I dont understand my friend

[Brokenheartedm]

I had this friend since grade school literally first grade i was in second grade ( he was in grade below me) my ex was in his grade but i didnt start dating her after highschool we are all mutual friends and fireman. From day one he found out i started liking this girl right away he was like she wont date my best friends, i was like if you like her i will back off, no no she is a sister. So i was like okay im going to keep pursuing, and i pursed longer than i shouldve but i got her in the end. During chasing he said negative stuff, while dating he told me i was a place holder and she settled for me, but how is she settling when she had plenty opportunites to date anyone else, nobody forced her to date me..... she chose to. While dating we barely talked for 4 months and he cut her off completely again they are like brother and sister, and if she stayed with me thru that i knew she loved me. Now we are broken up and some days he is like she hates you and other days he tells me not to go back to her its really hurtful and confusing and pushing me from stopping to try and clear air with her. (But that never stopped me the first time) i never once told him anything negative about this girl he is pursing that kinda playsa games why couldnt he just let me be happy why couldnt he just accept it, well talking to my ex one night while we were together and actually loved eachother she told me he tried to pursue her but she friendzoned him. So my question is why did he lie when i asked if he wanted her he hasnt pursued her anymore, why cant he leave me alone about it now why does he feel the need to remind me she "hates me" when others friends say she tried to tell me about our cat being pregnant, or that she became a fireman to bother me. He also said everyone is glad we arent together she was toxic and blah blah it hurts , and another reason i was the way i was durig our relationship always feeling like crap cause inwas told i was a place holder or she "settled" i felt i couldnt trust her but at same time if she really cared about what they said she wouldve left, she lefr cause my attiutude got worse about it all i maybe got alittle controlling and possessive. But it hurts still hearing she hates me part of me believe him and part of me doesnt

[glitterfingers]

Please try to use more punctuation and paragraphs, it is difficult for people to give you advice online when we are barely able to understand what you have written.

 

If someone is saying things you don't like, what should you do? You would have been told this from as young as 4-5 years old.

 

You walk away and stop speaking to that person. So that is what you should do. You will feel better when you do not have to associate with negative people.

[Brokenheartedm]

Basically what im asking is, he knows i loved thos girl why did he constantly have to keep bashing her, telling me i am a place holder this and that. He never wanted us to date, some days he says she hates me, and some days he says you better not take her back. If he doesnt like her why does he have to be like that? Cause he doesnt if he did they wouldve dated by now

[glitterfingers]

Basically what im asking is, he knows i loved thos girl why did he constantly have to keep bashing her, telling me i am a place holder this and that. He never wanted us to date, some days he says she hates me, and some days he says you better not take her back. If he doesnt like her why does he have to be like that? Cause he doesnt if he did they wouldve dated by now

 

Because he's insecure and immature. That is your answer. Mature, grounded people don't get involved in that kind of petty behaviour. Do you want to associate with a petty person or do you want to be mature and move on from these problems? It is very much within your power to simply walk away. There comes a time in life where you have to decide for yourself whether it's worth wasting your precious time on people who don't make life better

 

There is no point analysing the situation trying to figure out exactly what was going through his mind when he did or said certain things, because ultimately it is not coming from a place of him caring about and respecting you as a person