Do I tell him that I am falling for him?

[Natalie20]

Hey,

I am on here again, because of a situation I have found myself in,

to cut a long story short, after my last post I forgot about that boy, October turned to January and I became friends with a boy from Spain at uni, doing his last year in UK,

we became very good friends and then (please don't judge me) we decided to become friends with benefits, he respects me.. I respect him.. we still go places together which doesn't involve the 'benefits' part... anyway in this time, I have started to like him, which has grown more since we started the 'benefits' part a month ago,

He leaves in a month to go back to Spain, he says I can come and visit anytime, also after his exams finish next week, we plan to go and visit places etc..

but I don't know if I should tell him that I like him or not?

I don't want to ruin our friendship, because if he doesn't feel the same way, even our friendship will be gone, but is starting to hurt me inside,

what we are doing is intimate, it makes me feel so close to him, which makes me like him more

 

Maybe he feels the same way? But I don't know

Because the 'friends with benefits' situation I still.keep my distance.. if that makes sense.. like I haven't let my walls down, so maybe he feels I am not interested in that way, as well my parents don't know when I go to see him and he knows that, so maybe that plays a part as well in thinking I just see it as friends as well?

 

I would like some advice of what to do, shall I say nothing and just keep friends with him? Or do I say I like him which could potentially ruin the complete friendship?

[Keyman]

Honestly, the more of the humpy pumpy game you play with him, the deeper you are going to feel and the more inner hurt you are going to feel as well.

 

My general opinion if feelings begin to come into play in a FWB situation, you tell the 'friend' of you feelings and face up to whatever happens. A FWB is supposed to be fun. Add unrequited feelings into the mix and one side stops having fun. These things usually have a limited lifetime anyway and to be honest, most don't evolve into anything more.

[Andrina]

When women have sex, hormones are released that make the woman want to bond with the man, even if he isn't right for her. That's usually why FWBs never work out. The woman always ends up wanting more.

 

Your friendship isn't meant to last, because his future gf won't accept him being friends with a woman he was once intimate with. Your future bf probably wouldn't accept this either. Tell him you're interested in more if you can foresee either of you closing the distance within a few years of long distance dating. Most people regret not taking a risk, versus taking one, even if it didn't pan out. Just make sure he lacks deal breakers, and is a good risk for your heart. Take care.

[Natalie20]

Okay, yes I need to tell him,

Do I do it now talking over whatsapp? Or wait until I see him next which will be after weekend?

[hrb23]

Okay, yes I need to tell him,

Do I do it now talking over whatsapp? Or wait until I see him next which will be after weekend?

 

In person is always the best. Texting is too 'easy' for both of you. You will want to judge his response and reaction which you can't do over text. Don't make it a big event though, it shouldn't put unnecessary stress on either of you, keep it casual and get your point across.