12Network Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 I just joined this site on day 7 of NC. I'll try to keep this short. My ex (30) and I (27) were together for 3.5 years. We were very good together, we had the same life goals, the same sense of humor, our families loved each other (we would have big family bbq's every summer), I don't believe in soul mates but I think we were as close as is possible. In the second year he moved to Europe for a year, and then back into our apartment and then in the fourth year back to Europe. We had been having a bit of a stressful time over the past 7-8 months, he was writing his dissertation and I was completing graduate school applications. So I knew we were both really stressed but we would always talk about how we were feeling and he would say that it was just school and work and for me it was just school. In March we got into a fight but because of the time difference had to leave it. Two days later I called him early in the morning and we had a quick chat where he said he loved me and missed me. Then a few hours later he called because we had more time to talk and I asked if he wanted to talk about the argument and he just broke up with. He said he hasn't been happy in a year and gave the whole I love you but not in love with you. I asked if there was someone else and he said he maybe liked this other girl (who's 6 years younger than him and from a different European country than the one they're in, but is living there for the year as well) but nothing has happened. Him and this other girl (who actually looks like a younger me) started dating a week later and now he's taken a leave of absence from the university and is trying to extend his visa to stay in Europe for another year. I tried to be friends with him for the first 6 weeks (he said we wanted to be friends and would be very upset if we didn't stay friends) but it was completely one sided and almost every conversation would end with me crying and wanting to get back together. A week ago we were talking and he said the new girlfriend is also going to be staying in for another year and I lost it and just got super upset I asked him if he loves the new girl and he said he doesn't know. So I decided to go no contact. I emailed him a list of the things we had together in the apartment so we could divvy up our things and he said he saw it and will let me know but hasn't replied as of yet. I just don't know what happened, we barely argued and when we did it was always very civil and polite. I thought we were in love and we often talked about our future together. Now we've been broken up for 7 weeks, in NC for 1 week, and he's been in a new relationship for 6 weeks. I just miss him like crazy. He said he's happy and, while it's scary, he's excited about the fact that he is able to start his life over, so I don't think he's going to change his mind or come back. I just don't know what to do, I just miss him so much. I've been trying to focus on myself, I have been exercising (I've actually lost a lot of weight), started learning Italian, working on my French, diving into work etc. but it's not getting easier. He obviously isn't missing me or wanting to come back to me if he's trying to stay in Europe with her. I don't know, I guess I'm just looking for advice/support? I want him to miss me and to realize he made a mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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