How can I learn if he's single?

[WombatShadow]

Not sure I have this in the right section. If it needs moved, mods, feel free to do so.

 

There's this guy I'm in a musical with. He's tall, funny, smart, roughly my age: in short, he's well-within my type. That said, I don't know him all that well as yet. We don't have any scenes together, so I haven't had occasion to strike up more than a passing conversation with him.

 

I also don't really want to heavily pursue any further conversation with him unless I learn he's single. I'm not going to not talk to him, of course, but I'm not going to seek him out for more than said passing convos unless I know something can come of it. I'm really not looking for any additional friends at this point in time (if friendship happens, then okay, but I'm not seeking it out). Instead, I'm kind of getting ready to throw myself back into the dating scene in a casual sort of way and I'm thinking he might be a good place to start testing the waters.

 

How do I figure out if he's single without seeming like a complete creep? His Facebook doesn't say for sure, and the one friend I have who knows him isn't sure if he's seeing anyone.

 

Thanks in advance!

[mustlovedogs]

I don't think you should base your actions on if he's single or not. I think you should be friendly and conversational and build it up to flirting. He will tell you if he has a girlfriend if he gets uncomfortable. Build up some comfort, go out with some other cast mates, and get to know each other. Don't put so much pressure on yourself

[used2blue]

Find your voice to ask for what you want in life.

[WombatShadow]

I don't think you should base your actions on if he's single or not. I think you should be friendly and conversational and build it up to flirting. He will tell you if he has a girlfriend if he gets uncomfortable. Build up some comfort, go out with some other cast mates, and get to know each other. Don't put so much pressure on yourself

 

I guess part of it is that I'm afraid to put myself out there in any sort of a flirting way if I'm guaranteed a fail, i.e. he's dating someone or he's a confirmed bachelor or something. My ego is only beginning to come back after my ex broke it, and I'm not quite recovered enough to run headlong into an unknown situation.

[WombatShadow]

Find your voice to ask for what you want in life.

 

I mean, I have a voice, and I've asked the only person I know won't go running to tell him about it. I've been burned by gossipers before, and it's not something I relish.

[mustlovedogs]

If you flirt and find out he's taken, it's no different if you find out he's taken some other way.

[Andrina]

Why not ask a few castmates to do something as a group, and then invite him along? Perhaps the subject will come up on the outing, or maybe he'd ask if his gf could come along if he has one. It's not a big deal if he has a gf when it was a group activity. It's not like you have to stay friends if he has one. On the night of the play, you can ask him who has come to watch him. If he has a gf, she'd most likely attend.

 

Most people are glad they took a risk instead of not trying at all, even if the risk didn't pan out.

[WombatShadow]

Thanks for the advice, everyone. Guess I'm just a little nervous about it.