!

I know. It's amazing what you can find on Ancestry. But you do have to do a lot of cross-checking because 1) a lot of people had the same names, and 2) people migrated from place to place. One of the best ways to check if you have the correct person is by verifying the names and ages of the other members of their household through census records.

For example, in 1850 there might be five people named "John Smith" in the state of North Carolina, but probably only one of them had siblings named Amelia, Bradford, Daniel, Jessica, Mary, Joseph, Ethan, and Robert, aged 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 10, 11. That same family might be in Illinois in 1860, but you can tell it is the same household because they have the same names and each one is 10 years older. The kids that were 8, 10, and 11 in 1850 might be married and out of the house in 1860, and there might be some new additions under 10 years old, but there is enough core information that you can feel comfortable concluding that this is the same family.

The cross-checking process is both addictive and overwhelming lol. I research in bursts, and take long breaks for months at a time, because the mental energy required is exhausting. Writing that summary the other day turned out to be surprisingly helpful in keeping me focused. More so than any spreadsheet thus far. 

Edited by Jibralta
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, dias said:

You are a Southern gal all the way back 🙂 

image.png.36dff2e2dd7ce48f78cdeb9b7db7b85c.png

What are you doing up North ? lol

Yes.

Interestingly, Ancestry puts me in a genetic subgroup called "Southern States Settlers,' in addition to whatever European categories it files me under. 

image.thumb.png.c4b3f6ec1608315c8371181bf3a2fe2a.png

23andMe gives me a somewhat different mix:

image.thumb.png.c345c6b1cfe0ba3781c6c657891cfc28.png

So, you have to take these projections with a grain of salt. The important thing is the records.

I ended up in New Jersey because I was adopted at birth. Interestingly, one of my 4th great grandfathers was born in New Jersey back in 1744. So, I've come full circle in a way. 

Edited by Jibralta
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I met my biological sister yesterday. The plans changed a couple of times and we ended up driving a lot more than we expected to, but I'm really glad we got it done. She is a really nice person, and her boyfriend is great, too. Their kids are all happy, and everything feels easy and well-balanced with them. It was a great experience. 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I met my biological sister yesterday. The plans changed a couple of times and we ended up driving a lot more than we expected to, but I'm really glad we got it done. She is a really nice person, and her boyfriend is great, too. Their kids are all happy, and everything feels easy and well-balanced with them. It was a great experience. 

Great 🙂 Do you look alike?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, dias said:

Great 🙂 Do you look alike?

Not really. She's a pretty girl. We're about the same height. Similar build. She may be a little stronger. But then again, she's 15 years younger than me. Our noses and cheekbones seem similar, but our eyes, hairlines, chins, and face shapes are different, and we have different hair. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/15/2021 at 7:12 AM, Jibralta said:

I met my biological sister yesterday. The plans changed a couple of times and we ended up driving a lot more than we expected to, but I'm really glad we got it done. She is a really nice person, and her boyfriend is great, too. Their kids are all happy, and everything feels easy and well-balanced with them. It was a great experience. 

So happy for you!

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Catch and Kill and Allen v Farrow showed up on HBOMax and I watched both last weekend. I'm sure that it was intentional that they were both on there at the same time.

I watched Catch and Kill first. It was impossible not to muse about the poetic justice of the story behind the story; how Ronan Farrow would probably not have pursued the story at all, had he not first shouted at his sister to "just shut up" about being molested by her father, Woody Allen. 

Allen v Farrow presented the argument that most great artists and leaders of our time turned out to be rapists and abusers of women and children, and that perhaps rape and abuse was a small price to pay for the privilege of great art.* It provided an extensive list of examples, including people like Picasso and Charles ***ens. [I can't believe I can't write D*ckens on here lol].

I thought about that. I could easily still add to the documentary's list of rapey artists and leaders. Was humanity not privileged to have these people among us, contributing, making our lives meaningful, improving our standard of living? If they weren't here, who would provide greatness in art, science, or government? 

Then this morning, it occurred to me that art and science are nothing without humanity. Animals have no use for art and science. Plants have no use for art and science. There would be no one to appreciate the 'great ones' if there was no humanity. Greatness couldn't exist, period. So, the argument about rape and abuse being a small price to pay for 'greatness' is completely stupid.

_________________________________

*Note that this wasn't the position of the documentary; it just presented the side.

Edited by Jibralta
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think I mentioned before that I've mapped out my immediate biological family to near completion.

I've identified my biological father, his children, his grandchildren, his siblings, his siblings' children, and his siblings' grandchildren. It's similar with my biological mother. I've identified her, her siblings, her siblings' children, and her siblings' grandchildren.

I did know my bio-mom's name going in, though. My mom (adoptive mom) flung it at me when I was a teenager, after an argument, and with some caveat of uncertainty. So, I always felt uncertain and I doubted that she gave me the correct name. But, it turns out that she did. 

It doesn't look like my bio-mom had any other children.

For some reason, bio-mom has four--yes four--facebook profiles. All are private, and only one has a photo and it is of her dog. One profile has 23 friends, a second has 72, the third has 21 friends, and the fourth has 57..... I think this calls for an analysis lol.

Her description says she "Works at I am disabled and I do not currently work," which motivates me to keep my distance a little bit. 

A couple months ago, my half-sister made contact with some cousins on our bio-dad's side, and their mother, his sister. My half-sister told me that our aunt may know my mom, and that she was willing to talk to me about her, and about family tree stuff. I contacted the aunt and she replied, but I haven't followed up.

Any idea why someone would have four different facebook profiles?

Edited by Jibralta
Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I’ve encountered that before, the main reasons seem to be they’re not that tech savvy and get locked out of one account, and just quickly make a new profile instead of resetting passwords/contacting support or what have you. 
 

Another is that there’s been a keyboard war with someone, so they make a new profile and re-add friends and family still loyal to them, I guess.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, hidden_kitten said:

the main reasons seem to be they’re not that tech savvy and get locked out of one account, and just quickly make a new profile instead of resetting passwords/contacting support or what have you. 

Ooh. I just remembered: I don't think it's a technological problem because she has friended some of her own profiles! I wonder what the heck that's all about.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Back when I was in the hell of my last job, my boyfriend said to me, "Why don't you just quit? We'll be ok."

He said it a couple of times. I thought about it a lot. It was so tempting. Soooo tempting. One day, I even mentioned it to my mom. She said, "That's not you. You don't quit."

I found that annoying. But she was right. As much as I dreamed of quitting, I didn't have it in me. I'm a terribly stubborn person. My boyfriend teases me that "Fck you I won't do what you tell me" is my personal motto.

Anyway, I'm very glad I didn't quit, even though that job was horrible torture, and even though balancing a job search and job interviews on top of that horrible job felt like death.

Because I didn't quit, I was able to interview from a position of power. If I had quit, I probably would have stumbled over simple interview questions like, "Are you currently employed?" More importantly, I would have felt uneasy about being unemployed, and (not being a sociopath) that anxiety would have shone through. 

__________________________

*That's a catchy lyric from Rage Against the Machine. He sings it to me. I sing it to myself, to be honest.

Edited by Jibralta
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...